My missus thinks 'KEEF' is a numpty

[Keef]

Yeah, he didn't stay around long, this forum isn't very wecoming to new comers is it?

[Alan Dale]

I think that depends on the newcomer.

[Michael Palaeologus]

This is true - launching an attack in your early posts doesnt endear.

[AnotherPaul]

Someone who turns up in a here stating his wife thinks KEEF is numpty and that he wants to know who the biggest sausage is, is in all probability a numpty and a sausage himself.

For me a numpty is someone who has misfortune befall them with no understanding of why or how to mitigate the problem.

A sauasge is a far more cheerful state of being, normally sounds best prefixed by 'you old', a term of pork endearment.

ap

[capt_birdseye]

a term of pork endearment

Love it! Can anyone think of any other meat-based compliments?

[Alan Dale]

No but 'chicken' is a meat based insult meaning coward. I suspect you knew that.

[capt_birdseye]

I've also heard "chicken" used as a term of endearment though.

"How're you chicken?"

"The chick with massive.....hands"

"Eh-up chuck"

[Alan Dale]

Or an insult like 'Don't be a cock'.

Lamb can be used for endearment 'You darling little lamb'.

Duck and ducky are also popular terms of endearment in Lincolnshire.

[Brendan]

I got a little taken aback when I first met my future father-in-law and he called me a cock. Apparently it?s a Northernese thing but I?m not convinced.

[Keef]

You silly cow! (old school Eastenders style, cow actually pronounced caaaaaaa)

[capt_birdseye]

I can't allow cow, that's more livestock rather than a partiular cut, similarly "Pig". I think you can get away with duck or chicken because that's what you'd ask for at William Rose. Also, lamb as in "leg of".

[Brendan]

So is cock livestock or a particular cut?

[Brendan]

Oh dear. My apologies for that one. Don?t know what came over me.

[capt_birdseye]

Hmmm, dunno, do you eat cock?

(guffaw)

[Brendan]

ooh dear oh dear oh dear.

[capt_birdseye]

Sorry. It's quite an achievement to lower the tone of this thread.

[Brendan]

I thought I had hit rock bottom but you trumped me!

[AnotherPaul]

not expecting this to help but 'duck' when applied to people makes me feel wrong. my aunt and her over made-up hair face and having to kiss her cheek goodbye during death throes of bland family gatherings.

'goodbye ducky' she'd say brushing her pale and dusty side-of-face onto me. yuk etc.

oh, and the cloak eats numpty offal.

ap

[Jah Lush]

Also, there's the description of a young man/boy homosexual who gets regularly buggered by an older man being a "young chicken."

[fish]

bald marauder Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hmm, the minor rumpus kicked off by the cloak's

> postings remind me somewhat of the the oddities

> posted by CRAZYFISH or something like that. Has

> she disappeared?

> (BTW Sorry Keef, I could have started a new thread

> and let this one sink a little lower, but it is my

> first posting on this thread, and I'm sure it

> won't keep going forever. Maybe we should start a

> sweepstake on when it will disappear from the

> first page - Christmas...2008?)

> BM

Just seen this - interesting, to say the least!

[Keef]

Cheers for that Fish.

[*Bob*]

HA HA HA

doh!

[mockney piers]

It's alright fish, they were actually referring to on "crazynurse" who ended up banned. She really was a loon.

Poor Keef, bumped again huh?

[fish]

mockney piers Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> It's alright fish, they were actually referring to

> on "crazynurse" who ended up banned. She really

> was a loon.

> Poor Keef, bumped again huh?

Five years of therapy for my paranoia down the drain .......it's back to the shrink - and the demon drink.

[capt_birdseye]

What's all this about?