Quiet room...

[dulwichmum]

"Thank you"(whispers)...sigh, gulp, thud, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Lawks, I think that a temperature needs to be taken*

*How would James Herriott tackle this?*

*Extracts enormous thermometer from carpet bag and strides toward the recumbant DM with a glint in the eye*

[dulwichmum]

*Reaches pale hand into enormous handbag beside sick bed.*

*Removes granade and pulls out pin.*

*Tosses explosive at special chum...*

Gasps: "Take that you swine"

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Please, if you are going toss things about - spell them right - its GRENADE or Mills Bomb in the Great War, you must remember that :))*

*Dusts self down, flicking shards of glass and globs of mercury across the Quiet Room*

*Tsk, a trifle testy DM, are you feeling chesty?*

*How about a Vicks rub down?*

*Dons kevlar jacket and jock strap and pulls out huge tub of fragrant gel - approaches the reinforced bed, again*

[citizenED]

*wow, its a little "fragrant" in here*

*dons the customary blinkers so as not to offend own delicate sensibilities*

*b-lines to bar trying not to be contaminated by bed show*

[dulwichmum]

"Help, someone help me please."

"Mr Popadogpoo is looming towards me accross the room..."

[KalamityKel]

*comes running into room wiv cricket bat at the ready and almost in full swing* :))

[dulwichmum]

"Kalam darling, thank God you are here, lets cellotape him to that bar stool and do our worst!!!"

[KalamityKel]

::o but he's sooooo hairy!!! Is that not just mean and wrong? Ah sod it he's a man...

*warms hands up* ;-) :))

[dulwichmum]

Don't warm your hands up sweetie, lets be cruel! I was wondering if I shouldn't in a waxing specialist and give him a BS&C!

[KalamityKel]

I believe he may enjoy such a treat... hmmm a pedicure may be more appropriate ;-)

[Michael Palaeologus]

*WADYAMEAN "He's so hairy" - I am not in the least bit hairy*

*Not fair, two against one - then again, threesome! Result!*

*Do your worst ladies!*

*You seem to be a bit better DM*

[KalamityKel]

::o r u bald? Darn all those mental images I had of ya... all... gone *gasps in shock*

*goes off to find "industrial" file*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*I am not sure I like the idea of you having mental images of me Kalam; is this appropriate for an unmarried maiden such as your lovely self?*

*You should stay away from those industrial files, they give a nasty paper-cut and there's no mistakin'*

[KalamityKel]

*raises eyebrow*

*wonders wot kind of images MP finks one might be having*

*chuckles to self*

*looks at file and at MP*

>:D<

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Legs it*

[KalamityKel]

*chuckles some more*

*wonders y ppl often do that in her presence* :'( hehe

[Moos]

*enters Quiet Room, dragging a man with sausage fingers by the ear*

Ladies, I believe you were looking for Michael Ploppygut? I found him trying to escape disguised as a washer-woman.

All yours.....

[dulwichmum]

Hurrah, (rubs hands together gleefully) lets bathe him first!

Produces pressure washer from behind favourite armchair and laughs as perfect Moos chains My Ploppyguts to the far wall!

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Wiggles nose*

*Disappears*

[dulwichmum]

Waves wand, summons him back ... ZAP!

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Hurles bolt of purest lightning at the devilish DM and whilst she is in disarray dashes into the one place that she cannot follow me*

*The Gents*

*Drops slacks, sits on privvy, opens paper*

[Moos]

Shucks, DM, and we would have done it if it hadn't been for those pesky skids.

Oh well. Now, who's for an apple Martini?

[dulwichmum]

Thanks Moos for perfect tipple. Waves want:

*ZAP*

"Why Michael, my tiny man, you have arrived just in time to have these Botox injections! I am so very curious to see how they work!"

[citizenED]

*pours another drink*

*bartend is still absent so feel justified in helping self*

*starts sketching out plans for new comic novel*

*wonders if DM could just remain still enough for me to sketch her*

*would make a valiant hero*

*vamp meets nicole fahri*