Toilet trained but won't poo in loo - advice please

[kemurf]

Your advice please, especially if this has happened to you.

My nearly 3 year old has been using the toilet since December but will not poo on the loo - she wants a nappy. She will only poo at home so waits all day at nursery, until we get home and then wants asks to do a poo in a nappy. If we say no to a nappy, she holds on, sometimes for days - she once did not go for 6 days. She uses a nappy at night so usually waits until this is on her before she does it. She always tells us before she does it so we know.

And then there is the build up - moaning, being uncomfortable, wanting to sleep before she actually gets the nappy on.

She has pooed on the toilet a handful of times - ie when she has been caught short at nanny's or a friend's house, and she was so pleased with herself. But even with loads of praise, treats, bribery, star charts - she went back to nappies.

So having used different tactics to encourage her to use the toilet, I'm now just waiting for her to ask for the nappy and then putting it on her with no questions, instead of having the whole 'let's try the toilet' etc.

What did you do, if this happened to you?

I'm not too bothered by it now, just curious to know how long this might last and when it might stop!!

[candj]

My eldest was like this. Potty training was easy except she had to get a nappy on to have a poo. We just gave her time and like you did lots of praise and star charts. My husband was the one who would sit her in the loo as he's a bit more firm. We kept telling her she's a big girl and every one poos in the toilet. Also we used one of those little toilet seats that sit on top of the loo and I used to put a small stepping stool under her feet as I wondered if it was somehow uncomfortable to have her legs dangling. They get there eventually and sounds like you're doi g the right thing with the praise.

Good luck to your little one!

[susyp]

My daughter was like this (is also nearly three) and I think it's only been in the last month that she is happy to use the loo. I think in the end my Mum said she was old enough (after a bout of diarrohea at my Mum's where she had to use the loo!) and I was just very firm in persuading her. Initially I had to sit on the floor next to her then I had enough of that and now she does it with the door shut -takes ages and ages though. We do still have mishaps. She did it in the bath the other day - scared the life out of her to be followed around the bath by a big poo though so I don;t think she;ll be doing it again. I was worried we would never get there - she would only do it in her nappy with herself wrapped in a curtain. She never did it in a potty. I think in the end what really worked was telling her it would make a great PLOP sound.

Susypx

[EDmummy]

Like others say, relax. It is incredibly common. DS1 wouldn't poo in the toilet until about 3 1/2 - had been dry at night from 2 yrs! We just allowed him to put on a nappy when he wanted to poo so he didn't hold it in and feel uncomfortable and stressed. We eventually broke through by developing a poo time song borrowed from a friend about sending his poo off to the 'poo party'. Made him giggle and relaxed him completely.

[Jacks50]

We had the same problem with DS1, and as everyone else said, we just gave him time and a bit of encouragement, but not pushy, as this made it worse.

Might be worth getting her to sit on the loo but with the nappy on when she needs a poo. then after a while try and talk to her about taking it off. I've heard this can work although we didn't try it.

Goof luck! Hope she gets the hang of it soon but defiantly don't stress about it, she'll get used to it in her own time.

[kemurf]

Thanks to everyone for the advice. I will try to RELAX about it!!!!! And in time get her to sit on the loo with the nappy on.

I like the idea of a poo song too.

Off to change her now (urrrghhh!)

[scotch]

Exactly the same with my son ! We moved house and told him the nappy fairy took his nappies away and left a present for him ! It did the trick ! He was 4 when he finally used the toilet properly. Initially he stood up and pood over the potty and then the toilet came next ! Good luck to you !!!!

[Smiler]

At least the poos are in nappies and not pants (our problem!). There is a good nhs pamphlet aimed at kids on the net called mr poo goes to pooland! Also masses of threads on mumsnet.

[charlottep]

6 months into potty training and my boy still won't do a poo anywhere other than in his nappy. I had heard good things about the mr poo goes to pooland story but couldn't find it anywhere until just recently. In case anyone else wants to get hold of it the following link should work:

http://www.kingsizepeople.co.uk/Blog/poo-goes-home-to-poo-land.html

We're going to try the story from tonight. Fingers crossed it works.

Good luck everyone, I've found it very reassuring to see that this is a fairly common thing.

[susyp]

We started potty training in July and probably didn;t get the wee thing really sorted til just before christmas - and poo thing sorted maybe last month! should have waited til she was 21/2 i think (christmas).

susypx

[kemurf]

THanks so much for this - will definitely try it!

[leta]

hi

My boy will wait for the night to come so i can put the nappy on him,then the poo came.

his potty trained from 2 yrs but poo ...o my dear.

i stop putting the nappy on him and leave him to sleap without.I was surprise that he would not do it on the bed as well.So after couple of days he run to the toilet to do...the poo.

Wish you all the best,i know how hard is but in time the more they grow the more aware are.

Regards