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The Experiment: How friendly are we in East Dulwich??


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In the old days (when I was much younger) and most men wore hats, it was simple to tip your hat to someone in a friendly, (but not obtrusive) gesture - I still do when someone stops at a crossing to let me cross - but then I am old enough still to wear a hat (not a cap) when out.


Hat etiquette (like the friendly gesture of offering a cigarette to a stranger in a pub) is something of the past - although a very long-time no smoker (and very glad to be so) - the offering of a pack at social occasions was an excellent ice-breaker, and when ciggies were relatively cheap not so intrusive as offering a drink, which offer carried with it too much obligation if accepted.

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OK, maybe I overcooked my response, but I wasn't trying to be (or think I was) unpleasant. I was just using hyperbole to demonstrate (or not) that your rules of engagement are quite, um, hardcore (IMO).


Try to imagine me laughing as I say the last sentence, with tongue firmly in cheek.

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It's been a few days and the response has been mixed. To keep it genuine I've sometimes said hi or simply smiled rather than saying good morning to every single person I've come across. Older people have been much more friendly and always respond, under 50s response has been mixed; some react to a smile while others suddenly become very interested in their shoes! I have to admit I did struggle at first and felt awkward doing it but now it's becoming natural and anticipating their response is fun. My neighbour several doors away who i've never spoken to started a conversation with me since I bumped into them over the weekend and said good evening... they're helping me fix my bike next weekend so the experiment continues
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mikki100 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> It's been a few days and the response has been

> mixed. To keep it genuine I've sometimes said hi

> or simply smiled rather than saying good morning

> to every single person I've come across. Older

> people have been much more friendly and always

> respond, under 50s response has been mixed; some

> react to a smile while others suddenly become very

> interested in their shoes! I have to admit I did

> struggle at first and felt awkward doing it but

> now it's becoming natural and anticipating their

> response is fun. My neighbour several doors away

> who i've never spoken to started a conversation

> with me since I bumped into them over the weekend

> and said good evening... they're helping me fix my

> bike next weekend so the experiment continues


Sounds wonderful - keep it up. I often smile at strangers, especially on the bus, and frequently it elicits a delayed response. It's terribly sad, that folk get smiled at so infrequently that it takes them a second or two to figure out what's going on and respond. Well done you.

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I find that people only recognised me when I'm with my dog. I say hello and even exchange a few words with people on a regular basis. When I don't have my dog with me, they look at me as if I'm mad. I think dog people must only see people who are 1-2 feet tall!
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