Quiet room...

[Moos]

Not that worried by the donkey, milord. It's the cucumber sticking out of it that frightens me.

[SeanMacGabhann]

* hear that, yo *

[Moos]

Michael, please may I have a slice of that cucumber? Finished my Mojito, quite fancy a Pimms.

[Brendan]

*Slams open the cupboard doors ? *

*Bursts out: resplendent in paisley dressing gown and weekend curlers, sporting a shadow of the 5 o?clock variety with fag in one hand and bottle of ED?s finest, locally-sourced Lambrini in t?other*

What the cock is everyone making so much noise in here for at this time on a Friday evening. Some of us are trying to achieve nirvana here, don?t-cha-know.

? the one in the corner that until recently was obscured by the decaying Christmas tree (but you knew that didn?t you)

[Moos]

Mum!

[Brendan]

What?!?

*Holds monocle up to his good eye and inspects the creature claiming heredity*

*Wonders if this has something to do with all that fuss with the supermodel and the safety pins back in the nineties*

oooh look a donkey?. and is that a painting or is Blackpool tower materialising in the background?

[Moos]

Sorry, my mistake. My mum is much more butch.

*wanders off in search of Kal and DM, swinging bottle of champagne insouciently in order to cover inability to get supermodel/pins reference*

[SeanMacGabhann]

* was it something I said ? *

* I knew those mint leaves could have been fresher, but still *

[Brendan]

*titters*

she thinks it is some kind of a valid reference and not just the random rantings of a demented forumphyl.

[Moos]

Sean, Sean thank God you're still here! This maniac is claiming to be my mother!!

[Brendan]

Listen all I?m saying is if I can get the odd Sunday roast and a Christmas present out of it, where?s the harm?

[Moos]

The 'tache will have to go. Or at least trim it down a bit.

And what's the thing about safety pins?

[Brendan]

* Tosses empty Lambrini bottle into the fire *

* Opens the multi-dimensional, musical liquor cabinet and takes out another bottle of zen *

It?s always the same innit.

?Lose the tache?

?Explain the safety pins?

This is like the convent all over again.

[Moos]

There are no questions. Only answers. Om.

Gosh, that zen stuff is good.

[Brendan]

The aim is to metaphysically become one with the Lambrini

*wonders why there is a donkey in here*

[Moos]

*thinks sadly that if only Michael hadn't consumed too much zen juice and passed out dribbling slackly on the floor he could explain it to us*

[????]

*stumbles in with can of Stella

FUCK ME IT'S QUIET IN HERE

*Exits

[Brendan]

QUIET!

QUIET!

.. oh yeah quiet. shhh

* sticks rollup behind ear and exhales... oooommmmmmm. *

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Whispers*

"Its Mrs DobbinNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

[dulwichmum]

Michael! I sooo do not look like a donkey, how very dare you.

I am actually convinced that I can smell an animal in this room - have you brushed your fangs lately? Now everyone clear off while I get on with some damp dusting...

http://www.sajwebdesign.co.uk/images/dusting.jpg

[SteveT]

I would rather stay and watch if it is not considered too voyeuristic;-)

[KalamityKel]

na just pervy :p

[SteveT]

Sounds alright to me, so I'll stay and watch and change my name to percymacpervy;-)

[dulwichmum]

Here you are darling Mr SteveT, why don't you give me a hand, I believe the litrene needs scrubbing...

I can't stand it if the privey is not sparkling and my cleaner is not answering my texts!

http://www.sebastianheroiu.com/_760x520_02-01/art_direction/domestos_portrait-a4.jpg

[bagpuss78]

*pootles in*

*throws self on very enormous purple sofa and presses buttom on very enormous and clever purple sofa, electronic arm hands bagpuss ice cold beer....nice*

*thinks it been so long since i have been in the quiet room...closes eyes as stevet and DM walk by with marigolds, bleach and scourers in hand*

*prentends to be asleep, doesn't want to be roped into cleaning*