Social Faux Pas in ED - the definitive list

[huncamunca]

"Actually, Henry isnt that bright, we've just been hothousing with a private tutor each night"

" Yes, but Sevenoaks? - I kow the schools maybe good, but its such a smug shithole full of vapid wankers"

" You know what, I do actually prefer Lidl mince to that stuff you queue up for every saturday morning"

" The Mayan basement bar - mmmmmmmmm sounds classy, exotic and rather wonderful"

" Whitstable? - for fucks sake - show some originality"

" Catholic ? How long have you been a regular church going catholic for ? you sure you are not doing this for the school place ?"

Any more ?

[maxxi]

"Why oh why can't we have a Waitrose in LL?"

"Move that #@*?ing pushchair out of my way"

"And he thought Montessori was in Liguria! Scream."

"No, no, I actually prefer the urban feel of East Dulwich to the reserve of the village. It's edgier."

"Of course everything William Rose sells is 100% organic"

"Oooooh look, fairy cakes!"

[huncamunca]

"I am sick to the fucking back teeth with child friendly festivals, fucking MoR landfill indie elevator music and rain sodden glamping - lets fuck off to Antigua next year and get ripped to the gills on weed and rum each night"

[Loz]

"I'll tell you what - Iceland sells some rather nice stuff".

"East Dulwich is SE22 and SE22 is East Dulwich. Anywhere else is not".

"Adventure Bar do some nice cocktails".

[Atticus]

'Yeh, we've booked a table for some lunch, thankfully The Vale managed to squeeze us in!'

[huncamunca]

"...its only a cat - if it doesnt come back,then maybe we ought to think very seriously about the moral and ethical issues of bringing another cat into the house & more importantly into the area, seeing as we are not here that much and may not be able to look after it properly & it will likely cause the neighbours no end of trouble, as well as decimate the already strugglingf buird population"

[huncamunca]

"Its not the school itself that concerns me, its just there are not enough white middle classes amongst the parents"

[SimonM]

"Of course the dogshit on the pavements does teach the kids to look where they're going..."

[mockney piers]

Of course I miss Clapham like billio, the people here just aren't of the same calibre or social standing.

[mockney piers]

...mind you, I end up buying the same stuff for half the price in Mothercare or Toys'R'Us on the Old Kent Road.

[huncamunca]

"Do I mind a bit of blue note Jazz ? I would prefer if you didnt put any on,its awful shite... got any Rainbow ?"

[Jeremy]

"We live in Peckham - not East Dulwich, not 'Bellenden Village'... Peckham".

[huncamunca]

" ...no, being made redundant isnt that bad, Now the Mrs is back in the city after her maternity leave, I drop the toddler off at nursery each morning and spend the rest of the day watching Kyle and sleeping ( and tugging myself off furiously )"

[mockney piers]

Ooh, no need to target them!!!

[maxxi]

"Oh I love it when new people move in to the area"

"Of course I believe in disciplining children. You can't just let them run amok in the streets"

"I wouldn't have bought anything in there but it IS a charity shop..."

"Don't be silly, there AREN'T any council tenants in East Dulwich"

"A new coffee shop would be nice"

[huncamunca]

" Seriously ? After slipping on the wet mosiac tiles outside whuilst rtying to avoid badly parked buggies & nearly breaking my neck, I waited 55 minutes for what could have been a cup of mellow birds, some Chorizo that tasted like the lidl stuff I usually buy and a cold 1 egg omlette that wasnt cooked in the middle. ?12.50 for brunch! Im off to McDonalds on Rye lane next time for a bi breakfast - at least their coffee is decent"

[david_carnell]

Hmmm....this artisan sourdough seems a bit pricey. Do you have any sliced white?

[huncamunca]

" Fuckin hell, more creatives moving into the street, isnt there a council limit on these people coming here?"

[Otta]

To be honest, when I go out to the pub, I dont really want to sit down and eat a fucking meal.

[Guest]

"Pilates? No, I just walk everywhere."

"I can't be ar*ed with making real coffee."

"We haven't got enough money to buy a place of our own so we're renting."

"You called your child WHAT? That's so pretentious."

[silverfox]

Where can I buy a Gollywog in ED?

[MrBen]

Cameron's surprised me, he's making huge and positive gains in addressing our public finances....

Do you sell Trout and Salmon magazine?

We liked it here when we were starting out but with the crime, noise and squashed overpriced terraces, we've decided to move to a quiet leafy street near Dulwich Village.

[silverfox]

AV is so yesterday darling

[huncamunca]

"Honestly, I never wanted to leave Clapham, it was a pragmatic decision to move here"

[huncamunca]

"My word - I heve never met anyone who has actually bought those baby genius DVD's"