2-year-old refusing to stay in bed

[Ole]

Does anybody know how to deal with a 2 year old boy who keeps getting up from his bed at bedtime? We have never had any bedtime trouble, but in the last 3 weeks our son climbs out of his cot as soon as we put him back in. He thinks it is one jolly game. So far we have tried:

1. Putting him straight back in a la suppernanny. However he just giggles and climbs straight back out, and he happily keeps this up for 2 hours. So we resorted to...

2. The naughty step. Which worked fine the first day, but after that he would climb out and happily go to the naughty step. Again he happily kept this up for at least 1 hour.

3. Reading him book after book after book, but all this does is delay the inevitable 'now go to sleep' moment and subsequent cot acrobatics.

4. Taking down one side of the cot and making a big fuss of what a big boy he is now (the fact that he can climb out of the cot when it is at it's highest setting is not an impediment for him). This just meant it was easier for him to get out - at least when he has to climb out of the cot it eventually tires him out.

5. Threatening to take toys away/no TV/no snack treats/you name it.......no effect.

6. Putting him to bed earlier (7:30pm) in case it is overtiredness. He'd still keeep the fun and games up for 2 hours so by the time he falls asleep it is past 9pm, meaning next day he is cranky as hell.

We are at our wits' end and in the last week he has decided he would wake up at midnight too and start all over again during the dead of the night.

How do we cope with a boy who finds getting out of bed/cot hilarious fun and who thinks the naughty step is fun???

As I type this my husband is chasing him down the corridor with him in a fit of giggles....

[oimissus]

can you put him in a sleeping bag and so limit his mobility? You can get them to fit up to 36 months.

[snowboarder]

Hmm my 2 yr old can get out of his cot with a sleeping bag on (and can take sleeping bag off by self too) so not much hindrance...

His reaction to being 'disciplined' sounds like my little boy too (basically doesn't seem to care!). I have no solutions as yet am afraid. Things I might try - stair gate on bedroom door/special book to read in bed and torch to read with/bribery/lying down with him in the dark/sedative (JOKE)....

Does he nap?

Mine has woken up recently in the night too after about 18m of good sleep - scared of monsters etc. Too tedious...

[Ole]

He is a clever little sausage and knows how to undo them, zips and everything.

Having said this, he has just upped the game - just now he ran out of his room stark naked. If I wasn't so tired I'd find it quite funny (and I'm guessing that letting him think that he is hilarious is not going to help).

[snowboarder]

In extreme circumstances I understand putting a sleeping bag on backwards (if it is a front zip one) can make removal more tricky. (Know that this would a - be v difficult to physically do with my son and b - make him v cross).

Nightmare....

[Ole]

Sometimes he naps during the day, sometimes he doesn't. I suppose I just have to stick to one method more consistently. Sigh - we even used to be able to watch a film in the evening (he wakes up at 6am too so no respite in the morning - he has always been an early bird so we are used to the early starts)

[Inkmaiden]

That sounds horrendous!

Could you put a stairgate on his door and make it very clear that even if he is going to get out of bed he has to stay in his room and nothing exciting is going to happen? If you calmly repeat to him that he must stay in his room and then ignore his attempts to get your attention as long as you know he is safe?

If you get angry and put him on the naughty step he probably just thinks it's a fun game where he gets a reaction and is achieving his objective, which is to get up and out of his room and get your attention. He's probably a bit too young for threats of no tv/treats etc- if it doesn't actually occur at the time he won't make the connection.

Maybe temporarily remove some of his more exciting toys to make the bedroom less of a play space. Be calm, firm and consistent and try to accept that there may be some messing about in his room for a bit? Hopefully, he'll eventually get bored and put himself to bed if he doesn't get a reaction.

Edited to add- if you laugh at first and then get angry he'll keep doing it because the game is he wants to make you laugh again.

[Ole]

The stairgate is a good idea - we live in a flat so I thought I would bypass the need for it, but it may be a solution. I hate the idea of caging him in, but it is definitely a thought.

[Sanne Panne]

I'd just open his cot up and let him play in his room until he's tired enough to go to sleep. Even leave a little light on for him. Stairgate in door so you know he's safe. The newness will wear off and he'll either go to sleep sooner after a few days or he'll just play for a bit before falling asleep every night. Worked very well for us but every kid+situation is obviously different...

[Ruth_Baldock]

No advice, Seb does this, and wakes his sister up in the process. We have a stairgate, which he can open/climb over and instead of playing nicely in his room till hes tired, he just screams himself hoarse until one of us goes to him. If he has woken his sister up, though, i am usually trying to calm her down so he just gets massively hysterical.

Wah!

[Inkmaiden]

Tbh if he can climb out of his cot he probably would be able to climb over a stair gate but using it as a physical prop to back up your word that this is the time to stay in his room might help.

As Sanne Panne says, it's different for every child, sometimes this will work, sometimes, as in the case of my sister's son, you may have to endure your evening meal being punctuated by the repeated thuds of a small boy flinging himself backwards and forwards over his stairgate upstairs.

Constant repetition of "It's just a phase, it's just a phase" to yourself is also useful.

[Lochie]

Hi Ole - we have just gone through this phase ourselves so feel your pain! Although 2 year 2 month old son wasn't climbing out of cot with merriment (we've since found out he can however), he would not be put down to sleep in it and would cry hysterically. It was as if he outgrew the cot for whatever reason.

Rather nervously I tried putting him in a full size single bed instead after a few recommendations on this forum. I made it really appealing and got a nice dinosaur duvet cover set etc and put up a bed barrier so he didn't fall out of bed. It means that we can fall asleep with him whilst lying in bed next to him after we read him some books. However - we kept the cot still up in the room. Now when I say good night I say something like 'stay in bed otherwise i'll have to put you back in your cot ok?' and he will nod and fortunately it has worked out really well and we are back to normal sleeping again.

Although it might sound like madness to take the bars off your cot that might be the way to make him feel a bit more 'responsible'?!! Must admit I would be finding it hard not to laugh too though if my son carried out continued cot escapisms whilst streaking naked in protest!

[Ole]

I like the idea of a stairgate but I suspect he would climb out of it straighaway! I think perhaps getting him a bed is the way forward, we are going to get him a bed anyway in the sales. In the meantime we have decided to choose a method and stick to it consistently for 2 weeks and see what happens (until now we have been trying different things each night). We are going to go with the 'put him straight back without engaging in conversation' technique (and trying to keep a straight face). Thanks for all your suggestions and fingers crossed. I miss my evenings!

[JessM]

don't forget to remind him that Father Christmas will only bring presents if he is a good boy!

[Vanessa3]

Another tip is to put him back into his cot/bed, and close the door, but hold the handle so that he cannot come out of his room. He'll soon work it out. Issues like this are covered in a great book called 'Solving your Childs Sleep Problems' by Dr Ricard Ferber. If things don't work out, please PM & I can lend you my copy! Good luck!

[Ruth_Baldock]

Er, or he will get absolutely hysterical with worry if you, basically, barricade him in. I know if we did this to our toddler, he would get so, so upset.

[helena handbasket]

You can get really tall stair gates, I think they might be for pets? We did. It works if you can stand listening to an angry little voice shouting mummy through his prison bars for hours on end. On the other hand, I found that easier at 5:00

am than having to march junior back to his bed a thousand times. Put a little pillow and blanket and a lovey on the prison side to lesson the guilt. And remind yourself that he HAS a nice cozy bed, if he would just stay in it!

Shouting "Sleep is nice! Bed is good! Why why why won't you just go (the ****) to sleep already!" rarely works, I find.

[Saffron]

It's a bit counter-intuitive, but it's worked for us: Try a later bedtime. Fill the extra time with a few special games (Little Saff likes puzzles and giant lego bricks). Give your LO a small snack (eg, maybe just some warm milk), then shift to cuddles and quiet time together, finally books and bed. This wears out your LO, and also provides extra bedtime cues for sleep. If you find it helps, then you can gradually move bedtime forward. You can combine this with your current choice of back-to-bed routine too. xx