Things that annoy me about the North....

[????]

1) My northern mates down south (especially in the 1980s)

"You southern tory tossers don't know what it's like oooop north. Thatcher blah di blah"...to a man/woman they were either Derbyshire farmers' sons or daughters of accountants in Harrogate.

2) Beer

I want a pint. Not 3/4 of a pint then a whole load of foam. Tetley cream my A*rse.

3) Strangers talking on busses

"Up north strangers actually talk to each other on public transport"....like I want to aspire to that?

...northern birds are alright though.

[felt-tip]

Northerner frindliness is a shallow, canine, indiscriminate kind of friendliness that can actually make you feel a bit cheap.

[ratty]

I am married to one. She's alright by her mum is always going on about northern solidarity. FOOK OFF BACK THERE THEN!

[DJKillaQueen]

I'm from the North...and yes Thatcher's policies destroyed my father (a man who'd worked all his life never worked again) and it's not something to joke about or dismiss as Northern whinging. Were it not for Heseltine the North and Midlands would have been left to rot indefinitely by Thatcher and Tebbit.

And yes northerners are genuinely friendly (indeed as are most towns and cities outside of London), but there are reasons for that - London is a fast moving transient capital city where neighbours don't often know each other. But all these things are generalisations of course.

When I went to University, the commnets I heard privileged southern students saying about northerners shocked me. I found them rude, arrogant and ignorant (and as thick as planks - why on earth their parents bothered spending all that money to send them to public school mystified me lol). I never saw that at school and college in my home town. So unfortunately there is some truth in it. Obviously there are many lovely people in the South too but there's a certain attitude found amongst the privileged (and bearing mind many southerners are not privileged of course) that is peculiar to the South. Some of the vilest, most rudest people I've ever met have come from the upper classes and establishment and they don't grow up in the North most of them.

So I would say the North/ South thing is a reflection of a certain class/ culture thing but it certainly doesn't apply to all southerners, or northerners equally.

[????]

But what about the beer?

[DJKillaQueen]

lol....well I'm a cider kind of gal and they all like stout up there which I can't defend lol.

[felt-tip]

I must say I do like northern beers. John Smith oop north is a genuinely great pint oop there but darn sarf its utter crap.

BUT - you cant beat Tanglefoot can ya? Ey - can ya? Ey.

[DJKillaQueen]

OMG Tanglefoot.....haven't heard of that one in years.

The prices are better too...a tenner will keep you in the pub all night!

[kpc]

???? Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> But what about the beer?

When I migrated south more years ago than I care to remember, the beer in London was certainly nothing to write home about. As my chemistry master pointed out, you can't brew good beer in London because of the water. Damned near turned me into a lager drinker. Salvation could be found in occasional visits to The Raven at Ravenscourt Park, where the permanent guest beer was Brew XI.

And yes. Tetley's is cr@p, but the cream flow idea was probably the brainstorm of some southern marketing man.

(posted from the Midlands, where I shall enjoy much Purity beer tomorrow).

[Brendan]

Listen, they're cunts up there. No question.

They aren't as much of an utter shower as you lot are down here but cunts none the less. They try.

[HonaloochieB]

Fred E True Man.

People on Bargain Hunt who, when informed by 'The Timster' Wonacott that they have spent a paltry amount of cash, invariably chorus "Well we're from Yorkshire", as though that was reason enough for their tightfistedness.

David Dickinson. Look, Northeners/Southerners, we're all agreed aren't we? He is a c@nt, right?

Being overly plucky.

Having to laugh or else you'll cry.

That Stuart Maconie bloke going on about this and that in his Northern inspired books.

Spawning that New York Dolls/Mott The Hoople/Nick Kent adoring solipsist Steven Patrick Morrisey.

That David Peace ripping off James Ellroy and transposing it to Yorkshire.

Peter Kay. For encouraging that utter sh!thouse Paddy McGuinness.

Peter Kay on his own, that live DVD and Phoenix Nights, alright, but I'll happily never bother again.

[DJKillaQueen]

Dang...can't argue with any of that...

[HonaloochieB]

Though, I'm feeling love (as we urban Southerners have it) for...

The Beatles.

Morrisey.

Stuart Maconie.

The Likely Lads.

The Rodney Bewes' performed theme song for Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads.

The Smiths.

Every Morrisey interview.

Every Johnny Marr interview.

John Cooper-Clarke's dress sense, John Cooper-Clarke's poems, John Cooper=Clarke's interviews.

Peter Tinniswood.

Frank Sidebottom.

The Hollies.

Coronation Street (not today, but Elsie Tanner, Ena Sharples, Percy 'Ive made gravy under gunfire, you know' Sugden).

Tony Wilson.

Punks with giant mohican spikes and small trimmed moustaches.

Saturday Night And Sunday Morning.

Keith Waterhouse's columns for the Daily Mirror, Keith Waterhouse' two follow ups to The Diary Of A Nobody.

Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads.

Two Black Sabbath records.

Alan Bleasdale.

Steven Wells.

The Tetley Tea Folk.

Dennis Skinner.

Half-Man Half-Biscuit, though despite admiring HMHB I do have a fondness for Nerys Hughes, perverse I know but there we are.

Any road up, I'm off t' me soft Southern bed, if owt else occurs, I'll si thee in't morning.

[HonaloochieB]

Just about to retire when I considered whether I required, as we poncified Southerners call it, a 'comfort break'.

Then my Northern sensibilities got off their backside and enquired whether 'a slash would be in order'?

It was then that I heard in my own head, the wheedling cajoling voice asking me 'Ave you been, 'ave you beeeeeen, Walter'?

So I'd like to add Hilda Baker and Jimmy Jewell to the list above. 'Picalli Nellie' indeed.

[Mick Mac]

The London Pride is sooo much better oop north.

[????]

In Highgate?

[????]

Beatles or Stones

Oasis or Blur

Buzzcocks or Pistols

Stone Roses/Happy Mondays or fooking anyone

Gobby northeners with average music

[Mick Mac]

Highquids.

[Mick Mac]

Oasis - 1995 - Morning Glory - everyone loved it, every pub played it, everyone sang it.

[????]

like Slade at Christmas...

[Mick Mac]

Slade, was one song - Oasis, was a whole album. The summer I met my wife - it was a top summer.

[????]

Look, I don't want your sentimentality to interfere with my riling of the northern folk

[Mick Mac]

Don't worry - I'm sure I will edit it in the morning, before the wife thinks I like her.

[????]

I've PMed her it

[katie1997]

Whitby, North Yorkshire (tu)

Visited last summer - amazing coastline and harbour, winding cobbled streets, great museum thats not been dumbed down, old steam railway trips through the scenic moors, local art, fish & chips everywhere you turn although the magpie cafe is best, ancient Abbey, Dracula*, jewellery shops selling jurassic jet, maritime history and Captain Cook. Its fab up there, try it.

*All the hotels and b&b's seemed to go in for vampire-related 'decor', including coffins for beds**

We were told they have a gothic festival every year. Not sure what this involves.

** I made that bit up.