Whinge free Monday - please tell my baby!

[mima08]

I am looking for help from any child psychologists, professional childcarers and especially mums! My normally very good natured 6 months old has been turning into a major whinger. It has by been slowly creeping up on us but by now, he could win gold medals. Over the last 5 days or so, he would whinge almost non-stop when ever I don't pay 100% attention and carry him around (it has to be both!). I don't think it is separation anxiety - because he is happy as long as someone is doing the attention and carrying - me, his dad, siblings, friends he has never met before, healthvisitor, anyone as long they are focused on him. He will whinge when put down, sat in a bumbo chair or in his highchair. Tummy time has almost disappeared as whinging turns into screaming very quickly and previous attempts at rolling and crawling have just vanished.

My questions is: am I feeding this behaviour by constantly picking him up? Should I leave him to whinge (hard on the sleep deprived nerves - he has also gone back to feeding at night, which is a whole other whinge, aaah, I mean story...) I am worried about "spoiling" him, but at the same time I thought 6 months is too young for that? Should I just keep carrying him, and hope this is just a phase? What are others doing? Or is mine the only baby to behave like this? And how much "stimulation" does a baby need? Because, although we do activities plus things such as reading, singing, playing, of course I constantly fear I am not doing good enough a job at this....

Helpfully, a piece on the radio stated that boys with his first name are among those most likely to be spoilt.... [Yes, I know this is silly, but did I mention the sleep deprived nerves?]

Thanks for any tips!

[cuppa tea]

I don't think it's possible to 'spoil' a 6 months old baby. You're responding to his needs. I wouldn't question it. He is communicating with you and you are sorting it out for him. This level of high need he's asking for won't last. Perhaps he's about to go through a new development stage and needs more security than usual. I remember my first child becoming very needy before he sat up, crawled or walked. As soon as he could do any of these major physical things he was very happy about it. I guess he could also have some teeth due and it's causing him to be clingier than usual? It could also partially be personality. I haven't noticed any high need behaviour with my second child and I've done the same things with both more or less. They are just all different, though I would imagine most babies go through needy stages....how can you be a baby and not be needy?

You can give a baby too much stimulation. If he's a sensitive one he may need less activities and liveliness and not necessarily more. You could experiment with more calming things like water play/baths, massage, tactile play etc.

If I could have the time again I would spend ALOT less time worrying about what I was doing wrong and enjoy the time with my baby more...in the moment.

[Saffron]

You're not spoiling him. You're right, he's too young to spoil. You're giving him the love and attention he needs for his current development. Whatever it is that has him grumbling is only a phase.

Do you have the Wonder Weeks book? It's very helpful regarding developmental leaps and the upsets they cause. I'm happy to loan you my copy. Constant grumbling could also be teething, even if you don't actually see any teeth coming.

This sounds like pretty normal behaviour, but if it doesn't let up in a week, think about seeing your GP. It could be something you can't see causing Baby stress, for example an earache.

Try using a sling, a rocking chair, or a bath together as a way to soothe your whingy little fellow.

Hope you're both feeling better soon!

xx

[srisky]

Sorry, no tips but if it's any consolation, my 6 month old daughter is going through EXACTLY the same thing. It's as if she metamorphosed Kevin & Perry style on the day she turned 6 months...sigh :(

[bumpy]

So agree with cuppatea & saffron. If I'm lucky enough to have a 2nd one I will spend less time worrying about 'spoiling' and 'routines' and more time cuddling, carrying and co-sleeping..! :)

[mrs f]

23-26 weeks is a big 'wonder week' so it's probably just you baby getting to grips with the big mental development they are going thrOugh... We are just getting through the 19 week one & agree lots of cuddles & attention are needed. They will pass through it soon enough :-)

[mima08]

Thank you all for your comments, it is very reassuring. I did not think I was spoiling him - but you get comments etc and then start to doubt yourself....He has so for not been a very sensitive one - generally really cheerful and loves exploring the world, which is why this is such a change. I am interested in the wonder week idea - I have read previously on the website and, now that I remember, it was really helpful about 6-7 weeks ago when he had some hysterics for no reason....(also, it helps seeing this kind of change as a precusor to development steps, makes it so positive!)

I will see the GP if it continues after for the week, just to rule any underlying issues out.

Srisky - you have my sympathy, maybe some of the comments on this thread help you as well - and let me know if you want to put Kevin with Perry ;-)

To end on a high note: after his afternoon sleep, he tried to blow rasberries on my arm & shoulder as I always do on his arms & tummy, and then looked at me with the biggest smile - yep, definitely need to try to live more in the moment :)

[cuppa tea]

mima08 Wrote:

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> I did not think I was spoiling him -

> but you get comments etc and then start to doubt

> yourself....

I am still learning the hard way that voicing my worries to the wrong person leads to lots of unwanted advice!

[srisky]

mima08 Wrote:

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> Srisky - you have my sympathy, maybe some of the

> comments on this thread help you as well - and let

> me know if you want to put Kevin with Perry ;-)

Ha ha! :)) I hope your little boy gets back to his old self soon. If I stumble upon the answer to our woes I will let you know!

[snowboarder]

I'm blaming the heat for my 5 and a bit month old's grumpiness....and he seems to want to chase his big brother, which makes him cross....it is just TOO hot!