Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Yes, we are a national 'magazine', with some silly name, and we are so desperate for any kind of Real Life stories, apart from the usual botox and make-up and advertising clothes that are far too expensive... that we are now asking you for your Real Life Stories about your Daily Commute.


Did you actually manage to get on your bus or train?

How many armpits did you have to whiff?

Who poked their case in your crotch?

Did you get pick-pocketed? If so, give us the gory details.

Was there a loathsome fat bloke fondling his balls while staring at your face? Really how difficult was it to avoid his unfathomable glare?

How many kilos of bogey did you see transported from nose to mouth?

Stuck in a tunnel?

Stuck under the Thames?

Do you ever actually get to work on time?

What was the excuse for your train being late this morning? Wrong kind of pollution? Your driver high on crack? Your driver was on the wrong kind of crack?

Were the wrong kind of drug dealers on you bus or train? (I'm thinking here particularly of the number 12)


We can make money from your story!


Send your stories to [email protected]

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/16166-your-commuting-hell-stories/
Share on other sites

My commute hell! I met a woman on the platform at East Dulwich station, we started chatting, and by South Bermondsey, well, one thing led to another and before we knew it we were making mad, passionate love in front of a carriage full of shocked commuters! But we couldn't stop ourselves! I later found out this woman was my mum!! And she deals crack! And drives trains!

One day, well actually one morning in Brighton I boarded the early train to Littlehampton. After a little while I slowly drifted off in a near comatose state, so imagine my suprise when I woke up & found I'd had actually arrived in Portsmouth.

So, again I boarded the train next train back bound for L.A. ( Litte'ampton ) and promptly passed out again. I eventually came too as we pulled into Brighton.


It was quite a journey, in fact the whole thing was life enhancing .


( mind you, the night before I had been ripped to the tits on LSD.)



Is this the kind of story you're looking for aspidistra ?


N(?)

aspidistra Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Nette, I think that story may be of more interest

> to dear 'Holly', though only if you'd learnt

> advanced Estonian between Rustington and Worthing.



Advanced Estonian, is that like Reverse Cowgirl ?


Sounds fun.


N:-$

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • I've never got Christmas pudding. The only times I've managed to make it vaguely acceptable to people is thus: Buy a really tiny one when it's remaindered in Tesco's. They confound carbon dating, so the yellow labelled stuff at 75% off on Boxing Day will keep you going for years. Chop it up and soak it in Stones Ginger Wine and left over Scotch. Mix it in with a decent vanilla ice cream. It's like a festive Rum 'n' Raisin. Or: Stick a couple in a demijohn of Aldi vodka and serve it to guests, accompanied by 'The Party's Over' by Johnny Mathis when people simply won't leave your flat.
    • Not miserable at all! I feel the same and also want to complain to the council but not sure who or where best to aim it at? I have flagged it with our local MP and one Southwark councillor previously but only verbally when discussing other things and didn’t get anywhere other than them agreeing it was very frustrating etc. but would love to do something on paper. I think they’ve been pretty much every night for the last couple of weeks and my cat is hating it! As am I !
    • That is also a Young's pub, like The Cherry Tree. However fantastic the menu looks, you might want to ask exactly who will cook the food on the day, and how. Also, if  there is Christmas pudding on the menu, you might want to ask how that will be cooked, and whether it will look and/or taste anything like the Christmas puddings you have had in the past.
    • This reminds me of a situation a few years ago when a mate's Dad was coming down and fancied Franklin's for Christmas Day. He'd been there once, in September, and loved it. Obviously, they're far too tuned in to do it, so having looked around, £100 per head was pretty standard for fairly average pubs around here. That is ridiculous. I'd go with Penguin's idea; one of the best Christmas Day lunches I've ever had was at the Lahore Kebab House in Whitechapel. And it was BYO. After a couple of Guinness outside Franklin's, we decided £100 for four people was the absolute maximum, but it had to be done in the style of Franklin's and sourced within walking distance of The Gowlett. All the supermarkets knock themselves out on veg as a loss leader - particularly anything festive - and the Afghani lads on Rye Lane are brilliant for more esoteric stuff and spices, so it really doesn't need to be pricey. Here's what we came up with. It was considerably less than £100 for four. Bread & Butter (Lidl & Lurpak on offer at Iceland) Mersea Oysters (Sopers) Parsnip & Potato Soup ( I think they were both less than 20 pence a kilo at Morrisons) Smoked mackerel, Jerseys, watercress & radish (Sopers) Rolled turkey breast joint (£7.95 from Iceland) Roast Duck (two for £12 at Lidl) Mash  Carrots, star anise, butter emulsion. Stir-fried Brussels, bacon, chestnuts and Worcestershire sauce.(Lidl) Clementine and limoncello granita (all from Lidl) Stollen (Lidl) Stichelton, Cornish Cruncher, Stinking Bishop. (Marks & Sparks) There was a couple of lessons to learn: Don't freeze mash. It breaks down the cellular structure and ends up more like a French pomme purée. I renamed it 'Pomme Mikael Silvestre' after my favourite French centre-half cum left back and got away with it, but if you're not amongst football fans you may not be so lucky. Tasted great, looked like shit. Don't take the clementine granita out of the freezer too early, particularly if you've overdone it on the limoncello. It melts quickly and someone will suggest snorting it. The sugar really sticks your nostrils together on Boxing Day. Speaking of 'lost' Christmases past, John Lewis have hijacked Alison Limerick's 'Where Love Lives' for their new advert. Bastards. But not a bad ad.   Beansprout, I have a massive steel pot I bought from a Nigerian place on Choumert Road many years ago. It could do with a work out. I'm quite prepared to make a huge, spicy parsnip soup for anyone who fancies it and a few carols.  
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...