Average cost of a wedding. WTF?!?!?

[Otta]

According to the woman doing "thought for the day" on Radio 4 this morning, the average price of a wedding these days is ?20k+.

Why in the name of all that is good and holy would anyone spend that much?

[Mrs TP]

I heard that too! Bonkers, but can imagine it mounting up with all the frills and spills.

We had a much more modest affair, nothing that would interest the likes of Hello / Closer etc.

However, each to their own.

[Otta]

Indeed. We just wanted a great party and I think we achieved it. Probably cost around ?5k for absolutely everything.

I have foubd that the flashiest weddings tend to be the more dull ones to be honest.

[Floating Onion]

When Mrs. Onion & I got married (3 years ago) the average price was somewhere around ?24k. We spent a lot less than that & had a great day, certainly not dull! I'm not sure what people spend money on to get to those kinds of figures.

Quite scary when the average wedding cost is near the average UK salary!

[Otta]

Of course you had a great day, you had a great band! ;-)

I think the most expensive things are flashy venues and food. We were lucky that my best man's dad is a retired chef and did us a great bargain.

[Beagle]

I was listening too but more worried by the opinion of the vicar that the expense distracted from people's anxieties that the marriage wouldn't work. Did I misunderstand her? I was offended by that assertion. I think people marry in good faith. A girl in my office is getting married "we have to have a photo booth" ! She remarked once it hit 14k you stop worrying and keep spending . . .

[womanofdulwich]

No wonder couples do not get married.

A former colleague got married last year and it was held at a venue which specialised in weddings. in the evening there was a disco with bacon butties. he had to pay ?7.50 per bacon butty. Its all a rip off.

[LondonMix]

It's mostly the food,and head count that swing the costs of a 24k wedding that high. Also the entertainment. You can easily (if you want to) spend 100 a head on food and drink throughout the day if you have an open bar, dinner, snacks to keep people going until the wee hours of the night etc. 150 guests and there is the majority of your costs right there...

Everything else is pretty standard unless you do something very flashy with flowers. A live band can cost a lot though as can the outfits... I know one woman who spent 1.5k just on her veil!

Your budget is mostly down to how many people you invite, how much you feed them, and if you give them all the booze they want. I agree though that the weddings I have enjoyed the most weren't the most expnesive ones. Its the people who attend that make a wedding fun or not (like any party really)!

[alieh]

I would have said "no way" until I planned a wedding. Nothing super flash, a marquee at my parents house, bare feet and no proper wedding outfits....but we wanted nice food and open bar and a live band. With a hundred or so guests drinking and eating from about 4 pm to the early hours that adds up very quickly! Add in a tricky site logistically, so need for transport (in our case boats and buses!) and it was not a cheap day! But very memorable and special for us.

[Chillaxed]

They're (too) expensive, but 24 grand sounds awfully high. The very top end, Ecclestone-style weddings must skew the average - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/motorsport/formulaone/f1news/8882383/Bernie-Ecclestones-ex-wife-spent-12-million-on-daughters-wedding.html

The hubby looks like a trustworhty, down-to-earth chap though.

[Trish]

So does anyone have any great tips for keeping the costs down? I'm planning my wedding for next year. So far have field for free and will need to hire a marquee and furniture. I'm thinking a BBQ for food. About 80 guests including 24 children!

[alieh]

I think limiting the length of the event would make a huge difference. When you have people there for 8 or 10 hours they need several rounds of food/snacks and loads of drinks! Could you do cash bar, at least for part of the evening? That's lots of kids so they should be cheaper to keep fed and watered!

The extra bits to do with marquee and furniture can really add up - chair covers, flowers, centre-pieces, etc. We spent a bunch of time in advance making very inexpensive decorations using branches, etc. from the forest, didn't bother with flowers, etc. But did go for chair covers, etc.

One thing I wouldn't scrimp on is paying to have someone sort the clean up for you. I wish we had done this! The caterers cleared up all of their equipment, etc. at the end of the evening but we had to do loads of clean up the next day.....bottles, cigarette butts, etc.

It depends on how casual you want it to feel - I think if people are all dressed up in fancy frocks, suits, etc. then you probably have to spend a bit more to make the feel of the event fit that formality. We went with super casual, so could be easier for the decor to also be casual. But 8-10 hours of great quality food and booze still cost a bomb!

[midivydale]

This why I want to elope!

[astrid83]

My husband and I got married 2 years ago and we kept the cost down by not getting married in the UK, but in Sweden (where I am from). I think that as soon as you mention the word wedding here, the cost doubles. Specially in London!

We spent less than 10K (which for us is a lot!!) and had a beautiful wedding with approx 80 guests. We got married in a church from 12th century, then had the reception at a hotel which we had to ourselves by the third biggest lake in Sweden. The staff at the hotel set the table and decorated so we did not have to worry about that. We had transport from the church for ourselves and the guests, a three course meal including bubbly and canapes, staff that served all the meals, wedding cake, coffee and whiskey, free bar all night and a live band....

I'm pretty sure the same wedding in England would have been over 20K!

[Chillaxed]

If you need to save, pls don't save on the booze and have a cash bar.

If you have loads of free booze the guests won't notice that they're in the local church hall with Now That's What I Call Music 67 on loop.

[Saffron]

Hahahahaa! That' brilliant. Really made me laugh. :)

[LondonMix]

Hmm, a marquee can be expensive when you add in all the extras (including hiring toilets). If you can stretch to it, I would just pick a venue that can do both the ceremony and the wedding that is naturally very beautiful. That way you can save on decor without it feeling drab. I think the Horniman museum is a great example of that. http://www.horniman.ac.uk/media/_file/TheHornimanConservatorySlideshowJuly2012.pdf

Other tip is really to only invite people you really care about. If you haven't seen someone for eons, you probably aren't really that close anymore. One popular solution is to have just close family and friends at the ceremony and dinner but then have lots more people over for the party. You can negotiate with some places to bring your own booze for a corkage fee (and then buy in bulk discounts whenever you see an offer).

Lean on friends (aspiring DJ's, aspiring photographers) to pitch in! Also, I think you can rent your wedding dress (a friend mentioned this to me recently which sounds like a great idea if you want a posh frock for the evening but aren't sentimental about keeping a gown you'll never wear again in your closet).

Like others said, they longer the day, the more expensive it gets. My wedding went from 2pm until 4am which is what I wanted but it really adds to the food and drink bill :) If its not important to you then have a short wedding!

[Saffron]

If you haven't done so already, start an Excel spreadsheet to help you track and compare costs.

[alieh]

Have to agree that if cost is the main factor, a marquee may not be the best option. It seems cheaper at first - free venue! But then all the little bits really do add up.

[pandrns]

surely it's completely up to you how much you spend on a wedding? i don't understand the snobbery. If you can afford it and you want to - then why not?

[Saffron]

I think a lot of people can't afford it, but still feel pressured to put on a lavish party.

[LondonMix]

Yes, I agree, if you can afford to you should go for it! I have no issue with people throwing a big party with loads of food and booze and great music. I think sometimes there can be an idea of "showing off" that people don't like. However, if you really keep it to peole who know you then its unlikely they will take it that way!

However, the marriage is what's important. Amongst my friends, we've all bought our flats / houses before getting married as from a financial perspective that was the more important thing to us at least.

[Otta]

If you are thinking of getting married abroad, please don't be offended if people don't go. I had to go to Venezuella with wife and 9 month old for one of my oldest friend's weddings, and it cost a feckin fortune!!! And other than the wedding, it wasn't exactly a great experience.

Last year we missed a wedding I was meant to be best man for because they went to Cyprus to save themselves money. I had a 2 week old baby, which provided a good excuse.

This year I'm off to Brittany in September, and chances are the wife and kids will have to stay home because we just can't afford to go to all these weddings!

Why can't everyone just get married in bloody Peckham!!!

[kittysailing]

Helps if your from a Northern Seaside town - half the price and twice the fun - at this fabulous Art Deco hotel - the full shebang Potted shrimps from the bay, Lakeland lamb and cartmel sticky toffee pudding champagne cocktails and lots of art deco seaside vintage fun for 120 people 5k all in!!! ( it has 44 rooms and we booked them all so akin to an exclusive hire)

http://englishlakes.co.uk/hotels/lancashire-hotels/the-midland-hotel-morecambe/index.aspx

[cathy p j]

There is another way.

We are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary today. After living together for 16 years, we finally got married at Southwark Registry Office on 16th May 1998 at 3 weeks' notice, on cup-final day (it seems that not many people want to get married on that day!) We invited a few very close friends to join us at the ceremony and afterwards we all drank champagne in our back garden and ate lovely food that we had prepared and cooked ourselves. I didn't keep a record of what we spent, but it was very little. I know that this wouldn't work for everyone, but it suited us, and a surprising number of friends were very envious of our "bravery". Of course the difficult task was phonong our respective families the next day to explain what we had done...............and they were all really happy for us!