Erm... Hello?

[Michael Palaeologus]

DM - Malibu or Hawaian Tropic? Drinking the latter at 16 when heavily pregnant with your third child could indeed make you feel a tad queasy.

[dulwichmum]

Michael, you desserve a good kicking for that. How very dare you?

I am prepared to admit that I am self centred, breathtakingly superficial, and the sharp elbowed manipulative mother of a nightmare from hell, but I would never drink when pregnant, AND I didn't start my family until I was in my late 30's.

Shame on you.

My poppets come first (sob).

[Moos]

Pregnant, schmegnant - Madam, permit me to point out you are chased. Pass the port.

[dulwichmum]

Indeed Moos, you really are a good friend. Do you have some lemon and a collection of tissues?

[Michael Palaeologus]

Oh please, less of the crocodile tears. You may have started the family in your 40s - but to deny all of those children dispensed with prior to this in Foster homes and care homes and prisons throughout the land is just cruel.

[SteveT]

I used to dream about having a collection of tissies when I was a lad.

errr wots er tissies(?)

[KalamityKel]

mayb tissues for girls :p

[Moos]

Golly, sorry I'm so late. Here's a lemon, and some tissies, borne aloft on a velvet cushion by an orphan.

[KalamityKel]

*sits twiddling thumbs willing the clock to move faster*

[dulwichmum]

Gosh, what is all of this talk of tissies, I can't imagine what they are talking about.

Anyone for tequila?

[Moos]

Call me conservative, but I'm sticking with the red wine: am sitting on the sofa feeling pleasantly tiddly and typing unsteadily. Tequila would have me bouncing around the sitting room finding the Mooslet's toys too challenging to play with.

[dulwichmum]

I know what you mean... We could skip the salt and lemon and just stick to the neat tequila if you prefer?

[Moos]

Just tried skipping over the salt and lemon and fell flat on my face.

Am sitting on the floor wounded, sulking, and now drinking the wine through a wide straw.

[KalamityKel]

u still sucking thru that straw moos?

[Moos]

Do you know, Kel, it's a bloody disgrace - I haven't got a drink at all. Something is seriously wrong. You?

[KalamityKel]

Is a can of cherry coca-cola hard core these days?

I'm drying up here from lack of alcohol... sadly mefinks I may get fired if I open the champagne sitting in the work fridge for celebrating the survival of tomoro...

[Moos]

Cherry cola is just tragic. But if you nip over to the quiet room, I've got a chilled glass of Billecart Salmon waiting for you.

[KalamityKel]

Ooooooh Moos u posh fing u!

[Moos]

Posh, schmosh, it's yum. Drink up.