Au Pair at Christmas

[jollymummy]

Hi,

Any advice on my current dilemma would be much appreciated.

We have just had an au pair/mothers help start and we pay her ?150 a week, she has only been with us a week but already we can tell she is totally lovely and great with the kids. She is Australian and has been in the country 6 months.

She does not have any plans for Christmas or New year, however we have plans to spend it with my husband's family. I would have really liked her to have plans over this period but I don't want her left at home alone so am going to invite her to the in-laws for Christmas (if they agree!).

I imagine she will offer to help as anyone would do when staying at someone's home but we won't require her to officially work so her time will be her own to spend as she pleases.

So my questions is, do we say she will have to take it as holiday entitlement and deduct however many days from her annual entitlement or treat it as a regular working time period and not deduct any holiday days? Obviously she will get the bank holidays as standard but I am wondering about the wraparound days.

Thx!

[womanofdulwich]

Tricky one- I would ask your inlaws first- if she can come and help out? if for example you can delegate her to do 2 families ironing etc etc then that is not a holiday

I think you have to pay her but I think you should just be open with her- once you have squared up with your in laws, you should be able to have an open conversation with her- maybe now is a good time to talk about your future holiday plans so she can plan in advance. What has she been doing for the past 6 months in the uk?maybe she has some mates from then?

Maybe she would prefer to stay in your house and take it as holiday, or maybe this is the time to ask her if she wants to do things like clean out all your cupboards etc etc.

If you are taking it out of your holidays , and you have the same days as her, then you will have to be careful you don't run out of holidays your self.

Good luck

[jollymummy]

Thanks for replying WOD, we are taking the Christmas period as holiday and we are also having a week pre-Christmas for a skiing holiday where the au pair is staying at home, not having holiday deducted. I am a bit nervous that we might run out of holidays to cover the ones she wants next year.

We haven't got the ok from the in-laws but if they say yes then the au pair will not be expected or 'allowed' to do any work in their house as my MIL would feel awkward about it.

As you say, tricky.

Anyone else got an opinion? Thx

[fl0wer]

If I were the au pair I would like to be asked to say what my preference would be.

For instance perhaps she has a UK friend she could invite to spend Christmas with her at your house. This would have an advantage of leaving it with someone caretaking.

Or perhaps she would really be flattered to get treated as a member of the family and stay at MiL's with all the rest of you. If the inlaws want to go off to midnight mass or whatever, your au pair can babysit. Christmas is a really intense time for young children and she might want to take part in the excitement.

[jollymummy]

We have already floated the idea of having Christmas with us at the MIL's as we wanted to get an idea of her plans. I have specifically asked her if she has plans or anyone she would live to spend it with but she has said she has no plans, doesn't know anyone to spend Christmas with and if we go, she will come with us.

If the MIL gives it the green light I am happy for her to come but I am in danger of using all my holiday to cover school holidays and then be left with none for when she wishes to take it.

Do you think it reasonable to suggest she takes her holidays within the school holidays for the coming year?

[kittysailing]

First world problems!

[jollymummy]

Your point?

[cazfay]

Sigh kittysailing, half the things posted on tho forum are 'first world problems' suggest if you're not keen on such things you're in the wrong place.

Jollymummy, I would suggest that she's entitled to Xmas Day and Boxing Day off, as public holidays, e.g not from her annual leave entitlement. If she joins your family on these days she's a guest. Either side of them she either chooses to work & get paid, or take as annual leave. And she has the choice of coming with you, or spending it at your home alone or with a friend. If she chooses to stay at home, and you are away say 3 days- Xmas eve, Xmas day and Boxing Day then she needs to take 1 days leave (Xmas eve) if she comes with you, she works it.

[canela]

it depends a bit on your relationship with her, i.e. whether or not you need a break from her. if you are all getting on fine and she has nowhere to go at Christmas, I would take her along as part of her normal working time but explain that it will all be a bit different and she should just muck in when needed. I'm sure that even if MIL doesn't want to feel like there is someone working, everyone will be grateful for an extra pair of hands and some help with the kids. you will be able to have some lie-ins and time sitting round reading the paper.

[jollymummy]

Thanks very much for your imput guys. I had assumed two bank holidays and I will give her the choice as you suggest Cazfay. We are getting on fine but it would be nice to have some family time with just the family but I feel awful if she were home alone.

We normally head away for 2 weeks at Christmas but I can see this changing if she comes with us so realistically it will probably just be a day or two either side of Christmas. I was thinking that if she does come with us at Christmas then I wouldn't feel so bad telling her she has to make her own plans for New Years Eve. She has said she also has no plans for then but I really feel we should be able to have this time to ourselves.