Mad boring meetings and I think I had too much coffee today

[Azul]

.

Do you remember that cokehead from trainspoting?

the one on the job interview.

I think I may had been behaving just like him,

doesn't look good.

[Ondine]

you work in my office don't you?

[Keef]

Ondine, are you a fit redhead?

[Brendan]

I?m too hungover to even drink coffee this morning.

In 30 minutes I have my annual performance appraisal bollocks thing with the boss. I am trying to fill out a form for it that is full of words like, ?stakeholder?, ?feasibility? and ?proactive?.

In theory I know this stuff is English and I am pretty sure I know how to read but all it is saying to me is, ?bullshit, bullshit, bullshit bullshit bullshit ?

[mockney piers]

That's a futureheads lyric, wrong thread.

[and i know exactly what you mean]

[Floating Onion]

Unfortunately they're rearranging my office starting this afternoon. Means that we all have to head to the pub now.

[Ondine]

I may be that fit redhead or possibly Brendan's boss. Lots of proactive stakeholders in my world too

[dulwichmum]

I hate all of that jargonistic rubbish. It is just an exercise in humiliation if you ask me. They have already decided what they think before you even begin.

[Brendan]

Ondine Wrote:

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> I may be that fit redhead or possibly Brendan's

> boss.

Well if you are my boss. Cheers for the raise mate! Just goes to show that severe slacking punctuated by brief moments of genius can pay off.

Or should that be phrased as ?The strategic display of positive competencies which are congruous with the greater business plan and forward thinking strategy of the organisation??

[Brendan]

So I just got back to my desk after a meeting. The office is completely empty and silent except for an unanswered phone bleating out a ring at regular intervals.

There is a solitary pink post-it note stuck on my monitor which reads ?Mark Twain called. Pls call back.?

I feel like I?m in the opening scene of an episode of the twilight zone.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Maybe Mark wants to borrow a tin of elbow grease?

[Brendan]

I would like to know where I am supposed to find his phone number. Wikipedia perhaps?

[mockney piers]

Of course Mark Twain was a pseudonym, perhaps it was really ..err.. George Orwell? ;)

[Floating Onion]

mockney piers Wrote:

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> Of course Mark Twain was a pseudonym

Which continuing from an earlier thread of inane trivia is thought to be from the pratice of taking depth soundings with a lead line.

Thankfully I've only had one meeting this week. Yay!!

[Brendan]

mockney piers Wrote:

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> Of course Mark Twain was a pseudonym, perhaps it

> was really ..err.. George Orwell? ;)

Perhaps he is researching for a book that tracks the adventures of a sprightly orphan on the Mississippi. The narrative is told using the medium of personal data collected from credit card payments for large quantities of white wash, river-raft tickets and his aunt?s child benefit applications.