Pwopah scary places

[El Pibe]

There was one tale that popped into my head.

I had a very long drinking session in a bar in Madrid with a mate of mine.

We were befriended by a chap who was a little too pushy and friendly but was generous to a fault.

People kept coming up to get his autograph and it turned out he was a retired football player well liked in the city and he had some entertaining stories to tell.

BY 4 in the morning we were all best friends ever and we were going to visit him in his London flat, marry his daughters, that sort of thing, but we had to get to Barajas pronto and were going to flag a cab down.

"nonsense" he said "I'll drive you".

I'm not sure what part of our booze addled brains thought this might in any way shape or form be a good idea, but we got in the car.

By this time he was not really making any sense, driving up the Burgos road which was no route I was familiar with to the airport, and suddenly takes a detour into a weird housing estate, out the other side and into a narrow dusty road going through the empty black desert.

At this time the adrenalin kicks in and we begin to sober up a little. We're now convinced that the autographs were a ploy to win our trust and the booze was plied on us in order to get us into a desert road where he and his autogrph hunter co-conspirators are going to rape us, murder us and bury us under my native soil.

Friend, prone to anxiety on the best of days is in back seat wired disturbinly tight poised to break the chaps neck at the slightest provocation, when the car brakes sharply, and out gets el loco announcing nature's call.

we stared at each other in shock with a 'this is it, great knowing you' look passing between us.

Our new friend pisses all over himself and some of the road before getting back in and passing out.

Noone came to kill us.

I have never been more relieved to be in a strange car in the middle of god knows where, with an hour to make my flight, tossing up which one of us, sans driving licence and five times over the limit, is going to try and get us home.

Eventually he comes to and carries on, it turned out to be an amazing shortcut and we were about a mile from Barajas where we bade less than fond farewell and rapidly hunted down the airport bar.

I didn't marry his daughter.

[RosieH]

Yes, that's right, e-dealer, the RESTAURANT in Chicago with more than 10 floors. That's where I was staying.

Well done.

Do you want me to teach you how to use Google again?

[the-e-dealer]

Doh !

https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?ie=UTF-8&q=Habana+Libre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&fb=1&gl=uk&hq=Habana+Libre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&hnear=Habana+Libre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&cid=0,0,5950553065645657698&ei=2XoCUa-gB6u00QXp04HoDw&ved=0CMcBEPwSMAA

[RosieH]

here you go: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=stalkerish+pedantry+and+slightly+creepy+to+boot

[RosieH]

the-e-dealer Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Doh !

>

> https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?ie=UTF-8&q=Habana+L

> ibre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&fb=1&gl=uk&hq=Ha

> bana+Libre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&hnear=Haba

> na+Libre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&cid=0,0,5950

> 553065645657698&ei=2XoCUa-gB6u00QXp04HoDw&ved=0CMc

> BEPwSMAA

you'll see in my post I said "habana libre hotel". Are you a moron?

[Otta]

Sorry accidental post.

[Ted Max]

"Siri, find 'Rosie sweaty lift drunk rum hotel Cuba pictures'"

Sorry, weird speech to text glitch there.

[the-e-dealer]

Don't be nasty it's friday!

[PeckhamRose]

Great thread. What a mixed and well travelled lot we are.

My small contribution:

I was living with my Aunt in San Fernando Valley just north of Los Angeles and had been invited out for an evening by the guy that sold me the motorcycle insurance for the bike I had bought for while I was there. (He would later tell me how he had had to build up courage to ask me out for an evening, as he knew nothing about me other than what I had told him on the phone in order he complete the insurance application form! We had no idea of the other, though I had rung a local bike paper he advertised in and they said he was as safe as houses and they knew him.)

I rode down to Downtown area to meet him as I insisted I knew the way.

But I got a little bit lost in South Central Los Angeles on a Saturday night alone riding a motorcycle.

Yet I was curious too. Black families literally living on the streets and gang colours draped over the street signs, and a few streets blocked off, fires glowing here and there, and a very strong sense of doom, something from that Michael Douglas film Falling Down. Gun fire. Sirens. And groups of black youth blocking certain streets and all watching me as I rode past, some clearly holding guns.

But what I love about America is that all street signs exist on every junction. I managed to find my way out back to the freeway. When I told my 'friend' of my detour his face blanched! We had a lovely evening, and no we didn't(!)

[Ted Max]

Cheers all, some decent scenarios for cheap, grainy reconstructions and a trembly voice-over.

[david_carnell]

It's a pretty accurate description (KidKruger excepted) of any Woss Kemp tv show. All show and no go.

A dodgy voice over but nothing bad actually happens does it?

[steveo]

I got marooned in the Chilterns and had to eat my own child type thing

(That actually happened)

[Siduhe]

Sakhalin. 2004. Like the Wild West but with more oil and gas and less women. None of us (me and three guys, all flown out from London to deal with a particular issue) slept much that week.

[KidKruger]

Steven: "....had to eat my own child type thing"

Jesus !!

WHAT does a child type thing taste (or look) like ????

[the-e-dealer]

Yum Child!

[El Pibe]

I ate empanadas made from frshly slaughtered kids in Argentina. Blimmin' delicious.

[KidKruger]

Ooooh, yer getting me hungry now. Maybe they sell child-type-thing empanadas at the Colombian cafes in Brixton market ?

[steveo]

What about jerk child and ting?

[Marmora Man]

steveo Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I got marooned in the Chilterns and had to eat my

> own child type thing

>

> (That actually happened)

Check it out: http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

[KidKruger]

"What about jerk child and ting ? "

Oh YEEEAAHHH !!

Loverly wiv dem Red Stripe !

[Jessie]

I ended up in a Moroccan police station for 2 days after my ex crashed a rental car and broke 2 of my ribs, just after sept 11 2001. Felt pretty scary at the time.

[steveo]

Yes, I've been in a Moroccan police station while the senior officer told me in French that if I didn't shut my mouth he was going to personally kick me to death.

I replied, 'Pardon monsieur, je ne comprends pas,' but I'd comprended alright.

I was scared

[uncleglen]

Getting stuck ( with a friend which makes all the difference) in the middle of the night on a hillside next to Trawsfynedd power station trying to hitch hike and realising no-one was coming. Pitch dark, no torch, food or drink.

[Help-Ma-Boab]

North Wales, near Bangor? Helped to build that power line years ago. Trust me you were safer up there than The Octogan Nite Spot in Bangor the first Wednesday of every month...

uncleglen Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Getting stuck ( with a friend which makes all the

> difference) in the middle of the night on a

> hillside next to Trawsfynedd power station trying

> to hitch hike and realising no-one was coming.

> Pitch dark, no torch, food or drink.

[Annette Curtain]

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> the-e-dealer Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Doh !

> >

> >

> https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?ie=UTF-8&q=Habana+L

>

> >

> ibre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&fb=1&gl=uk&hq=Ha

>

> >

> bana+Libre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&hnear=Haba

>

> >

> na+Libre+-+Noble+Square+-+Chicago,+IL&cid=0,0,5950

>

> >

> 553065645657698&ei=2XoCUa-gB6u00QXp04HoDw&ved=0CMc

>

> > BEPwSMAA

>

>

> you'll see in my post I said "habana libre hotel".

> Are you a moron?

He is a moron.