Your commuting hell stories

[aspidistra]

Yes, we are a national 'magazine', with some silly name, and we are so desperate for any kind of Real Life stories, apart from the usual botox and make-up and advertising clothes that are far too expensive... that we are now asking you for your Real Life Stories about your Daily Commute.

Did you actually manage to get on your bus or train?

How many armpits did you have to whiff?

Who poked their case in your crotch?

Did you get pick-pocketed? If so, give us the gory details.

Was there a loathsome fat bloke fondling his balls while staring at your face? Really how difficult was it to avoid his unfathomable glare?

How many kilos of bogey did you see transported from nose to mouth?

Stuck in a tunnel?

Stuck under the Thames?

Do you ever actually get to work on time?

What was the excuse for your train being late this morning? Wrong kind of pollution? Your driver high on crack? Your driver was on the wrong kind of crack?

Were the wrong kind of drug dealers on you bus or train? (I'm thinking here particularly of the number 12)

We can make money from your story!

Send your stories to [email protected]

[Brendan]

This is due to: A tunnel under the Thames blocked up with drivers on the wrong sort of crack. I am sorry for the delay this will cause to your journey.

[HonaloochieB]

I remember last year on 17th March huge delays in the Camden/Kentish Town area because so many of the drivers were incapacitated by craic.

Hope this helps.

[aspidistra]

Wot, Brendan, a whole train full of drivers on the wrong kind of crack? :)

[Brendan]

I am sorry to announce that your arrival at work will be delayed by approximately 46 minutes this is due to the wrong sort of crack in the space time continuum. I am sorry for the delay this will cause to your journey.

[copleston_charlie]

My commute hell! I met a woman on the platform at East Dulwich station, we started chatting, and by South Bermondsey, well, one thing led to another and before we knew it we were making mad, passionate love in front of a carriage full of shocked commuters! But we couldn't stop ourselves! I later found out this woman was my mum!! And she deals crack! And drives trains!

[aspidistra]

Charlie, have you called the News of the S****?

[Annette Curtain]

One day, well actually one morning in Brighton I boarded the early train to Littlehampton. After a little while I slowly drifted off in a near comatose state, so imagine my suprise when I woke up & found I'd had actually arrived in Portsmouth.

So, again I boarded the train next train back bound for L.A. ( Litte'ampton ) and promptly passed out again. I eventually came too as we pulled into Brighton.

It was quite a journey, in fact the whole thing was life enhancing .

( mind you, the night before I had been ripped to the tits on LSD.)

Is this the kind of story you're looking for aspidistra ?

N(?)

[aspidistra]

Nette, I think that story may be of more interest to dear 'Holly', though only if you'd learnt advanced Estonian between Rustington and Worthing.

[Annette Curtain]

aspidistra Wrote:

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> Nette, I think that story may be of more interest

> to dear 'Holly', though only if you'd learnt

> advanced Estonian between Rustington and Worthing.

Advanced Estonian, is that like Reverse Cowgirl ?

Sounds fun.

N:-$

[huncamunca]

Does anyone on here actually read these execrable shitmags that you openly & shamelessly tout for ?

[aspidistra]

hm, have you had a sense of humour bypass?

If so, perhaps check out 'Holly' @She

[derbyean]

Does anyone on here actually read these execrable shitmags that you openly & shamelessly tout for ?

Come on huncamunca tell it straight, don't wrap it up, stick it to 'em good.

[Ms_Lilith]

Brilliant thread Aspidistra :)-D

[Annette Curtain]

Ms_Lilith Wrote:

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> Brilliant thread Aspidistra :)-D

Indeed...

Oh, if only DaftRag were real ( I'd buy it for sure, along with the guardian O.C. )

N:)

[aspidistra]

SHE SMOKE-N THA WRONG KIND OF CRACK, BECOUSE HER AZZ IS "FAT"

Woman on crack binge fakes her own $200 kidnapping

http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/news/specials/weirdflorida/blog/2009/11/_rports_naples_daily_news.html