People who work in Advertising

[HonaloochieB]

As a top-flight ad exec I'm issuing a challenge to fellow creatives.

Let's take some local businesses and produce up-beat punchy slogans for them - if they take them up then we charge our usual rates.

I'll get the ball rolling.

Franklins - 'Drinker out the front - Eater out the back'

William Rose - The place to MEAT on Saturdays'

Blue & Green - 'Hurray for Booze'

Chener Books - 'Read my lips - BOOKS RULE'

Lloyds Pharmacy - 'Your local drug dealer'

Moxons - 'We dont fish for compliments BUT you'll compliment our fish'

Favorite Chicken - 'When only dirty bird will do'

ED - 'Say it with gewgaws'

White Stuff - 'If you're skinny - come inny'

The COOP - 'We know we're not very good right now BUT we are open late'

Greetings - 'In Scottish our name would mean 'Cryings' BUT whether you want to make someone laugh or cry we'll have the right card'

Actually that last one may need a little 'finessing' as we say, but no matter - I'll put it in the 'Will This Do'? file.

Come on now, put your zinging caps on, let's show the non-creatives the spirit of Rob Petrie lives on in the SE22 postcode.

[BrandNewGuy]

SMBS - 'So Much Brilliant Stuff'

[Keef]

Favorite Chicken - 'When only dirty bird will do'

(tu)

[mockney piers]

The Vale - Happiness is a pub that used to be called Hamlet(Inn), although it used to be shit; mind you it still is.

Catchy huh?

[HonaloochieB]

mockney piers Wrote:

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> The Vale - Happiness is a pub that used to be

> called Hamlet(Inn), although it used to be shit;

> mind you it still is.

>

> Catchy huh?

I think maybe you have your zinging cap on backwards MP, this lacks oomph. It is oomphless.

Sorry old man, I'm going to have to put you back on the Zubes account.

[HonaloochieB]

BrandNewGuy Wrote:

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> SMBS - 'So Much Brilliant Stuff'

Now this is more like it (NB MP) - that jib of yours BNG, seems to be the right sort of cut for us here at HonaloochieBrand Global Communications Inc.

Consider yourself on the Damart Thermals team.

[RosieH]

White Stuff - 'If you're skinny - come inny'

No no no. "If you have no discernible sense of style, then this overpriced ugly shit probably won't offend".

[mockney piers]

The Vale, like a dusky arab maiden feeding you grapes, although you need to blow yourself up to get that, which is probably a better fate than drinking at the Vale let's face it.

Better?

[mockney piers]

btw, i was going to put that to a Kellogs Fruit and Fibre type jingle if that helps.

[Emerson Crane]

How about "EDT - The poncey wine bar that thinks it's a pub"

[mockney piers]

More accurately it should probablt be

"EDT, We don't know what to be."

[Emerson Crane]

mockney piers Wrote:

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> More accurately it should probablt be

>

> "EDT, We don't know what to be."

Fair play.

[Jah Lush]

You want Ale? Come to the Vale. Err... actually no. Go somewhere else. Anywhere but there.

[HonaloochieB]

RosieH Wrote:

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> White Stuff - 'If you're skinny - come inny'

>

>

>

> No no no. "If you have no discernible sense of

> style, then this overpriced ugly shit probably

> won't offend".

It's pithy RosieH and loaded with integrity but it'll be a bitch to pitch.

I'm going to get you to head up the Five Boys account.

Fry's are relaunching and they want to update the old Desperation, Pacification, Expectation, Acclamation, Realization schtick.

They've specifically requested 'oomph' and will have no truck with anything 'square'.

Think 'zing' RosieH.

[BrandNewGuy]

[upbeat poppy tune]

"Kebab and Wine, Kebab and Wine,

Four stitches and a Nurofen and you'll feel fine..."

[Jah Lush]

CPT Come an get Pissed Tonight.

The Bishop - don't bash it.

The Actress - I've had her I 'ave.

Adventure Bar - Where the young folk go to be sick.

Black Cherry - You know you want to.

The Palmerston - There's posh for you. (Take your prospective in-laws)

The Magnolia - We're still here.

The Plough - I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't

very happy.

[Keef]

Hizar - It's still dirty, but there's less guilt.

The Bishop - Looking for a great Friday night out? Come here whilst you think of something.

[HonaloochieB]

mockney piers Wrote:

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> The Vale, like a dusky arab maiden feeding you

> grapes, although you need to blow yourself up to

> get that, which is probably a better fate than

> drinking at the Vale let's face it.

>

> Better?

It's viralesque stuff MP, edgy and dramatic.

But lets blow it into chunks and see which one the badger molests.

Loving the dusky arab maiden; could be a good a good market to weasel into at the moment.

Grapes - associated with pubs as in 'The' - healthy, tasty etc. Any way we could get an implication they're organic in there? And of course there's the wine association for the ladies.

So that's fine loving your work up 'til then.

Then you drop the bomb, oh Mockney, Mockney, Monkey. I've looked at it every which way. I've tried to figure it twelve ways to Sunday, but there is no way to gussie it up.

So to summarise, dusky maidens - yes, grapes - yes, suicide bombing - I don't think the proprieters of the Vale are ready for something as conceptually extravagant as this. Good try though.

And it's not your fault MP, ahead of your time is what you are. File under 'When The World Catches Up With Me'

Table football?

[HonaloochieB]

Re: People who work in Advertising new

Posted by: Jah Lush Today, 02:12PM

CPT Come an get Pissed Tonight. - Loaded with pith, caked with oomph - Well done.

The Bishop - don't bash it. - Laddish, edgy, sure to get The Nuts crowd.

The Actress - I've had her I 'ave. - Perhaps a mite too niche.

Adventure Bar - Where the young folk go to be sick. - Loving this one JL - using the young 'uns vernacular to sucker them in - Good work.

Black Cherry - You know you want to. - A little Flake advert eroticism never hurt anyone.

The Palmerston - There's posh for you. (Take your prospective in-laws)- Loving the aptness.

The Magnolia - We're still here. - Loving the poignancy.

The Plough - I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't

very happy. - Loving the Tommy Cooperosity.

[HonaloochieB]

Posted by: Keef Today, 02:18PM

Hizar - It's still dirty, but there's less guilt. - Coded eroticism is the new black.

The Bishop - Looking for a great Friday night out? Come here whilst you think of something. - They'll eat this up with a spoon - self-depracation it's the new stand-up comedy

[Jah Lush]

The Clockhouse - Turn on, tune in, clock out.

The Castle - 'Ave it. The finest Guinness in East Dulwich.

Liqourice - Cocktails are us.

[????]

The Actress - I've had more fun in an Actress before B)

[HonaloochieB]

Re: People who work in Advertising new

Posted by: Jah Lush Today, 03:59PM

The Clockhouse - Turn on, tune in, clock out. - This is so going to capture the faux former drugster demographic - Fine work.

The Castle - 'Ave it. The finest Guinness in East Dulwich. - Could be on dodgy ground here JL - some nuisance is bound to claim different

Liqourice - Cocktails are us. - This reminds me of something else JL so it can't be used. Mind you it could also have something to do with the fact that I hate the b@stard place.

[HonaloochieB]

???? Wrote:

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> The Actress - I've had more fun in an Actress

> before B)

Quids this is an absolute stonker. But only if you include the emoticon. I've looked at it without and I find myself bathed in indifference.

[????]

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