Padded Cell - screech and scream to your hearts content *contains rudeness*

[citizenED]

List of much-missed items: (apologies in advance to Mrs Keef, Lady MacGabhann and Mrs Brendan)

Novels

Lie-ins

Sunday Papers

Tidy House

Unbroken things

Things that are not ripped

Things that are not scribbled on

Easy-going mornings

Evenings without tears

Going out for a drink

Me.

In exchange - daddy, I love you

[SeanMacGabhann]

well if I was hoping for persuasion either way, the balance is definitely going THIS way....

;-)

cheers citizen

[KalamityKel]

awww that's so sweet! Nearly brought a tear to my eye! Offs wots the matter with me... this is no thing to be getting all emotional about! (6) *slaps self*

[citizenED]

"...Evenings without tears..."

of course, that is me and Mrs Citizen sobbing on the sofa at 10pm

[Moos]

Citizen, entirely agree with your list of things missed, and may I add:

Clothes without baby snot on them (nice)

Sponteneity

...and MONEY!

And in exchange (before the age of speech)? A new definition of love, and a smiley little person who thinks you're really, really funny.

[annaj]

Ok, that's enough now parents, this is a ranting thread after all.

If you don't stop all this baby talk I may have to have a little rant myself about the way parents constantly moan about the downsides of having children, whilst simultaneously telling you at length about how it's life-changingly wonderful, completely unlike anything else and something you just won't understand if you're not a mother with a patronising head tilt.

Sorry :-$ rant over

[KalamityKel]

BT get on me fooking nerves! They came in to "adapt" our lines to "2day's technology" All they did was come in "don't worry it'll only take 10 mins" (an hour later) fixed a box to the wall and buggered off... telling us it wouldn't disrupt our lines at all... our CC line has gone down... BT r telling us the engineer is working on a fault on the line and would b back shortly... somehow I don't think BT have told HIM that! *sits twiddling thumbs*

[Moos]

Blimey, Anna.

Although, come to think of it, this IS the ranting thread. Pax.

[KalamityKel]

3 hours later and the BT ppl still don't know wot theyre doing :-|

[Annasfield]

(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6) txt spk (6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6)(6

[mightyroar]

still agree, but perhaps quite not so vehemently. this is the padded cell though.

but what is (6 ? a frown or something?

[Annasfield]

A (6 is what you do when you've been drinking since since lunch time.......

[Annasfield]

A (6 is what you do when you've been drinking since lunch time.......

[PeckhamRose]

So, mightyroar, in the topic entitled something like "What did you achieve today" you would just say,

went shopping

got kid from school

went out to dinner

hehheh

Today typically was out on the motorcycle and I share many problems of road useage with most car drivers.

Not a dispatch rider but had a lot of errands to do around town so did them all today.

On the drive went around to Russell Square, then down to London Bridge, then back home via Tescos Old Kent Road.

Avoided killing about fifteen stupid people who just wondered in the road in front of me usually texting, listening on iPods, or generally not paying attention.

Avoided killing about seven stupid cyclists who undertook large vehicles at speed when I was turning right in front of them.

Despite the apparent existence of (are you kidding?) an ECOLOGY officer in Southwark Council, wasted about 1 gallon of petrol because of the unnecessary one way systems and the inability to do something simple like turning right at the lights because oncoming traffic keeps coming over its own red light when you make the attempt (see other topics for examples of this at Peckham Rye (SE15 and SE22) junctions with East Dulwich Road).

Had to deliver something to the Copleston Road area and then wasted another godknowshowmuch petrol by completely being unable to work out how the hell to get out of that area back to East Dulwich Road because of the one way systems and LACK OF SIGNS TELLING YOU HOW TO DO IT. Really pissed off that such areas like Copleston Road exist where you can not DRIVE OUT OF because a whole bunch of people like to make out they live in an enclosed gated type community. I PAY ROAD TAX I HAVE THE RIGHT TO RIDE AROUND ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE without having to ride miles out of my way when you lot suddenly decide it would be of so luverly if that road was ONE WAY or SHUT or CYCLISTS ONLY or whathaveyou.

Despaired at the many faith schools I drove past - shared earlier poster's view who thinks the government should put money into educating our children and not indoctrinating them with unscientific umproven shite based on some drugged up whacky people including the bastard son of a woman living in the outer reaches of the Roman Empire some two thousand years ago the drunken drug fuelled ramblings of whom form the entire bases of POTUS's foreign policy.

Realised the same poster thinks motorcyclists can not be moral, or something, and despaired at people who think all bikers are the same just because a few bikers are bad.

In my mind then committed all and every single 4x4 driver on the planet, especially short women, to a hell I don't believe in, just for existing and being unable to reach or even find the indicator switch, or even see me in their rear view mirror even if they could reach up that far to look.

Wondered why everytime I ride up to some idiot who is crossing the road just yards from traffic lights and chooses not to see me, I grin with enjoyment at the utter fear on the faces when I am so close to them and they STILL have not seen or heard me and I press the horn and they jump out their skin then SMILE AND WAVE as they run like fuck across the road.

Rode in a bus lane, legally, because of being there at a particular time of day when it was ok to ride in a bus lane, then had to get out of it a bit further up the road because all of a sudden one is then not allowed to be in that bus lane at any time of day. Despaired at stupidity of it and at Ken for suppressing the evidence that showed that bikers being in bus lanes saves bikers lives but such report was suppressed because the cyclists would not like to hear it and everyone wants to please the cyclists.

Nearly rode into a cyclist as I was carefully overtaking a line of traffic, when said cyclist bombed out between cars right in front of me without bothering to check that there might be vehicles or PEOPLE even in the way.

Pissed off at my aim and vowed to do better next time.

Got up Peckham Rye eventually but realised I was happy for having had a fun motorcycle ride through London which is just such a joy, so rode further for the hell of it wasting petrol, drove past Camberwell Cemetery or whatever that one is on Brenchley Gardens, saw someone crying outside it. Stopped the bike and talked with them about their loss.

REALISED I HAVE NOTHING TO BE GRUMPY ABOUT.

Came home and realised I had forgotten to get some dollars on my trip out.

Went back out.

Repeat above.....

[KalamityKel]

Tell me WHY the flying flook do ppl use the only doors that are not open to exit a space? FFS surely there may be a reason for not using them!!!! In the 15mins of my briefing of staff I had to continuously shut the bloomin' doors AND the bloomin' cheek of ppl insisting on ignoring my instructions to exit a different way! (6) I hope when ever I decide to have children I don't lose any common sense and intelligence!

I'm sensing I shall b VERY peed off by the end of the evening... finished by 9pm???? like flook the whole thing will be... more like half ten!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

*breathes deeply b4 going back out into the lions den*

wish me luck!!!

[KalamityKel]

Further to my previous grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring it is now 21.25 they've only just started the second half... my feet hurt from more running around to shut doors, my back hurts in funny places... flook knows y, and I'm tired and grouchy now :(

[HonaloochieB]

The Brothers Grimm.

Thought it was clever to go round scaring kids, didn't they?

Pair of bastards.

[HonaloochieB]

Russell Brand.

In some cicles it appears he's considered a style icon.

Frankly I've seen better dressed wounds.

[Bellenden Belle]

HonaloochieB..... having just stepped out of the shower, I may need to return at the mention of the delectable Brand's name. Whenever I see him, and excuse me here, I may shock..... the word writhing comes to mind. In a rather exquisite way.

It's at times like these I am grateful Mr BB doesn't read these boards...

[HonaloochieB]

Sorry BB but I'm of the opinion he looks like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag.

No offence.

And don't worry I won't dob you in to Mr BB.

[mightyroar]

I'm with you BB. scruffy gothish crumpet.

[Brendan]

What!? He looks like a chick with a beard.

[HonaloochieB]

Graham Norton - I'd Do Anything.

His latest show or the message on his answering machine?

[annaj]

Bellenden Belle ::o

For the first time ever you have utterly shocked me!

Russell Brand definitely not sexy.

Pubertal, self-obsessed, vain and trying too hard. Real men only for me.

[Bellenden Belle]

Okay, deep breath,and I do realise this is where I should be screeching and screaming, instead of yearning and writhing... but AnnaJ, I must respond.

Russell Brand is one of the most fabulous, metrosexual males I have ever come across. Reading interviews with him (and actually I think the interviews have been key) I will unleash the following observations:

Deep breath.... he is intelligent, questioning, curious, challenging, sensitive, vulnerable, both engaging and interested in being engaged; literary (I like the fact he goes away and reads and is interested in learning more), as comfortable hosting BBC4 programmes as Channel 4 rubbish; irritating, yobbish, opinionated, detestable, lovable, surprising, - but above all honest. And all those things makes him terribly attractive.

Seriously .... I've given this some thought.

(Three showers in a day... this is ridiculous!)