aspidistra Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Yes, we are a national 'magazine', with some silly name, and we are so desperate for any kind of Real Life stories, apart from the usual botox and make-up and advertising clothes that are far too expensive... that we are now asking you for your Real Life Stories about your Daily Commute.Did you actually manage to get on your bus or train?How many armpits did you have to whiff?Who poked their case in your crotch?Did you get pick-pocketed? If so, give us the gory details.Was there a loathsome fat bloke fondling his balls while staring at your face? Really how difficult was it to avoid his unfathomable glare?How many kilos of bogey did you see transported from nose to mouth?Stuck in a tunnel?Stuck under the Thames?Do you ever actually get to work on time?What was the excuse for your train being late this morning? Wrong kind of pollution? Your driver high on crack? Your driver was on the wrong kind of crack?Were the wrong kind of drug dealers on you bus or train? (I'm thinking here particularly of the number 12)We can make money from your story!Send your stories to [email protected] Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 This is due to: A tunnel under the Thames blocked up with drivers on the wrong sort of crack. I am sorry for the delay this will cause to your journey. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417839 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HonaloochieB Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I remember last year on 17th March huge delays in the Camden/Kentish Town area because so many of the drivers were incapacitated by craic.Hope this helps. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417841 Share on other sites More sharing options...
aspidistra Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 Wot, Brendan, a whole train full of drivers on the wrong kind of crack? :) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417852 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 I am sorry to announce that your arrival at work will be delayed by approximately 46 minutes this is due to the wrong sort of crack in the space time continuum. I am sorry for the delay this will cause to your journey. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417854 Share on other sites More sharing options...
copleston_charlie Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 My commute hell! I met a woman on the platform at East Dulwich station, we started chatting, and by South Bermondsey, well, one thing led to another and before we knew it we were making mad, passionate love in front of a carriage full of shocked commuters! But we couldn't stop ourselves! I later found out this woman was my mum!! And she deals crack! And drives trains! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417870 Share on other sites More sharing options...
aspidistra Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 Charlie, have you called the News of the S****? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417871 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Curtain Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 One day, well actually one morning in Brighton I boarded the early train to Littlehampton. After a little while I slowly drifted off in a near comatose state, so imagine my suprise when I woke up & found I'd had actually arrived in Portsmouth.So, again I boarded the train next train back bound for L.A. ( Litte'ampton ) and promptly passed out again. I eventually came too as we pulled into Brighton.It was quite a journey, in fact the whole thing was life enhancing .( mind you, the night before I had been ripped to the tits on LSD.)Is this the kind of story you're looking for aspidistra ?N(?) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417889 Share on other sites More sharing options...
aspidistra Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 Nette, I think that story may be of more interest to dear 'Holly', though only if you'd learnt advanced Estonian between Rustington and Worthing. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417932 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Curtain Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 aspidistra Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Nette, I think that story may be of more interest> to dear 'Holly', though only if you'd learnt> advanced Estonian between Rustington and Worthing.Advanced Estonian, is that like Reverse Cowgirl ?Sounds fun.N:-$ Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-417974 Share on other sites More sharing options...
huncamunca Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Does anyone on here actually read these execrable shitmags that you openly & shamelessly tout for ? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-418011 Share on other sites More sharing options...
aspidistra Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 hm, have you had a sense of humour bypass?If so, perhaps check out 'Holly' @She Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-418031 Share on other sites More sharing options...
derbyean Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Does anyone on here actually read these execrable shitmags that you openly & shamelessly tout for ?Come on huncamunca tell it straight, don't wrap it up, stick it to 'em good. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-418208 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms_Lilith Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Brilliant thread Aspidistra :)-D Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-418212 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Curtain Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Ms_Lilith Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Brilliant thread Aspidistra :)-DIndeed...Oh, if only DaftRag were real ( I'd buy it for sure, along with the guardian O.C. )N:) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-418271 Share on other sites More sharing options...
aspidistra Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 SHE SMOKE-N THA WRONG KIND OF CRACK, BECOUSE HER AZZ IS "FAT"Woman on crack binge fakes her own $200 kidnappinghttp://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/news/specials/weirdflorida/blog/2009/11/_rports_naples_daily_news.html Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/#findComment-418465 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now