Christmas List

[Annette Curtain]

This year for Christmas I do NOT want the following:

A silly retro humorous calendar "Oh but you love those" (no actually, I flippin well don't)

Jamie's 15 minute cookbook (ha)

Synthetic fibre Socks

Thermals

A bag with lots of zips and pockety things "to put all ya bits and bobs in"

A Christmas dinner which MUST BE EATEN whilst it's steaming friggin hot.

Any jam from the simpering Woman over the road "It's strawberry with vanilla in-homemade"

A crummy-thin-flavourless-curry, made by the hubby of the above woman.

Any utterly pointless "stocking-filler-smellies-odd-shaped-soaps-or stuff"

In anticipation, thanks but no thanks.

And you lot over the road "sling yer hook"

Nette

( I must say, I do feel better now )

[????]

BAH HUMBUG

[Annette Curtain]

???? Wrote:

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> BAH HUMBUG

I don't want those either.

[Salsaboy]

It must be Christmas as driving through Penge on Monday I noticed that the Christmas lights are up on the lamp posts.

[KalamityKel]

Have you complained to the north pole customer service dept?

[Ted Max]

You should never have had that fumble with strawberry-jam-woman after that Bonfire night drinks party. What were you thinking?

[TheArtfulDogger]

Nette

what's wrong with the cast off thermal synthetic socks I sent you last year then ... just because I didn't want them, no need to be so blumming ungrateful now :-(

[Dee Woffaz]

can you still get Soap on a Rope? Months of hanging round your bath taps leaving brightly coloured soap scum round the overflow until it cracked and eventually was thrown away....... Those were the days.

[womanofdulwich]

Everything Annette said, together with revolting cheap chocolates, pou pourri or candles.

[maxxi]

Annette Curtain Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> This year for Christmas I do NOT want the

> following:

> ...

> Any utterly pointless

> "stocking-filler-smellies-odd-shaped-soaps-or

> stuff"

> ...

BATH HUMBUG

[NomDePlume]

Christmas despite popular (dis)belief is for Christians and not a subject for rhetoric and ridicule, bemoaning the bad taste of the gifts so ungraciously received! (indeed) If you find you cannot stomach some gift then give it charity and let some other benefit from your unwanted junk

[Ted Max]

Have more water with it, old plum.

[Help-Ma-Boab]

Mr Matey Bubble Bath and a satsuma. That's what was in my stocking year after year. Santa must have had oodles of the stuff.

Dee Woffaz Wrote:

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> can you still get Soap on a Rope? Months of

> hanging round your bath taps leaving brightly

> coloured soap scum round the overflow until it

> cracked and eventually was thrown away.......

> Those were the days.

[El Pibe]

I think the clueoOOoo is in the name ;-)

[Annette Curtain]

Oh nomsy

Even better, I recycle them back within that group who gave them. I'm often amazed how many crap gifts you can palm off, and back onto those you detest.

All delivered with the standard "It's only something small...hmmmm" phoney festive smile.

I'm down with the God thing, really. Personally I'd just rather spend time with my family, remembering that it is a spiritual festival.

But somehow, that other stuff just gets in the way.

Peace to all.

[Ted Max]

Can we hear more about the trembler with the strawberry jam lady, Curtains?

Left along on the smokey patio as the others moved inside for a warm up. Her teeth clashing into yours with surprising vigour. The smell of menthol and mulled wine on her breath. You, shocked into inertia, strangely but only briefly compelled to submit to the force of her unbidden desire. Her snort of derision as you broke off and hurried inside.

But ever since, the jam and the special simper, just for you. And the curry, coating your palate with guilt and shame.

[uncleglen]

'Christmas' or Xmas is pagan and characterised by stuffing your face, general festivities to celebrate nature and therefore bringing greenery indoors- it was hijacked by christians and Jesus was probably born in September.

[KalamityKel]

Annette Curtain Wrote:

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> Oh nomsy

>

>

> Even better, I recycle them back within that group

> who gave them. I'm often amazed how many crap

> gifts you can palm off, and back onto those you

> detest.

>

You give presents to people you don't like??? *confuzzled*

[maxxi]

NomDePlume Wrote:

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> Christmas despite popular (dis)belief is for

> Christians and not a subject for rhetoric and

> ridicule,

But rhetoric and ridicule, with a hefty dose of science and logic if one is in the mood, are the only approproate reponses to Christianity per se.

*Stop it, stop it, yule only annoy the god botherers

[KalamityKel]

Hahahaha!

[Salsaboy]

Remember, a dog is not just for Christmas.

If you carve it carefully, you can have it in sandwiches on Boxing day.