Tips on preserving my sanity

[Vickster]

I have a 13 week old who still wakes twice in the night. While I appreciate this is quite normal, it is a bit of a shock to the system as my first child slept through from 8 weeks.

My main issue is that she is hardly sleeping in the day either, so the 'sleep when they sleep' philosophy is not working for me, particularly with a toddler.

I usually get half an hour in the morning and an hour at lunch if I am lucky. She is exclusively breastfed on demand, so I don't think hunger is an issue. She gets plenty of stimulation, fresh air and attention. She hates the mini gym, baby Bjorn, sling, car seat and buggy. She only is really content when being held upright as she loves being upright and pushing up on her legs.

This is all proving extremely wearing and I get little if anything done during the day. Any thoughts or am I just expecting too much and making a fuss about nothing? I had hoped after 12 weeks I might have started to see an improvement.

[Ruth_Baldock]

"She only is really content when being held upright as she loves being upright and pushing up on her legs."

How is her head control? If it's good, may I suggest a door bouncer?

[Vickster]

Her head control is great, and I had thought of the door bouncer, but I thought she was still a bit little?

[Ruth_Baldock]

Well, I'm not parent of the year, but Seb's head control was always really good. We tried him in it quite early on, and he liked it, so we started putting him in it for short amounts of time. We also put him in his bouncy chair, with things at his feet (cushions etc) that he could kick about and 'jump' from, if that makes sense? All of this was done with him securely strapped in. He was the same, always wanted to be held upright, pushing on his legs and 'jumping'.

[Vickster]

Right then, will dig out the door bouncer and let you know how I get on!

[pebbles]

I've got a "piano" that I put at bottom of where babies were lying so they could kick it and make noise - they were the same always wanting to stand. Let me check I haven't given it away already but if not u r very welcome to have it.

[Vickster]

That sounds fab, and would be very much appreciated if you still have it!

[crystal7]

My sympathy Vickster, my daughter was the same. I've heard great things about the jumperoo but my OH wasn't keen- too big and plastic. E used to like the bumbo from 4ish months, I used to put it on the kitchen table etc which I know is naughty but I was always close by.

[bluesuperted]

Jumperoo is hideous but great, my LO has used it from 4 months to now - although he's much more interested in moving now he can crawl/pull up. And more flexible than a door bouncer (providing you have the space, big old footprint!)

Edited to add, he's nearly 9 months old now.

[Vickster]

I do actually have a jumperoo (agree is hideous) from last time, but again had thought she was too small. Might dust that off as well tomorrow!

[Fuschia]

I think 13w is too small for a jumperoo

My baby is 5m and still too small IMO

Is she happy? dOES SHE WANT to eb upright ebcause she has reflux or is she just very active?

IME it takes till 4-5m till daytime naps fall into a pattern and lengthen, though you could help it by taking a walk at the time of day you want to encourage her

[bluesuperted]

I think the jumperoo depends on your baby's size and head control. My baby was huge/long at 4 months and had strong head control from birth it seemed so he was fine for short bursts, didn't even need a cushion underneath as his legs were long enough. He looked quite bemused the first few times though, he started to enjoy it at more like 5 months.

[buggie]

Bugglet was in her jumperoo from approx 14wks old, even though she was below the 0.4th centile - she had amazing head control and was again keen on standing/bored with playgym. She'd only go in for 5-10mins at a time, but absolutely loved it and still does now (7.5mths). Infact, she went in it today and I thought she was going to take off as she got so excited with arms and legs all going!!

[KateW]

The jumperoo is by far the best thing we've bought for our daughter. She LOVES it!

[supergolden88]

I have one of those activity stations handed down from a friend. It is big and ugly but keeps baby entertained for short bursts (5-10m or longer). Plus it's safe to leave him in there for couple of minutes to make tea or go to the loo!

like this one

leapfrog

But I think your baby will start being happier in playgym, pushchair etc as she grows. My son screamed bloody murder when he went in his pushchair or car seat at first. He literally would scream till he choked in the bugaboo. He is ok now unless really tired and cranky. The sling has been a lifesaver - would not be able to cook, do laundry etc without it!

By far the best entertainment for my baby is his sister - she is nearly five so able to distract him quite nicely for a bit.

[pebbles]

I've found the piano

Will pm u

[new mother]

Formula? The heavier feed might help with at least one of the wake ups?

[Vickster]

Thanks all for all the helpful suggestions.

Fuschia, having looked up the symptoms, I think she might have reflux as she is very sicky, but she is not upset by it.

She went in the door bouncer this morning for 10 minutes while I had my breakfast and seemed to like it. Slight issue with the 3 year old wanting to spin and bounce her though so will have to watch that!

Not keen to give formula top ups quite yet, and I would be a little concerned that getting her used to a heavier feed with more calories during the night might cause longer term problems than any benefit it may bring. Will see how desperate I get though!

[Ruth_Baldock]

I think it's a slight myth that giving a bottle of formula at night helps baby sleep longer stretches; didn't work for me or anyone I know, and mixed feeding just made wind even worse.

[new mother]

Ruth poor you :-(

Actually, maybe the key was that we didn't mix feed. We used special bottles each time and the girls slept from 11 to 7 at around eight weeks and for 12 hours Plus a few weeks later.I take my hat off to anyone who can go for longer than two months with broken sleep- I need my sleep and without a decent stretch am completely unable to function. The calorie thing didn't worry me at all as all my family are thin so it didn't cross my mindthat my children might end up otherwise or dependent on high calorific intake late at night.

Hope it gets sorted out V.

[Vickster]

Sorry, didn't make myself very clear. I am not concerned about calories in terms of weight gsin, more that the baby gets used to heavy filling meals in the night when that should ideally take place in the day.

[new mother]

Yes I understood that - per message.

How about lots of fresh air and walks? Sounds basic but it does tire out even a lying down baby somehow...

[nunheadmum]

Do the sleep times suit her? With my second, I found that the lunchtime nap never worked for her until she was much older. I ended up with a mid morning (10-ish) and then mid afternoon (2.30-ish) for quite a while. Not ideal with a toddler, I know, if they still have a lunchtime nap but I just had to work around it.

Also my second ended up being fed on demand (fell into it rather than having planned it) till around 3-4months when, due to bad day and night sleeping, I tried to move her onto more of a routine and she resultingly started taking bigger feeds and sleeping better in the day. But if your LO has reflux then she may not be able to deal with bigger feeds.

[shaunag]

Hi Vickster

Think I met you at winter babies club. My little one was the exact same and she has reflux - it is exhausting. She only started demonstrating pain symptoms at about 14 weeks. Will you be meeting up tomorrow, in which case will chat about it, otherwise pm me and can meet up anytime.

xx