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Indeed I do and I'm sure you do to EDOldie. Proper cocaine and none that bloody novocaine crap they use now. Trouble was your mouth would be numb for a fortnight and you'd just end up dribbling and spilling your drinks. Most unfortunate and tiresome especially if you were an alcoholic like I was at that tender early age.
No, no lasting after effects old bean although there has been the odd occasion of a morning when my whole body has shaken like a willow tree and I've had seek; for emergency and medicinal purposes you understand, several very large brandies with my coffee in the morning and then I've been right as ninepence and ready for the rest of the day's deluge.

All this talk of history and such has made me nostalgic.


I remember the days when I could go out with a pound note in my pocket, visit every pub in town, go to a casino, visit an upmarket brothel and order the most expensive whore in the place, have a fish and chip supper and still have enough left over for a taxi home.

I had to take a taxi because of course I had no shoes.


You tell the youngsters today and they don't beleive you.


I don't know.


Bloody kids.

EDOldie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Reminds me of a friend who suffers terribly with

> his Chalfont's discussing his liberal application

> of 'Arse Cream'. One of the guys we were with

> thought he said 'Ice Cream'!!. Oh well, you

> probably had to be there, grapes of wrath and all

> that.


I presume the fellow was from South Africa.

Ms B Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> To change the subject (motion of drawing aside of

> skirts), I noticed the Gowlett was completely

> smoke-free last night. What kind of a pub's that?

> In my day, you could smoke an entire packet of

> Capstan Full Strength passively for the price of a

> small port and lemon.


Or indeed a cloves cordial. In my day pubs didn't have 'decor'. Each one had a bit of flock wallpaper in the saloon and a ceiling the colour of a diseased lung. In the public both the walls and ceilings had the diseased lung motif.

Cheered a chap up after a hard days work at the candle factory I can tell you.

As luck would have it, I find myself in the position of embarking upon what I can only call a 'dirty weekend' in Brighton with a female companion. I feel obliged to apply the 'dirty weekend' title as that would apperar to be traditional. Rest assured myself and my lady friend will both be packing pyjamas and I will of course be visiting my local barber, prior to the excursion to avail myself of his 'additional supplies'. I think we're all sufficiently 'men of the world' to know to what I refer. Even the women.

There are certain requisites that I will need that I don't have access to, and would like some advice on acquiring;

1 - A false marriage certificate, in the names of say, Richard Whitely and Diana Dors, or others if you think it might work better. Though I think that Mr Richard & Mrs Diana Whitely is a winner.

2 - Two false wedding bands, one suitably male, one suitably female. Both 18 carat gold looking, but costing no more than ten pounds. Together. Not each.

3 - Would anyone recommend having flakes of confetti about our persons as we approached the reception? Or might that be laying it on thick?

4 - If we should encounter a bishop on our excursions, should we admit all and beg forgiveness?


Grateful for any thoughts.

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