Gay/Lesbian Parent Group in East Dulwich

[annaj]

Good point Mockney, it's never good when a first time poster is offended or put off.

cazzyr, I honestly think this is misunderstanding and nothing more, but I'm sorry you're offended.

I genuniely hope you find what you're looking for here and enjoy getting involved in some of the chat.

[SeanMacGabhann]

not the first post Mockney has posted as me (sniffs...)

[Domitianus]

I think Cazzy's response was preposterous and reactionary in the extreme. Get a f***ing life woman! It seems that in your world view if non gay/lesbians make assumptions without checking their facts - they are indulging in stereotypes. If they politely ask questions to try and understand you lifestyle and experiences - they are homophobic. What a load of BS! You are creating a no-win situation for other people.

If you want your post only to be read by gay/lesbian parents post it on a gay/lesbian message board. This is an inclusive discussion board. Can I emphasise the words "inclusive" and "discussion"?

Wind your neck in and stop thinking the world is against you!!!!

And before you ask, I have a gay colleague who has adopted a child with his partner and who has been very appreciative of my supportive curiosity. I suspect he finds it indicative of someone who actually wants to understand his perspective rather than just indulge in assumptions or prejudice.

[lozzyloz]

cazzyr I'm not sure how you managed to deduce that I was somehow comparing gay parents with suicide bombers. When I wrote that, the analogy in my mind was catholics and protestants. Both being Christian and having the same god. Just as gay and hetero people can both be parents yet somehow end up on the opposite side when all they want is the best for their offspring. In other words there are common experiences they can share as well as differences which can bring them together rather than circling in a red magic marker.

I'm truly sorry you've taken such offence. I know it must be difficult sometimes and I guess you possibly have your defences up because you naturally expect a bit of stick. Good luck with finding a group that works for you.

[cazzyr]

Lozzyloz. Apology accepted. Thanks for your last comment.

Domitanius. You are exactly the reason why minority events/groups need to exist!!!!

[Domitianus]

cazzyr Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Lozzyloz. Apology accepted. Thanks for your last

> comment.

>

> Domitanius. You are exactly the reason why

> minority events/groups need to exist!!!!

You are talking offensive claptrap here Cazzy. How dare you imply what you appear to be implying!!!! You initiated this whole dispute by making allegations of homophobia against someone who simply made well meant enquiries (LozzyLoz) and I pointed out that your responses were reactionary, offensive and simply alienated people who wished to actually be supportive. Your last post simply continues in exactly the same vein!

If you have an issue with people from other orientations expressing interest and curiosity about your lifestyle, and feel the need to label such expressions as "homophobia", you obviously have a serious problem interacting with people outside your own "minority group". If that is the case, you might be better off restricting your comments to a "minority group" audience of like-minded people who need to believe that anyone who is not gay/lesbian is automatically homophobic.

Your reactions in a short space of time have been, frankly, absurd, hyper-sensitive and offensive and I suspect that just about every friend/colleague/associate of mine who is gay/lesbian (and there are plenty) would actually be embarrassed by your comments and at pains to point out that they do not represent the attitude of the gay/lesbian community as a whole.

[cazzyr]

However I do love your surname Domiti Anus. It suits you.

[Scruffy Mummy]

tee hee!

[Domitianus]

Domitianus Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> cazzyr Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Lozzyloz. Apology accepted. Thanks for your

> last

> > comment.

> >

> > Domitanius. You are exactly the reason why

> > minority events/groups need to exist!!!!

>

>

> You are talking offensive claptrap here Cazzy.

> How dare you imply what you appear to be

> implying!!!! You initiated this whole dispute by

> making allegations of homophobia against someone

> who simply made well meant enquiries (LozzyLoz)

> and I pointed out that your responses were

> reactionary, offensive and simply alienated people

> who wished to actually be supportive. Your last

> post simply continues in exactly the same vein!

>

> If you have an issue with people from other

> orientations expressing interest and curiosity

> about your lifestyle, and feel the need to label

> such expressions as "homophobia", you obviously

> have a serious problem interacting with people

> outside your own "minority group". If that is the

> case, you might be better off restricting your

> comments to a "minority group" audience of

> like-minded people who need to believe that anyone

> who is not gay/lesbian is automatically

> homophobic.

>

> Your reactions in a short space of time have been,

> frankly, absurd, hyper-sensitive and offensive and

> I suspect that just about every

> friend/colleague/associate of mine who is

> gay/lesbian (and there are plenty) would actually

> be embarrassed by your comments and at pains to

> point out that they do not represent the attitude

> of the gay/lesbian community as a whole.

Let me just elaborate a little. How do you expect people to feel/react when you accuse them of homophobia based on no evidence whatsoever and infer that you object to anyone but gay/lesbian parents taking an interest/responding to a post on a public forum? Not exactly the way to win friends and influence people is it?

[Domitianus]

cazzyr Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> However I do love your surname Domiti Anus. It

> suits you.

Hilarious Cazzy. Really smart. I think I have got the measure of you already and it is not impressive. I suggest you get some Pollyfilla and fill i that chip on your shoulder.

[Scruffy Mummy]

Oohh... Dom - you are such the expert on winning friends and influencing people!

[Domitianus]

Scruffy Mummy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Oohh... Dom - you are such the expert on winning

> friends and influencing people!

I think we are all entitled sometimes to a bit of righteous indignation when someone starts to throw around allegations of prejudice when they are completely unjustified. It doesn't matter what group/background one comes from - even "minority groups" can utter offensive comments to which others are entitled to react with irritation. If a heterosexual had started insulting a gay/lesbian individual on this board I doubt if anyone would have objected to them being put in their place but if the person bandying around the baseless allegations is part of a lesbian couple that have adopted, they get special treatment and are allowed to smear others willy-nilly? Of course they are. I quite understand.

[mightyroar]

indeed.

Can I point out at this point that the opinions of Dom

do not represent the attitude of the EDF community as a whole.

[cazzyr]

Isn't he Scruffy Mummy! A real charmer. Pollyfilla. Domi Anus you'd need a B and Q warehouse to fill yours.

[Domitianus]

mightyroar Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> indeed.

>

> Can I point out at this point that the opinions of

> Dom

> do not represent the attitude of the EDF community

> as a whole.

Which opinions exactly MightyRoar? My objection to other posters being unjustly accused of homophobia? My objection to someone trying to prevent heterosexuals joining in a discussion on gay/lesbian adoption? My statement of my own support for a gay couple who had adopted a child? My pointing out that toilet-humour comments about my username are rather childish? My objection to people taking a confrontational and divisive attitude to posters who try to engage in a public discussion on a public discussion board? I am really keen to know.

[Scruffy Mummy]

Seriously Dom - you are the next Dale Carnegie! I see a book tour and after dinner motivational speeches on the horizon for you!

[cazzyr]

Dom....

Out with anger... in with love ... and remember to breathe

[Domitianus]

cazzyr Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Isn't he Scruffy Mummy! A real charmer.

> Pollyfilla. Domi Anus you'd need a B and Q

> warehouse to fill yours.

Instead of trying to single me out Cazzy, I suggest you go back through this thread and actually identify the number of people who objected to your baseless allegations of homophobia. There were quite a few. I may have been the most offended and therefore the most vocal so it is easy to try to suggest that I am on my own but I think you will find that you put quite a few noses out of joint. As I observed, however, as a lesbian adopter you are always the victim, eh? Always someone out to have a go at you, eh? What reasonable person can blame you if you lash out at innocent people first, eh? How dare anyone actually pull you up on it, eh? (Yes, that is sarcasm!)

You might actually find that the world is a lot more supportive than you imagine if you didn't feel the need to hallucinate homophobia behind every comment and alienate people in the process.

[cazzyr]

Domi..Anus..what ever. Let's meet up for a drink. I think we'd get on fabulously.:)-D

[LostThePlot]

Domitianus Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hilarious Cazzy. Really smart. I think I have

> got the measure of you already and it is not

> impressive. I suggest you get some Pollyfilla and

> fill i that chip on your shoulder.

The one thing that I have picked up from this whole discussion is that I have gone through my whole life, until about 2 mins ago, imagining "Chip On Your Shoulder" as a deep fried chip, not a "Small bit missing" chip....I'm certainly enlightened.

Must say, knowing Loz as I do, the attack on him was a bit unfair, and very very wide of the mark. When i saw this post initally my first thought was..."Why?" (I work in motoring and know quite well a few of the guys in the Gay Classic Car Club and have often thought about asking the same question. Why segregate?)

[Scruffy Mummy]

Ok, All together together now everyone -

'All ya need is love, dom, dom dom dom, All ya need is love, dom, dom dom dom, All ya need is Love, Love. Love is all you need!'

[Domitianus]

cazzyr Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Dom....

>

> Out with anger... in with love ... and remember to

> breathe

Fair enough. We both got heated here and prolly had all our buttons pushed so let's make the peace. I have as long as I can remember stood up for individual rights and freedom of sexuality and have got a lot of flak (and a few punches) for it (even though I was not gay myself).

Consequently I get a little bit touchy when I perceive people making allegations of homophobia where it genuinely is not warranted. There is enough of it about for it not to be useful to identify it where it doesn't exist.

I can appreciate that your decisions about adopting a child must have brought a lot of flak your way and maybe you have had to become tough and alert for such prejudice as a result. Equally, there are others who are alert and react badly to being accused of prejudice that they don't possess and have the bruises to show they stood up against it.

Anyway, off to bed. This post may well have been overtaken by another tirade at my expense by the time I hit the "Post Message" button but I will breathe deeply and try to remain calm. Night all.

[Scruffy Mummy]

And, I always thought the chip on your shoulder was a woodchip - is it really like a chip in a tea cup or glass?

[cazzyr]

Ok,

Night Dom. One question...Adoption? ? Where'd you get that from?

Caz

[mockney piers]

Oh yeah, I'd always gone for woodchip, once jokingly used a fried chip, but never even considered a chip as in a missing bit.

Then there's casino chips, microchips, California Highway Patrols, aaaagh, which is it?!?!