Jump to content

Recommended Posts

My 9 year old daughter has a very upsetting friendship issue at the moment and as a result really doesn't want to go to school. She has what has always looked like a lovely group of friends. But recently a pair of girls seem to have assumed more power over the group and according to my daughter have ostracised one girl for being too immature. My daughter feels terrible for this girl and wants to play with her but fears that she too will be cut out by the newly powerful pair, who she enjoys being friends with. She feels caught in the middle and afraid to express her opinion. It sounds very subtle, looks at her and looks exchanged etc. She doesn't want me to talk to the girls' mothers or the teachers. I am doing my best to advise her to stand up for what she thinks but she keeps saying she hasn't built up the courage yet. I'm also trying not to project my own school experiences onto her. Can anyone suggest any books or other sources of wisdom, or offer any advice? I have seen such good advice here in the past.
Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/244043-girls-and-friendships/
Share on other sites

I would contact the head of school as this is a clear case of bullying against the so-called immature girl- you never know-her parent may have already expressed concerns...it is the 2 who are ganging up who are the immature ones and hopefully your daughter will not be dragged into the awful behaviour against another child.

As a teacher I have had to intervene when groups of girls discuss others' clothes, hair etc. in a critical way when the girl is not present. They do not understand that this is also bullying (even at age 15) as it colours their attitude towards the victim when they are altogether.

I wish you well because this is nasty and how would you feel if one day the pair turn on your daughter? It is great that your daughter can confide in you

Explain to your daughter that you think the best people to help are the teachers and that they won't mention any names or say how they became aware of what is happening - then speak to the school and explain your daughters fears over what she has reported.

Yes - talk to the school and really support her in having the confidence to not be sucked

Into their nastiness. Not easy to stand up to this behaviour which is

Why little madams like this get away with it. This used to be secondary school stuff (hideous)

So rather sad it has kicked in so early. Very best of luck and best wishes

My youngest daughter stood up to 'bullies' in her school, she made a direct approach to her form teacher and asked that the girls in question be spoken to. Also stated that if the form teacher was not able to do anything, she would take the matter up with head of year. We were very surprised at daughter as always a very quiet person who lacked self confidence. We heard about the 'bullies' via a phone call made by her form teacher to us, who were very pleased at our daughter's actions. The 'bullies' were approached by teachers and their parents contacted. A meeting was arranged at the school with teachers, parents and bullies - our daughter was given the option of being at the meeting- she attended and when outlined the other girls' behaviour, their parents were horrified and promised necessary action. Daughter was not bullied again for the rest of her school life and became a school counsellor with responsibility for a class of 11/12 year olds whom she mentored and helped identify 'bullying' behaviour.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • In what way? Maybe it just felt more intelligent and considered coming directly after Question Time, which was a barely watchable bun fight.
    • Yes, all this. Totally Sephiroth. The electorate wants to see transformation overnight. That's not possible. But what is possible is leading with the right comms strategy, which isn't cutting through. As I've said before, messaging matters more now than policy, that's the only way to bring the electorate with you. And I worry that that's how Reform's going to get into power.  And the media LOVES Reform. 
    • “There was an excellent discussion on Newscast last night between the BBC Political Editor, the director of the IFS and the director of More In Common - all highly intelligent people with no party political agenda ” I would call this “generous”   Labour should never have made that tax promise because, as with - duh - Brexit, it’s pretending the real world doesn’t exist now. I blame Labour in no small part for this delusion. But the electorate need to cop on as well.  They think they can have everything they want without responsibilities, costs or attachments. The media encourage this  Labour do need to raise taxes. The country needs it.  Now, exactly how it’s done remains to be seen. But if people are just going to go around going “la la laffer curve. Liars! String em up! Vote someone else” then they just aren’t serious people reckoning with the problem yes Labour are more than a year into their term, but after 14 years of what the Tories  did? Whoever takes over, has a major problem 
    • Messaging, messaging, messaging. That's all it boils down to. There are only so many fiscal policies out there, and they're there for the taking, no matter which party you're in. I hate to say it, but Farage gets it right every time. Even when Reform reneges on fiscal policy, it does it with enough confidence and candidness that no one is wringing their hands. Instead, they're quietly admired for their pragmatism. Strangely, it's exactly the same as Labour has done, with its manifesto reverse on income tax, but it's going to bomb.  Blaming the Tories / Brexit / Covid / Putin ... none of it washes with the public anymore  - it wants to be sold a vision of the future, not reminded of the disasters of the past. Labour put itself on the back foot with its 'the tories fucked it all up' stance right at the beginning of its tenure.  All Lammy had to do (as with Reeves and Raynor etc) was say 'mea culpa. We've made a mistake, we'll fix it. Sorry guys, we're on it'. But instead it's 'nothing to see here / it's someone else's fault / I was buying a suit / hadn't been briefed yet'.  And, of course, the press smells blood, which never helps.  Oh! And Reeve's speech on Wednesday was so drab and predictable that even the journalists at the press conference couldn't really be arsed to come up with any challenging questions. 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...