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Binning my girlfriend

Sheepdog

By Sheepdog
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Emerson Crane

Emerson Crane

Posted
Posted

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Well it has about 3/4 as many.

>

> But but but, what's to debate about the Chilean

> Miners, Emerson - are you expecting anyone to say

> they wanted them to stay down? Fallacious

> nonsense.


On the contrary, merely an observation as to what EDFers find more interesting. Did I suggest that I expected anyone wanting these guys to stay down there? No. Fallacious nonsense on your part.

Emerson Crane

Emerson Crane

Posted
Posted

Ted Max Wrote:

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> merely an observation as to what EDFers find more

> interesting.

>

> Yes, the EDF thread on the miners has been the

> only way to follow that story.


Really??? Wow, you learn something new everyday. I've touched a raw nerve here. Someone asking how to conduct their lives on an internet forum is clearly as addictive as watching reality shows such as the x factor and BB for you, and demonstrates a singular lack of social skills on the part of the thread author. I have no more to add.

computedshorty

computedshorty

Posted
Posted

Regarding your intention of dumping your girlfriend.


You could of course try to explain the predicament that you are now faced with, after a night out with the lads, where it was decided by them that it was time for you to conform to the tradition of your faith. Male circumcision.

A public house wooden table in the rear gardens in the dark might not be the best or sterile place to perform this operation, never the less, a cut throat razor was found and a slightly inebriated friend attempted to remove shall we say the onion ring, but the operative tripped over the protruding leg of the table and sliced off the whole onion.

A call on the mobile phone brought a Paramedic, who had to stop the flow of blood, he admitted he had never been trained to do this before on this part of the body, he had to keep the onion alive but carried no instrument that could do this, he just placed it back where it had come from, and a drop of Super Glue each side, it did stick in place but so did the rubber glove of the Paramedic, who had to remove the glove to allow the casualties removal to hospital.

During the consultation later with the Surgeon who did the operation, it was found that the onion had in fact been replaced at a forty five degree angle to the left, this would take time adjusting to, as if using a Public Urinal the person to your immediate left would become wet, you should therefore turn forty five degrees to your right to be on target of the urinal.

As you know it is not possible to turn your right wrist more than forty five degrees with your arm bent across your body, so you must become ambidextrous and use your left hand to position yourself whilst using the toilet.

I strongly recommend that you try experimenting standing in the shower with the door shut, you will soon find the angle to stand, once this is found, you can dispose of the newspapers on the toilet floor and replace the toilet roll back on its roller to the left that you had to remove as it got wet.

This will take many months to heal and might not regain its proper function ever again.


This explained to your Girl you could add;


I realise that you cant be expected to continue to be as close as we were, I must respect your decision if you want to break off our relationship, and find a more upright partner to share your life.

Pearson

Pearson

Posted
Posted

^ Now that is very dangerous...with massive 'backfire' potential!


Any good caring loving woman will see this as a sensitive man fully in touch with his emotions.

She will more than likely be prepared to live with this and support you through this traumatic time in your life...


Stuck with her for ever = fail

jollybaby

jollybaby

Posted
Posted
I'd recommend le Chardon - the tiled Walls give great acoustics and the proximity of the tables mean that the entire restaurant would be able to follow the scene. Even better do it on a Wednesday so the magician guy could cheer her up afterwards with a little trick. Or just go for the rodeo option
Ted Max

Ted Max

Posted
Posted


Really??? Wow, you learn something new everyday. I've touched a raw nerve here. Someone asking how to conduct their lives on an internet forum is clearly as addictive as watching reality shows such as the x factor and BB for you,


You seem angry, Emerson, and not a little confused. Has someone dumped you in public recently?

Emerson Crane

Emerson Crane

Posted
Posted

Ted Max Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> > Really??? Wow, you learn something new everyday.

> I've touched a raw nerve here. Someone asking how

> to conduct their lives on an internet forum is

> clearly as addictive as watching reality shows

> such as the x factor and BB for you,

>

> You seem angry, Emerson, and not a little

> confused. Has someone dumped you in public

> recently?


Angry? no, confused, how so? Please expalin yourself. No I'm married and possess life/social skills. How about you? Do you have a partner, or are you unloved.

katie1997

katie1997

Posted
Posted

Jeremy and rosieh are right.


Anyway, just because someone asks on an internet forum doesn't mean they don't have life/social skills. The variety of responses on the edf is almost always guaranteed to be interesting and funny, guessing that's why people get drawn in. It can be like reading someone else's personal emails at times*.





* theoretically-speaking ;)

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