homework hell

[honkytonk]

I wondered if anyone can give me a bit of advice to help me deal with our homework hell!

Getting my 8 year old son to do his homework is an absolute nightmare. Most nights we have a great big scence about it. I don't blame him for not wanting to do it, and I wish he didn't have it, I'd rather he was outside playing, but he gets it from school so he needs to get on with it.

He absolutely hates getting into trouble at school so that is a bit of a driving factor to get it done, but why do we have to have a massive scence before he'll get on with it?

Also, when he does do it, he has no interest in checking it or making it look ok - he takes no pride whatsoever in it.

As I say, I feel bad for him but I could really do with some advice on how to try and make our evenings a bit easier. And the summer hols too as he has work set for the holidays.

Think I'll go mad if this keeps going on!!

Thanks in advance!

[Jessie]

I have no magic solution but oh good grief, I could have written that post myself! My 7 year old son loathes his homework. It's the low point of our week. I didn't get homework till I was 14!! Seems a lot of pressure for kids.

[tiddles]

I have no idea what on earth any school with a modicum of common sense is doing setting homework at such a young age - especially if is causes problems. What a fantastic way to turn children off learning!! Year 8, yes, age 8 no!!

I have heard from one primary school teacher that they don't really want to set homework, but they are pressurised by SATS obsessed parents, and feel obliged to prove their worth.

I really feel sorry for you and quite incensed on behalf of your poor boy.

[BB100]

It would be a good idea to have a chat with his teacher when you go back in September. You don't want him turned off learning at this age.

[Monkey]

Work for the holidays! I would have thought teachers would just recommend a bit of reading every day at this age. How ridiculous! I agree a chat with the teacher is needed.

[Ondine]

Hmmm my older one saw homework as a necessary evil so would dash through it but she's naturally pretty neat and organised so it was never a problem. With no 2, I ended up refusing to battle with her and said it was her responsibility. Missed homework was the one criticism in her report that year (year 4, I think) and the fact it got a mention in the report did have an impact and she did it a bit more readily after that. She's now year 7 and they get punished straight away so she has has to get her act together somewhat. I've never seen the point myself. Other than things like spelling and times tables, which we would do walking to and from school.

[The Nappy Lady]

I'd speak to his teacher. We play it by ear with homework, and so far the teachers have been very supportive of this approach - my understanding is that they are setting it so that parents can support their children's learning and get a feel for what they are doing in class but it certainly isn't compulsary.

With our just 8 year 3 daughter we prioritise;

Musical instrument practice every day unless exceptional reasons

Then spellings or other homework (tends to alternate week by week)

Then reading which she's now pretty much doing herself (bedtime reading).

I dont agree with children doing loads of homework at this age, but I think a

small amount is OK. It really helps if you can get a feel for the schools

expectations, and then try to somehow approach it with enthusiasm yourself

(I often find I'm trying to cram it into the day & almost approach it with a bad

attitude myself - "argh and we've still got the flipping homework to do" type

Of thing!! Sometimes I say to my daughter if we can get this done really well

now then we will have time to do XYZ, things I know she likes and that helps.

Good luck.

[eco79]

From a teachers point of view [a secondary teacher that is...], there are a few ways to encourage homework.

I agree with you that homework at 8 is a bit daft, but it's possible that your personal attitude to the homework may be rubbing off on him. Be extremely positive about it. Don't say things like 'I know it's not fun, but you have to'.

I'm sure you use reward systems in other aspects, but try it with homework. Try a different tact though, maybe a reward for not complaining about homework and doing it without being asked? Take the focus off the actual homework.

In terms of presentation, it's just a bit of a boy thing. But you can encourage neatness by 'judging work', not in terms of academic ability but on how nice it looks. Praise praise praise.

[lucyA1308]

I am also a teacher, although a music teacher, not a class teacher, and I always expect my pupils to practice between lessons. It is a way of solidifying what they have learnt in the lesson.

It is very important to have parental support, otherwise how will a child feel motivated if the people they most want to impress in the world aren't being supportive?

The pupils who do the practice at home thrive, and the ones who don't continue to struggle.

Encourage him as best you can, make it fun, and hopefully you will see him thrive too.

[Ann]

I sympathise with you and agree with other posters. I definitely think boys struggle more with this than girls. My personal thoughts are that boys 'conform' at school and need that emotional release when they get home, ie relax and be themselves; homework somewhat spoils this. I also suspect that at the end of the academic year he's getting tired.

That said holidays should be holidays, albeit with some regular reading etc. A lot of homework set ( in my experience) was not realistically achievable without considerable parental input. The quality of which reflects the level of help more than the child's input.

[honkytonk]

Thank you so much for all your comments.

I have definatly given off the wrong atitude towards it by trying to sympathise with him, saying how rubbish it is that he has to do it, so I'll try a change of approach and definatly try the reward for doing it without complaining!

I do think he's too young for homework but on the brightside at least he'll be used to it when it comes to year 7?!

Thanks again,

[dulwichgirl2]

How long does it take each night? Unfortunately many parents like to boast about how much hw children get so the schools ladle it on. Also if there have been disruptions from naughty children the class will not have made the progress the teacher wanted to make so more will have to be done at home by the others.