I'm best man - Help!

[MrBen]

I have the great honour of being Best Man at a wedding in a few weeks and it's my first time. I am happy to admit to you that I'm a bit nervous about my speech. That I'll go bright red, freeze and none of my jokes will be funny.

Anyone who knows me reckons I'll breeze it. But inside I am totally bricking it. I've heard of the useful best man websites but I can't help thinking it would be better to be natural and personal than full of generic jokes.

So, I kindly ask for your help. Any tips?! Is my fear normal? Have any of you been there and how did it go? Should I drink before my speech to calm the nerves? Would my gorilla suit help?

[Asset]

Hey MrBen, Mr Asset is in the same boat. Maybe you should get together to write your speeches!

He also started a thread about it a couple of months ago and got some useful replies if you want to do a search.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

Hope we are all invited Ms Asset!

[mockney piers]

I've been there three times, they are all terrifying....absolutely.....terrifying, there is no not terrifying.

My advice is write your best thoughts, keep it witty and be true, just say I love you to everyone, for why would you not.

Plus, if you like, i can lend you a speech.

[blinder999]

I just did this - I think you're right to be wary of the bestmanspeech.com sites, all the speeches/gags on those sites are well-worn, though worth a look as a starting point - as are a few speeches of varying quality on youtube, even if only to warn you about what not to do.

I stayed sober, which was probably for the best. I didn't manage to memorise the speech, though I did write it out and read it through enough times to be very familiar with it, and reading it out turned out fine. I was glad I'd spent a few hours writing it (a week or so before the wedding), and I was still revising it right up to the last minute, and when the time came, in front of an audience, it was a lot funnier than in front of the mirror, which was a relief.

[Keef]

It is scary, but just be yourself. I tried making notes, but had gone through them in a couple of minutes, so then just started winging it, and got a lot more laughs! Or you could do what my best man did and do a half hour long game show involving other friends of the groom, and totally humiliate him! It was bloody great though and very unique! Piers was actually one of the contestants, and helped with the whole thing.

[spadetownboy]

i did a slide show of my mate, got loads of pictures from the day he was born right up until and including the stag,got them converted and basically did a running commentary, some scripted but mostly ad libbed. it went down well particulary the picture of him aged 4 wearing his grandda,s flat cap and sitting on the bog,trousers around ankles pretending to read an upside down racing post. ate up approx 15 mins and garnered plently of laughs.

[????]

I think I possibly hold the world Record for being Best Man (6 times) so may be able to help

[boosboss]

When delivering your speech try not to speak to the whole room at the same time. Pick out certain people in various locations around the room and switch between them (eg 1 rightside 1 middle 1 leftside and 1 toptable). This will give the impression that you're addressing everyone, but won't feel like such a large group. Remember you need to be heard at the back of the room too.

With your speech, section it up when you write it down, that way when your looking up delivering it you will find your place in it if you need to refer to it. Try it out on others beforehand, but not people attending the wedding (jokes aren't as funny second time around!).

Public speaking isn't easy when you're not used to it, but it's an experience you'll enjoy

[SteveT]

Write a list of the items you wish to include.

Talk them all in to a tape recorder.

Keep playing it back until it sounds familiar.

Remove all the errrrrs and ummmmms by playing it back to yourself.

Within a few minutes you will go from being a stumble bum, to some one with a piece of polished, amusing prose.

Talk the speech through every night for a week, prior to giving the real thing and play it back to yourself.

By this time it should be sounding smooth and professional, and you will feel much more confident about the whole thing.

The moment before you give the speech take a few deep breaths, it will calm you down.

Best of luck Mr Ben.

[lozzyloz]

???? Wrote:

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> I think I possibly hold the world Record for being

> Best Man (6 times) so may be able to help

Didn't that speech get a bit tired after the 5th?

[mattham]

I've been a best man and a groom and it's never as tough as you think. So long as you're genuine you can't go far wrong. Remember, no one wants to see the best man die (except, maybe, some of the crueller stags), so it's a bit like being Bob Monkhouse ? you've got all the canned laughter you want. Just don't go on too long; five minutes or so is enough. That'll fly by and leave them wanting more.

[MrBen]

Great. Thanks Gents and Ladies. Your advice is good. Still cacking it tho. I have a structure to my speech - keeping it less than 5 mins and have some good material. The brides brother is giving her away and was lead singer in a well known (and rather bad) 90's boy band - he called me the other night to swap notes. But I have to have a go at that....

I've been told stories of gambling and excessive drinking in Vegas are "inappropriate" but I plan to include a watered down version of events. I also want to switch from the jokes to some genuinely heart warming words about the groom and his bride to be. And charm them. All within 5 minutes. I want to walk away with all the bridesmaids swooning basically.

And then get really drunk. >:D<