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*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> My dear old Grandfather taught me this sweet rhyme

> to help me remember the rules on this one.

>

> After a bath, but before a poo

> You can forgo the y-fronts; just long johns will

> do

> But if you've laid cable but not washed your ass

> You'd best wear your pants, lest a streak comes to

> pass



Well thank you *Bob*


That kinda confirms my thoughts


I believe in a clean fresh pair of "Johns" each day, as you would with undies


However, if worn more as thermal-leggings-all-week , then a further skid-proofing layer would be advisable.



NETTE:)

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Back to long johns for a minute.....


Presumably your problem lies in insufficiently warm trousers in the first place. Perhaps something like these in a nice thick wool or tweed would solve the problem of cold kidneys. I own a pair and can report not only are they toasty warm but attract many an admiring glance on Rye Lane.


Then normal pants will suffice.

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If travelling to picturesque cottages in that-there-countryside is on the holiday agenda then an outside cludgie is a frightening but distinct possibility and our old friend the drop seat (or back-flap in common parl.) can be a lifesaver.

http://www.vintageskivvies.com/art/archives/adgallery/1910s/1919/1919imperial01ad.jpg

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Ridgley Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> In the West Indian culture you do not I repeat do

> not cook a Chicken and offer us the Parson nose

> very offensive!!!


OKAY


I'll bear that in mind.


Though I personally love the "Parson's nose"


Oh, and the slimy dark-meat oysters underneath the bird. Where does West Indian culture stand on those.


NETTE(?)

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david_carnell Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Back to long johns for a minute.....

>

> Presumably your problem lies in insufficiently

> warm trousers in the first place. Perhaps

> something like these in a nice thick wool or tweed

> would solve the problem of cold kidneys. I own a

> pair and can report not only are they toasty warm

> but attract many an admiring glance on Rye Lane.

>

> Then normal pants will suffice.



d_c


I'm sure they suit your lofty stature.


But i'm not sure i'd get away with something so "manly" as it were.


I do have my eye on a pair of these though. Teamed up with a really slaggy pair of stilettos & plenty of toe cleavage.


Thought they might be perfect for the "Glorious 18th"



NETTE:-S

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I know moos


Sozza.


But a pair of beige "Cordings" trousers, no less.


Actually, I was baiting d_c but he wasn't rising to it. Meh.


As for the bus, well I just don't know. It's a jungle all of its own.


Generally, I get quite furious at a guffer on the bus and move.


( if possible )


However, at times, unlike their wind, you're trapped.



* places finger under nose *



NETTE:-S

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Ah yes, Moos - that old chestnut.


Well, my dear old Mother taught me a rather sweet rhyme about that:



When a man on the tram drops his guts near your Mam

I breathe through my mouth for as long as I can


Though whilst I can mostly avoid the cruel whiff

I take a strange pleasure in taking a sniff

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Annette wrote

---------------------------------


I'll bear that in mind.


Though I personally love the "Parson's nose"


Oh, and the slimy dark-meat oysters underneath the bird. Where does West Indian culture stand on those.


as I know just any sort of bird and it is not just us it also the Turkish and Japanese culture too

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Annette Curtain Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------


... I personally love the "Parson's nose"

>

> NETTE(?)


Of course you do... it's all the preen oil isn't it? That's how you manage to stay unruffled.

http://partnersah.vet.cornell.edu/avian-atlas/sites/agilestaging.library.cornell.edu.avian-atlas/files/avian_atlas_assets/Uropygealgland1%20x750.jpg


MMMMM! Enjoy!

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I'm roasting a couple of "Suckling Pigs" over a wood-fired pit, in my garden, during the festive period.


( as you do )


Now, my dear neighbour has a Pet Pig ( called Mr Pickwick ) which lives indoors.


Do I put up a screen to shield her/his view.


What is the common Etiquette in such situations.



NETTE:-S

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Annette Curtain Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm roasting a couple of "Suckling Pigs" over a

> wood-fired pit, in my garden, during the festive

> period.

>

> ( as you do )

>

> Now, my dear neighbour has a Pet Pig ( called Mr

> Pickwick ) which lives indoors.

>

> Do I put up a screen to shield her/his view.

>

> What is the common Etiquette in such situations.

>

>

> NETTE:-S


As long as you carry the spit-mounted suckers with the appropriate dignity and ceremony I think you'll be able to fool Indoor-Pig that it is a legitimate funeral service and cremation. If not use subterfuge and religious argument...


Deliver a hampamphlet to Pickwick in pig latin explaining the honour you are bestowing on these dead-uns in ingesting them in accordance with your beliefs - this is so Pickers knows what to expect and can affect indifference and/or a knowing superiority over his distant cousins.

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