The Old Fogies Thread

[HonaloochieB]

Thanks Uncle Glen, for keeping us up to date with new poxes. I'll be putting that in my book of diseases that fornicants are liable to.

Ellipsis, it sounds rum, though but. Puts me in mind of one of those ones that eats away at your...

Oh no, I can't carry on! It's just too rotten (oooh, what am I sayin'? I'll be havin' nightmares I tell you).

Where's me sal volatile?

[HonaloochieB]

Eeeh, that's better.

So Uncle Glen, coincidentally I had an Uncle Len who were always a bit different.

Kind and used to assist us wi' our stories, poems and styling.

He went off down to that London and completely disappeared.

Then a couple of three years later we were told we had an Auntie Glenda we could correspond with.

Now I'm not as green as I'm cabbage-lookin' so there were nowt foolin' me.

So might you have any idea where Uncle Len might have got to?

And what Auntie Glenda's address in that London is?

If you need to spend money, then of course I'll reimburse your expenses. I have access to postal orders.

I'll want receipts, mind!

[uncleglen]

Our Uncle Len left London and disappeared to the West Country somewhere...

[HonaloochieB]

The 'gentleman' tasked with the responsibility of driving the vehicle that took me on the first part of my journey

to my place of work this morning.

He managed to deliver me.

In fair condition, other passengers, notwithstanding, certainly in one piece.

But was it necessary for him to have his shirt unbuttoned to the extent one could almost discern with what he'd broken his fast?

I hurried from the conveyance, distrait at his seeming disregard for any bus company dress code.

But at the same time highly and I have to say strangely appreciative of his 'ABS'.

Was it just me?

It was a 343.

[Michael Palaeologus]

My blessed Mothers friend Mrs Beattie has a touch of cancer last year, not too bad. Killed her though.

[HonaloochieB]

Eeh, Michael I've known people die of shame, before they succumbed to the, you know, C-A-N-C-E-R.

I don't know if it's coincidental, but the spreads after t' services were gorgeous on both occasions, RED salmon sandwiches and proper Markses profiteroles.

Almost made us forget t' tragic circumstances of the events.

[HonaloochieB]

Now, I came in here for something, wait.

WAIT. I know I did.

Oooh, I know it were metal, that much I'm certain of.

Now, think, Key? Penknife? Baking tin?

No, leave me, it'll come, sure as sixpence?

[HonaloochieB]

Has anyone got any sixpence pieces?

If you do, send them to that nice Brian May, the queen (I don't judge me), I hear he uses them to 'wring sounds' out of his guitar.

Some find it entertaining, I hear and he married that one out of Eastenders and he thinks badgers are inoffensive, so he's got a pleasasnt disposition I suppose.

But, no it weren't tanners I come in 'ere for. Not that sort of metal.

Eeeh, I'll get mithered any minute, now.

[HonaloochieB]

Cold chisel?

[HonaloochieB]

Oooh, I just remembered, it's me Iron Maiden 'Piece Of Mind' CD I were after, I knew I'd get there soon enough.

That's grand, I can calm down, now. You might say I've 'peace of mind'.

[HonaloochieB]

A finer mind than mine, Bruce Dickinson perhaps, might say the whole thing were 'ironic'.

Not for me to say.

[HonaloochieB]

Sainsburys.

Dog Kennel Hill.

Today.

Till.

Discount vouchers.

Expired.

Given a 'look'.

Saucy Little Madam.

Resisted informing SLM in the loudest voice possible that I've two grandchildren, one studying medicine and t'other in a seminary and letting implication hang.

Exited shop, turned left.

High ground.

[HonaloochieB]

I mean top o' hill, just outside school and high ground - moral.

Thought it best I spelt it out, just in case that little chit were watching.

YES MADAM, YOU!

If you did but know it.

[Captain Marvel]

Up late for a granddad weren't you?

Was Sanatogen involved?

[Annette Curtain]

Gluten free ?

Not down here in the Kent countryside, no!

Combine harvester going all hours of the night

Retired city men in pastel shades, eating in very average pricey restaurants

Once captains of industry, no wonder country's on it's knees

[HonaloochieB]

Is it absolutely, really, completely and it would seem bloody (pardon my French) de riguer (that's the the bloody French for you) that youngsters of 25 or thereabouts just stroll about the place acting as though thay're adults and 'informing' real adults what indeed might be what?

I recall that upstart Mick Jagger trying those shenanigans once and see where that got HIM!

No sympathy for the rogue.

It can't be just me, surely?

[Jah Lush]

It's an unfortunate fact these young upstarts think they know everything. I know I probably did too. What goes around comes around. Bah! is what I say.

[DulwichFox]

I wish that I knew what I know now

When I was younger.

I wish that I knew what I know now

When I was stronger

Rod Stewart.

Foxy..

[maxxi]

It all started when we had to ask the little blighters which button to press to work the thingummy... slippery slope.

[BrandNewGuy]

DulwichFox Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I wish that I knew what I know now

> When I was younger.

> I wish that I knew what I know now

> When I was stronger

>

> Rod Stewart.

>

> Foxy..

Written by the two Ronnie's ? Lane and Wood. Rod's never written a decent song in his life...

[Loz]

BrandNewGuy Wrote:

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> Written by the two Ronnie's ? Lane and Wood. Rod's

> never written a decent song in his life...

Maggie May and The Killing of Georgie weren't too bad.

[????]

He's alive, Huzzah and xxx Honnie

[BrandNewGuy]

Loz Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> BrandNewGuy Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

>

> > Written by the two Ronnie's ? Lane and Wood.

> Rod's

> > never written a decent song in his life...

>

> Maggie May and The Killing of Georgie weren't too

> bad.

Maggie May was good (though co-written with Martin Quittenton), but The Killing Of Georgie was ghastly schmaltz.

[steveo]

Most people should be shot regularly but the young especially

[HonaloochieB]

???? Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> He's alive, Huzzah and xxx Honnie

I welcome your joy at my continued survival and am chuffed to NAAFI breaks you're still vigourously patrolling the EDF yourself.

But while I appreciate the sentiment, lets stow the xxx's eh, old top.

This is after all London, not ruddy Mayfair.