Quiet room...

[KalamityKel]

Oooo thank you kindly! In return would you care for a foot massage? I'm rather good wiv my hands :)) *rumages through Mary Poppins style bad for some nice smelling lotion*

[Moos]

Why, thank you!

Hang on you lot, I was here first!

*sighs and joins back of queue*

[dulwichmum]

Sits quietly in quiet room sobbing into hankey.

"I'm missing Mr Pologlopalot so very much indeed. It is frightful..."

*(wail)*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Wanders into QM wearing Greek fishermans garb - cut off cotton breechesi.e. a deep burnished tan and a wicked glint in the eye*

*Ah, Dulwichmums, let me takes you for a long night time trawl in my very snug fishing smack. My tackles are in need of oiling before a long night of sweaty toil beneath the stars, perhaps you could ..... help*

[dulwichmum]

Dear Sweet Michael,

Thank God you are back, but you must be drunk! What is the QM, and what is a fishing smack? I am afraid that I have no interest in your tackles, but give me a hug dear heart, and did you bring me anything from the discount/duty free shop thingy? I could murder an enormous Toblerone!

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Have some olives and be grateful :))*

[Moos]

All is still. Enter Moos, singing uncharacteristically tunelessly:-

"All By Mysssssssssssseeee-elf. Don't wanna be. All By Myseeeeeeeeeeeelff. AnyMore.

All By Myseeeee-ee-eelf. Don't wanna be! All BY MYYYYY-SELF. ANY MOOOOOOOOORE!!!" (etc.)

[Michael Palaeologus]

*You know all of those lost cats that have been reported in the past 12 months? I have found them in here and they are all copulating at one and the same time*

*Hurls large bucket of iced water in general direction of wailing*

[Moos]

That's the second time tonight someone has poured iced water on me.

*picks up empty bucket, fills it with blackcurrent jam and sloshes over Pinkyperkygus*

[citizenED]

*sighs*

*huffs*

*stretches*

*scratches*

*yawns*

*gurgles*

*giggles*

*Is that a wet moggy in the corner - or a drowned rat?*

[dulwichmum]

Would anyone like to join me for an olive and a glass of Ouzo?

[Moos]

I thought you'd never ask. Mmm. Ooh, look it's gone all cloudy.

[dulwichmum]

Lets throw it in the bin and crack open a bottle of Krug?

[Moos]

Very wise, we would not want to risk our health. Champagne flute, or would you care to drink it from this handy vat?

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Wanders in. Spots Moos and DM slumped next to an empty barrel, smells of .... wine of some sort*

*Pops out to Neros*

*Places two large, strong Americanos next to the gently snoring ladies*

*Quietly withdraws*

[Moos]

*snuffle, snort*

*enticing scent of coffee wafts over*

Oh, Michael Palelypushedagust, I forgive you your wicked water-throwing antics, you are officially Today's Favourite Man!

[dulwichmum]

*Leans over to pour some Baileys into coffee.*

*Smiles sweetly thinking of darling Michael, slumps back on sofa.*

[KalamityKel]

*pops in room to grab a few bottles of champers sneekily left in the corner under a coat*

[dulwichmum]

Holds out empty glass to Kalam - "top me up dear heart..."

[Michael Palaeologus]

"DM, sadly Kalam has nicked the champers, no doubt to share with her mystery Gentleman Friend"

"Have a splosh of neat Gin that will get you going"

*Glugs half a pint of 100% Geneva into the glass held by DM's tremulous and liver-spotted hand*

[KalamityKel]

*Pops back in with one bottle left over*

*disappointed that the boys couldn't quite handle THAT much champers*

*frowns at MP for comments about the "mystery gentleman"*

Help yaselves :p

[dulwichmum]

*Gazes lovingly at Kalam.*

"I may already be a little squiffy, but I can always find room for some bubbly!"

[Michael Palaeologus]

*This would explain why DM is feeling unwell*

*Opens the french windows wide, breathing in the glorious fresh air from Goose Green*

*There seems to be the sound of mayhem and rioting, armed police and helicopters. Just another Monday morning at Goose Green Primary, all is well in the world*

[dulwichmum]

*Raises hand from sick bed and waves to chums.*

"whimper"

[Moos]

Odd's bodkins! Her mumnesty is unwell!!

Madam, allow me to offer you a stiff hot whisky toddy. Just enough lemon, and a sniff of honey, but basically a great big splosh of whiskeeeeeeeeeeeeey.