Things to do when you move from ED to the countryside

[silverfox]

You can Complain about:

The village church ringing its bells every Sunday for the past 300 years

Cockrels crowing at un-Godly hours of the morning and pongs coming from animals in the fields

The village community centre doesn't hold esoteric yoga classes

There are no pavements for double-deckker bugaloos

Horse poo on the country lanes makes the range rover dirty

Oh, and the foxes are not as big or cheerful as those in East Dulwich

[Ridgley]

Maybe being the only black in the villlage:)

[LondonLogCo]

Log on the EDF

[Salsaboy]

Or the only gay in the village.

[maxxi]

Get to know the sheep. locals sheep

[*Bob*]

Quietly await death

[Huguenot]

Take potshots at Daily Mail reading neighbours from the bathroom window.

[fazer71]

Spend 3/4 of your new life in your car.

[DulwichFox]

Go for a Walk..

http://playwithdeath.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/an-american-werewolf-in-london-header1.jpg

To the Local Pub.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MZuTbj_aFms/TdZK99CJPUI/AAAAAAAAAEU/MhvIqIz_SOY/s1600/SlaughteredLamb_sign_110519.jpg

Meet all the friendly Customers

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Fox

[fazer71]

Buy an old bicycle ride up and down the main street saying hello ooh err to everyone you see then chase after them asking if they need their car washing.

Unless another village local is already doing that in which case you'll just have to wait your turn sitting on a wall with a gallon of scrumpy to sip on whilst you while away the day.

[Ridgley]

Taking your kids to the local village school, finding out it's the village of the dammed scenario

[*Bob*]

Plead with your London friends to visit - with cocaine.

(Tips hat to Stu)

[El Pibe]

My pleading has already begun. It's shameless, rather pathetic,undiginified and frankly futile.

I'm now going to spend 18 months doing things like going to the theatre in a bid to persuade myself of the things I'll miss, never having actually done them at all in the preceding 20 years.

[*Bob*]

Of course they'll come!

And when they get there, you can lay on the guided tour - pointing-out in detail the various u-values of various installed materials. They'll love it!

[Ted Max]

And the big range.

[*Bob*]

"Build it - and they will come."

[katie1997]

...and if you're not on mains drainage, you can discuss - at length - how you got to grips with the instruction manual for a 700W submersible water pump with float switch.

Your friends will be booking their return visit before you know it!

[*Bob*]

"... aaaand moving on to the Septic Tank, you will notice that.."

[El Pibe]

We've a septic tank and a percolation area and everything.

And chickens, don't forget the chickens.

[*Bob*]

ha ha!

[El Pibe]

jinx!!!

[silverfox]

Whittle wood outside the village shop

[maxxi]

Talk about how great life used to be in ED but how it all sadly changed for the worse, forcing you to 'move on' and how you- "could never live in a big city environment again anyway" because all the real people have moved to Fulmetch/Gressbourne/Harbinger-Mallow etc.

[silverfox]

Yearn to be drinking until 2am in the Great Exhibition when you're snowed in and have had no electricity for a week 10 miles from the nearest amenities

[Brendan]

Anyone got any cocaine? The train will only take you am hour and a half.

Three tops