Gina Ford's new book - new mums & sex

[Saila]

I felt offended by the tone of this thread when it went 'off topic'. and I'm know of a few others less ready to stick their necks out who agree.

However, I think it's fair to 'debate' the pros and cons of various ideas and approaches to parenthood. But so often ppl say things like 'I haven't read her book, but..' which is slightly irritating when they then pass judgement.

Perhaps its a valid point to highlight she hasn't given birth, but arguably neither have you otta.

Unless I'm mistaken, it was you otta that said following gf routine was child abuse? Or was that 'quids'?

I found that deeply offensive and upsetting.

Edit to say: please please don't use the 'experts aren't experts unless they've been through it' argument. Does that

Mean cancer specialists or therapists can't do their jobs... Etc?

[chantelle]

Ok Otta, maybe I should just ignore what I dont agree with. But on your earlier point re nannying vs parenting - a nanny helps you raise a child, it's really the same thing IMO.

[Otta]

Unless I'm mistaken, it was you otta that

said following gf routine was child abuse?

Or was that 'quids'?

I never said that following a GF routine was child abuse. That is a total misrepresentation.

[Saila]

- i'm relieved you're saying that's a total misrepresentation of what you meant.

What did you mean then when you said GF was child abuse?

it stayed with me - so i'm happy to know you didn't meant that

[Saila]

Perhaps its a good idea not to discuss gf or routines etc on this forum. It always seems to get people's

Backs up, whichever camp you're in. The number of posts and the number of ppl reading the thread clearly shows

That's it's not limited to a small group of ppl.

It will always be contraversial it seems. Personally if I see an unbalanced-gf thread, I'll feel

It necessary to post cos if it means another mum out there goes and reads gf with an open mind and perhpas

Doesn't get into a pickle with sleep associations, via feeding to sleep or whatever the problem is, that they feel they need to sort out/fix at a later date, then great.

Anyway. Let's not fight

Ps sorry for bad typos, using phone

[Otta]

Indeed, let's not fight. I am sorry if I've said anything that has offended you. I've done a search on the child abuse thing, and can't find anything. It does ring a bell if I'm honest, but certainly not in a "GF followers are child abusers" way.

[Family Room Moderator]

Family room group hug :)

Thanks Saila & Otta, any mention of GF generally makes moderator alarm bells ring, healthy debate is fine but let's keep this thread on topic.

So back to sex then...

[sillywoman]

Off topic I know (sorry moderator), but has anyone got a CLB they would be willing to loan me?

[Ruth_Baldock]

Sillywoman, you can have mine for keeps if you like!

[hellosailor]

the book or an actual contented little baby sillywoman?

I have a slightly fractious baby with a temperature that doesn't eat, if you'd like a lend

[legalbeagle]

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this, but I just wrote an article on this, which is supposed to be light-hearted (don't freak out ok!) Hope it makes you laugh! It's free to read, and safe to click on etc....

http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/the-edge/2012-03-melons-bed-snakes-and-miss-gina-ford.html

[VanessaPMR]

Ouu, I like that legalbeagle. Must say I am not a fan of the woman (massive understatement..)

Have good pals who swear by her though, but they and their children don't quite have the same personalities as me or my little one..

But seriously, taking her advice (or anyone else's) on sex... If I find my husband sexy I'll have sex with him, end off. If I find my husband sexy but my nether regions remain a life/death battleground.. it's not going to happen.

I don't know about GF, but I like sex to be at the very least pleasurable and not a sad item to cross off on my to-do list.

[Saffron]

It's important to make a distinction between training and experience, because they are not the same thing. Experience is significant, but experience alone is not enough to be a specialist. A specialist is a specialist in his/her field because s/he has trained to be such. Someone who is truly an expert will have both training and experience. GF has to the best of my knowledge no training as a psychologist or a gynaecologist.

While it's true that people often seek advice or information from a variety of sources (expert or not), GF is being singled-out b/c she published a book. I might ask my next door neighbour what she would do if postpartum intercourse made her symphysis pubis dysfunction more painful, and if her advice was interesting/reasonable, I might try to find some additional supporting literature on it. I wouldn't critise her personally if her advice was rubbish, BUT my next door neighbour hasn't published a book on it!

When one publishes in a public arena as GF as done, one opens oneself to criticism. That is long and short of it. I don't see anything truly offensive in this thread. No one has said GF smells bad, or is stupid or ugly. This is all pretty lightweight stuff as far as discussions are concerned. (You should try the Drawing Room sometime!! ;-) ) xx

[legalbeagle]

Thanks VanessaPMR, glad it made you laugh!

[sillywoman]

hellosailor Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> the book or an actual contented little baby

> sillywoman?

>

> I have a slightly fractious baby with a

> temperature that doesn't eat, if you'd like a lend

LOL :)) hellosailor, & thanks Ruth, got one now. Vaiiry interesting - if slightly scary - reading ;)

[dulwichgirl2]

Publisher's purpose achieved - create a storm. zzzzz

Actually she's American isn't she? She could well be thinking of elective sections where her 4/6 weeks suggestion would not be as surprising as with pv births.

[helena handbasket]

Wow. Just wow.

[jollybaby]

No she's Scottish

[Ruth_Baldock]

You still have to wait 6w + for The Sexy Time with c/s, as well as VB.

Personally, my scar still hurts like mad so The Sexy Time has happened twice, both times followed by a pregnancy scare. Am now celibate. TMI? Ah well.

[sillywoman]

You're safe with us Ruth ;)

[Saffron]

Ruth_Baldock Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> You still have to wait 6w + for The Sexy Time with

> c/s, as well as VB.

>

> Personally, my scar still hurts like mad so The

> Sexy Time has happened twice, both times followed

> by a pregnancy scare. Am now celibate. TMI? Ah

> well.

I had a copper IUD fitted at 6 wks postpartum, by my local GP. I wasn't taking any chances! Contrary to what some GPs will tell you, most women can have an IUD fitted, even if they have other gynae issues (Although I obviously don't know what your personal case is, Ruth). It may just be that the IUD needs to be fitted by a specialist if the woman has other gynae issues.

I mention this b/c I have been given some contradictory advice by well-meaning GPs in the past. My first IUD, before ever have been pregnant, was fitted by a very nice specialist at the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead. The team there was very knowledgable, as I imagine are our local hospitals/specialists. If you want to have excellent contraception without hormones, a plain copper IUD might be for you. A copper IUD will not interfere with breastfeeding hormones but might give you slightly heavier periods.

[hellosailor]

Ruth_Baldock Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> You still have to wait 6w + for The Sexy Time with

> c/s, as well as VB.

>

> Personally, my scar still hurts like mad so The

> Sexy Time has happened twice, both times followed

> by a pregnancy scare. Am now celibate. TMI? Ah

> well.

:))

[Ruth_Baldock]

Thanks you guuuuys. Knew you could keep my secret...

Saffron: IUD? I bite my thumb at them! Seb was concieved when I had an IUD.

[Inkmaiden]

.

[Saffron]

Yes, some women are super fertile. I have also known someone who became pregnant on a copper IUD, so you'd probably want to double-up on your birth control methods if you suspect this would be the case.

Was it a copper IUD or a Mirena (contains copper + hormones) on which you became pregnant? I was told that there have be no documented pregnacies on the Mirena coil, but I'm not sure if this is still correct. It was some time ago. I can't personally have the Mirena b/c I can't have the hormones. I'm banking on not being the 0.001%. Husband probably secretly wishes we are the 0.001%!