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Best way to kill a neighbour without being caught?

Peckhamgatecrasher

By Peckhamgatecrasher
in The Lounge

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Lordship_local

Lordship_local

Posted
Posted

We got someone nearby who *started* playing music outside at 2am! I wouldn't want to hurt them, but I didn't really know what else to do other than stare forlornly at my ceiling and hope that my bad vibes would mean they would be overcome with guilt (they weren't).


Having to open the window in the heat really does make a noise difference though. In my last place, I used to hear a dawn chorus of different phone alarms going off on summer mornings....

seenbeen

seenbeen

Posted
Posted

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Recommendations please.

>

> Some plonker practising a clarinet in the garden

> from 8.10 am this morning is making me desperate.


I've had continuous loud building noise from the attached house next door being completely refurbished since last September- every weekday from 8am and they tried it on on a couple of weekends too. They did not contain dust until I got the council involved. The owners who are not living there accused me of lying when I texted them about the weekend work. And skip lorries and building supplies delivery lorries turned up even earlier until we complained to them.


8.10 am is NOT early

Spartacus

Spartacus

Posted
Posted

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Recommendations please.

>

> Some plonker practising a clarinet in the garden

> from 8.10 am this morning is making me desperate.


"Kindness" or "softly with his song" are two good recommendations !

Sue

Sue

Posted
Posted

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Recommendations please.

>

> Some plonker practising a clarinet in the garden

> from 8.10 am this morning is making me desperate.



Do you want to borrow my melodeon? 🤣🤣🤣


I'm sure you could drown him out 🤣🤣🤣


ETA: Or her ....



If that fails, you could "accidentally" throw it at him/her. It's quite heavy 🤣

KidKruger

KidKruger

Posted
Posted

no, I mean a real one, to the back of the skull. kinda thing.


Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> JohnL - rather it were improvements on a

> clarinet.

>

> KK - do you mean retaliate with Peter Gabriel?

>

> Thank you, Spartacus (said tartly).

seenbeen

seenbeen

Posted
Posted

You could employ the builders that have extended the house next door to me.

I had just cleared up some foxes' scat from outside my back door. I had just gone inside when a large black tile fell into my sideway at exactly the place where I had been cleaning just before! It was not from my roof- they had balanced the tile on the ridge between the two houses and it fell off.

Or failing that, drop a house brick and half a housebrick from the window but make sure it is from your actual window surround into their garden...

JohnL

JohnL

Posted
Posted

KidKruger Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> wasn't there a guy who used to post on here who

> preached the benefits and purity of hunting by bow

> and arrow (or was it crossbow) ?

> He may be able to help.



Ahh. Robin Hood I remember him well.

diable rouge

diable rouge

Posted
Posted

KidKruger Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> wasn't there a guy who used to post on here who

> preached the benefits and purity of hunting by bow

> and arrow (or was it crossbow) ?

> He may be able to help.


Sounds like BBW, saw himself as the Rambo of Sydenham Woods...

ianr

ianr

Posted
Posted

> Or a movement sensitive explosive.


Nitrogen tri-iodide crystals on the keys. Or a computer program which re-broadcasts what's played with a delay of a couple of seconds and/or frequencies shifted by a semitone or so. Neither likely to be fatal but could have marked behavioural effects.


What would we be extinguishing, btw? Mozart, Debussy, Joplin, Gershwin, Bilk, ...?

Sue

Sue

Posted
Posted

diable rouge Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> KidKruger Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > wasn't there a guy who used to post on here who

> > preached the benefits and purity of hunting by

> bow

> > and arrow (or was it crossbow) ?

> > He may be able to help.

>

> Sounds like BBW, saw himself as the Rambo of

> Sydenham Woods...



Crikey, (unwelcome) blast from the past :))

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