toddler squabbles etiquette??

[hanstands]

What do you generally do in the following [probably common] scenario?

You have a toddler and have a Mum friend with similar age toddler round for the morning. Your friend's toddler happily finds toys he likes to play with but your own child posessively grabs everything your friend's toddler plays with. This scenario repeats itself as the morning pans out. How would/do you handle it?? And what do you consider to be the 'expected' etiquette?

[Claire29]

Depending on their age I would normally take the toy in question off the kids if they can't share or play with it nicely taking turns. Or if you know that a particular toy is a fave with your little un, and is also likely to be popular with other kids i would put it out of sight while other kids are around, that way no one get's upset. It's hard trying to explain sharing to really little ones but they do learn, eventually! Also depending on age of kids I always find its easier to get kids to the park for a quick run around before having friends around, that way they haven't got as much energy and generally it can be a bit calmer.

[Goodliz]

Claire29 Wrote:

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> Depending on their age I would normally take the

> toy in question off the kids if they can't share

> or play with it nicely taking turns. Or if you

> know that a particular toy is a fave with your

> little un, and is also likely to be popular with

> other kids i would put it out of sight while other

> kids are around, that way no one get's upset. It's

> hard trying to explain sharing to really little

> ones but they do learn, eventually!

I agree. Out of sight - out of mind!

If things really kick off distracting with a story often helps too.

[hanstands]

Claire29 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Depending on their age I would normally take the

> toy in question off the kids if they can't share

> or play with it nicely taking turns. Or if you

> know that a particular toy is a fave with your

> little un, and is also likely to be popular with

> other kids i would put it out of sight while other

> kids are around, that way no one get's upset.

Thanks loads for your comments...:)

Its any toy or object though that the friend's toddler starts to play with. Am particularly interested in what you say [or not!] to own possessive [aged 3] toddler at the times of each incident?

[helena handbasket]

My son is also three and seems to be getting more possesive of his toys. Never used to be.

I find at this age I can now talk to him before the play date and discuss the rules. We put away the "good" toys and leave out the sharing toys, which he chooses he agrees that these are the toys for sharing. If he gets nasty, he is warned once and then removed from the room and he can no longer play. It has to be consistent, and helps if the moms you visit with are like-minded so they see the same consequenses for others. It's so much harder to explain why Johnny doesn't have to share but you do.

[Moos]

I agree with helena hb. My 3 yo shouts No! Mine! and the response is We share toys - it's X's turn, you can have a turn in 5 minutes.

Then you have to keep to your word.

[melbourne groover]

The kitchen timer is genius for these situations. They all understand the beeps and the 2 minute turns (or whatever appropriate). Ours took some heavy usage between 3 and 4yrs...

[helena handbasket]

Yep. We also used it for time out on the step or chair or whatever the flavour is that week. Oddly one of the few things we don't actually fight over, for some reason he has just accepted the timer as the boss! Ah small victories........

[Fuschia]

Having twins we have this all the time. If I see one snatch from the other I will go and give it back (offended party will be shouting Ma turn! Sharing!)

If they are just screeching and I am not sure why, I ignore it. I'd never get anything done if I involved myself in every incident. One of my twins is a bit wussy, but TBH, he needs to learn how to stand up for himself else the other WILL take everything off of him. he just has to get used to it or sort it out!!