what is poo?

[millsa]

sorry for a weird question but our boy (nearly 2) is being potty trained and is doing well with peeing, but he seems to be really freaked out by his poo, and tries to hold it for as long as he can. And when he does it, he looks scared and runs away. I would like to be able to somehow explain to him what poo is and why he needs to do it, but ... no idea how much a two-year old actually underestands, and what the best way of explaining is!

any tips welcome please!!!!! quick ! :)

[pebbles]

I had same problem with my boy and did lots of research and came across this book on lind. I have to say I didn't actually use it as maltesers actually worked their magic after a few weeks however I have heard great things. Good luck

[Belle]

Could you use the analogy of throwing rubbish away - saying it's what his body doesn't need anymore? He must see you chuck stuff in the bin all the time?

[EDmummy]

Had a friend who used to say the poo was going to a poo party when it was flushed away. Worked for her child. Didn't use it myself (child 1 wanted to keep his poos firmly in a nappy even after being potty trained for nearly a year and child 2 couldn't wait to get on to the toilet and do his poos like a big boy).

[The Nappy Lady]

Millsa,

had exactly this problem with eldest daughter, took about a month to get her over it, I initially had to have a nappy on for poos.

I explained very simply - food goes in, what body doesn't use comes out as poo as is waste. (bin analogy above very good). Lots if reassurance and you'll get through it.

If in disposables one thing to try is to cut a hole in the nappy and get them to sit on potty or loo. They feel security of nappy but actually poo falls through. After a few times they may stop needing the nappy.

My daughter potty trained whilst on holiday in France and we only realised we had a poo issue when she couldn't hold it any longer and started running up the beach trying to escape it as it fell out. Funny now but not at the time!

Just keep talking to him, keep explaining and show him you poos in the loo (yuk I know) he will get it in the end.

Molly

x

[Ondine]

"the little mole who knew it was none of hus business"

Great read for all the family!

[linzkg]

My mom used a very similar theory when I was young - only that one day in a very long queue to the toilets at some fair of sorts all the ladies pushed my mom to the front as i was crossing my legs saying 'mommy poo's coming, poo's coming!'

I got onto the toilet and at the top of my voice starting singing 'poo's gone to the city la la la' - my mom desperately tried to get me to quieten down but I just said 'but mom poo's gone to the city so its not coming now!' and promptly continued to sing at the top of my voice while my mom could hear the giggles of the ladies standing outside the door

My mom ushered me out very embarrassed apologising to all the ladies still queuing for the toilet ..

The theory definitely seemed to work though as I never had a problem but have heard of it happening .. good luck

[millsa]

thanks all for comments and advice. I've tried it all but unfortunately nothing has worked for us yet, he is actually getting worse on the poo front. he eats a lot of fruit and I know he needs to poo every day, but he holds it s long as he can and then just runs away from the potty and does it on the floor. very strange as he is very good with peeing. just need to persevere I think, wait and hope...

[OliviaDee]

wot Ondine said.

that's a great book - i bought a copy of it in Chener's recently

[nunheadmum]

Hi Millsa. I know how you're feeling. My eldest was great with wees but took months to do poos. She used to hold it in all day at nursery (or home) and then go into the bin store of the corner house on the way home and do it in her pants. It went on for months! We tried everything but she just wasn't ready. Then one day she just did it and gradually she was fine. (Though she still prefers us to leave the bathroom while she poos.)

Sorry not meaning to depress you that it can go on for months but more to assure you that it's about them, not what you are or aren't doing. Try not to stress about it - hard I know when you've got poo on the floor but probably easier to clean than poo-ey pants!!

[The Nappy Lady]

Millsa,

Are there any 'signs' you can easily pick up on when he needs to go?

Could you pop a nappy on him at that point, so he can poo, you can easily clean it up, and then leave him nappy free again? I know it seems like the 'wrong' thing to do, but often if you can de-stress the situation, give it a while and then try again you will suddenly find the problem has gone away.

With our daughter giving her a nappy for her poos for a couple of months did the trick, and then she was fine to use the potty.

Also, not sure if you've tried the cutting the hole in the disposable trick, but if not then moving on to this, from him using a nappy again for a few weeks might ease the progression if that makes sense.

Good luck, hold on to the fact that none of us are walking around in nappies, so you know he WILL get there eventually!

Molly

[millsa]

Thanks nunheadmum. A bit depressing that it took months, I was hoping for just a few more days...

The signs couldn't be more obvious, Molly. When he needs to go he jumps and screams 'poo poo' for about an hour before he does it on the floor (having held it for at least 2 days!). But he doesn't let me touch him in that hour before... I have tried to put a nappy on and said that it is ok to poo in the nappy, but he doesn't want nappies on - he says he is 'a big boy now'... Anyway I will try the nappy again. Have had just deal with another very stressful hour and the poo on the floor...:(

[Saffron]

Does your little one get a lot of attention from the pooing situation? If so, this behavioural connection could make things more difficult to resolve. Try not talking about poo at all for a week, even when he says he needs to go. Just acknowledge that you heard him, but don't engage him on the topic otherwise. If he does poo on the floor, just clean it up without any fuss at all, and carry on as if nothing happened. (Easier said than done, I know *sigh*) Of course, if he does go to the toilet on his own, give him lots of positive attention and rewards.

Good luck!

:-)

[millsa]

HEY, BIG DAY: he came to me this morning and said: poo poo, and sat on the the potty and did it. Just like that...

We've been putting a nappy on for the last 4 weeks when he wanted a poo, and today he didnt ask for a nappy, just a potty. I think what really helped was us relaxing about the whole thing and not making a big deal about not pooing in the potty. Or maybe he just needed some time to get used to the idea?

good luck to anyone trying to potty train. can be hard work but definitely rewarding! :)

[damzel]

Congratulations! You must be thrilled to bits :o)