Maternity Wards

[Asset]

To be honest, in re: the midwife thing, through both my labours I could not have cared less who was with me as I was so focussed on the labour. Obviously I realise everyone is different but I would say don't get hooked on the idea of having the same midwife. They are all qualified to do the job.

[bagelh]

I agree that no decision is ever final - in fact home births are always planned on a contingency that you may have to be admitted to the labour ward for whatever reason - even if it is last minute nerves. However the suggestion above was that you should deliberately mislead your primary care team about your intentions, which is what I was objecting to.

My first birth was a home birth supported by on-call' St Thomas's midwifes who were excellent, and who I hadn't met before - and as Asset points out, it didn't matter a great deal I hadn't met them, I just wanted to get the baby out! The two midwifes stayed past their shift, as it ended up being a long drawn out affair, and they supported us through the next week with more home visits which we really appreciated.

The Brierly and other home birth teams do not represent a 'system', they are hard working, dedicated group of women who are motivated by the desire to provide supported, positive births - the relationship works because it is based on mutual respect and trust. If this is broken for whatever reason - people playing the system or whatever - it shatters the whole basis and understanding behind one-one care in the first place. Thats not to say you can't be honest about not being completely sure about a home birth - no-one expects 100% certainty out of pregnant women! But if you are honest, all for the better, as it means they can offer you the best care and support that is appropriate.

[bawdy-nan]

If you're unsure (and you can afford it) you could always consider hiring an independent midwife who'll help you give birth at home or in hospital. You could also consider hiring a doula - someone who isn't a midwife but provides support and acts as your advocate if you are in hospital. They're usually someone who has had a baby already and has been present at many many births. Having them there means you can just get on with the giving birth thing.

I do think that lying to get a place with a group of midwives is wrong, both in a moral and a practical sense. It rather smacks of the sudden development of religion that seems to affect the middle classes when school admissions crop up...Brierly and Albany work with people who want to have home births as well as those who are particularly vulnerable because of mental health problems or social deprivation. I'm not sure taking a place with them us the right thing to do if you don't really need the services they offer.

Secondly a really important part of being able to give birth "easily" is being able to trust the people who have around you and I just don't think lying to them is a good start. Its a different kind of relationship to that with your GP or other "service" provider.

Of course, its clear there is a big need for more of these kinds of midwifery teams. They provide excellent service. I had two homebirths each time with the Brierley.

I wonder if the local WI or very active NCT mightn't start a campaign to lobby the head of midwifery services at Kings to provide more teams ...

[Keef]

So does this all mean that I wasn't delivered to my parents by a white swan after all? :-S

[Asset]

just as an aside - there is an article in this weeks Grazia about 'freebirthing'. Apparantley getting popular in America (!) Giving birth at home on your own, no midwife or doctor and the woman interviewed didn't have her partner there either.

[dulwichmum]

Free birthing is completely irresponsible and illegal. You can be prosecuted for this and with cause.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Possibly true DM - but which country would you aspire to?

I don't recall them being much cop "back home" and in the US you have to pay a lot of insurance which may not cover everything and leaves people who can't afford it behind?

My friend justgave birth to an 8lb boy today so I'm all made-up!

[dulwichmum]

I can only comment on this country darling Sean, it is where I gained any insight I have I am afraid. Congratulations on your chums new baby. Have they given the baby a name yet?

[SeanMacGabhann]

I'm assuming it's Sean - I can argue with them later if not

;-) Thanks

[dulwichmum]

Well of course!

I wanted to call my daughter Freya after me - but James would not hear of it. He thought that Dulwichmum was a very odd name for a baby - sigh...