House Guests?

[seamusmac]

This is my plight.

I wisely or unwisely invited an acquaintance who is looking for a flat to come and stay with us rather than have he,his wife and their two young boys stay in a hotel. I thought it would all be fine as our kids love visitors and we have the room to accommodate them but within 24hrs things are beginning to disintegrate. Their boys are unruly, the husband is loud to the point of waking our kids from their oh so precious afternoon naps, they spend all day sprawled over our sofas and his wife has had the gall to dump their laundry on our nanny along with requesting that she prepare her some lunch. Were she not two months pregnant I could have asked them to leave there and then.

I am not the best person when it comes to confronting people when their behavior irritates me as my Gaelic temperament quite often boils over rather rapidly and to be blunt, I loose it!!.

Question for all you forumites is what would you do in this situation, I have had a quiet word with the husband but I think I have probably offended them by requesting they respect the routines of our house.

[ClareC]

How long are they staying? How good friends are they?

[seamusmac]

Its pretty much open ended as we never set a time limit and as I said they are acquaintances through my work, so calling them good friends would be a bit too strong.

[Moos]

If you've had a quiet word with them and they're offended by your request that they respect the rules by which you live then they are not friends. You are doing them a favour, not the other way around. And to treat your nanny like a servant is unbelievably rude.

Sorry - edited because the above is a bit strong. Hopefully you can talk about a time limit in a non-confrontational way, and also remind them of a few boundaries. Good luck!

[MadWorld74]

Absolutely. I hate rude people. I've had a similar thing happen to me a long time ago. This guy who was studying with me asked if he could stay for a few weeks before he flew home to Norway, in my flat. One day I came home to find about 9 people in my lounge sprawled over the sofas, tv on, all smoking. They looked at me like I was the hired help when I walked through the door. How did I deal with it?

I asked them all to leave. I turned off the TV, said it was my flat and how dare they take it over like it was their own place. 'Do you people have no manners?', seemed to do the trick as well. 'I said it was okay for you to stay but to invite stangers into myn home is not on'.

Damn it, it's your place you keep some strength in that spinal cord of yours and do it for your kids if no one else.

Pisstakers.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

If they are not concerned about your feeling or the feelings of your family, then I wouldn't be so concerned about their feelings, they seem pretty thick skinned to me - so if I was you, i'd sit them down and explain that yes you made an open ended invitation, but you didn't expect them to behave the way they have.

Now that you have experienced what it is like to have them in your home, you have to re-evaluate your offer, and if they continue to act in a way that upsets you and your family, you're sorry but you will have to ask them to go for their original option of staying in a hotel.

You tried it, it didn't work for you so you need to ask them to go as you have a right to be happy in your own home.

[SeanMacGabhann]

darn it MW74, you NEARLY made it to the end of a post without swearing ;-)

SeamusMac (sounds like we could be related) - 'tis a situation I've been in before but the advice given above from moos/MW/CWALD (all female I notice) is spot on. You may usually avoid confrontation but you need to nip this in the bud

[mockney piers]

Definitely have a word, it doesn't have to be confrontational. Obviously they should have enough respect and common courtesy to behave better anyway, but as that isn't the case, just politely make what you expect clear.

If they can't then sling 'em oot. I had a houseguest girlfriend of flatmate) who stayed "while she was looking for a new place" and stayed for three years, and I HATED her with a passion. Made me genuinely miserable for the whole period.

Nip it in the bud is definitely my advice!!!!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Invite someone else to stay and say you need the room by ......

Have a couple of hotel/b&b alternatives on hand (search for previous threads on here).

[Tony.London Suburbs]

They will get comfortable,with no bills to pay and their rooms provided so no incentive on their part to change things,quite the opposite,in fact(6)..."Nip this straight in the bud" otherwise they will throw back at you that there were no time scales laid down.Combine this with taking the time and trouble to locate local Hotel rooms to point them in the RIGHT direction i.e. OUT OF THE DOOR!B)

[SeanMacGabhann]

oooh - invite us all around for a party, point them out to us and we'll make sure they don't want to stay ;-)

[ClareC]

Send them a link to this thread >:D

[seamusmac]

Thanks for all the support, it's just one of those situations that makes you wonder why you bother!!!. Maybe I will invite my hard drinking brothers over from the emerald isle and relegate the ungrateful buggers to the floor. Oh did I mention that the guests are Swedish?

I am not anti Swedish as I always felt that Henrik Larsson was a good footballer....

[bon3yard]

...and there I was thinking that The Swedish were a noble and upstanding folk whose sense of propriety was second only to their affinity for creating affordable flatpack furniture and love of meatballs. What an appalling liberty. Cant you rustle up a make believe Irish national holiday that requires you and your family to up sticks and spend 3 weeks in the Irish Interior? Admittedly this is the Cowards option...but it does help to have a plan B. :)

[SteveT]

They sound oafish and arrogant.

Find the nearest hotels or hostelries give them the phone numbers, and say it is not working for you and your family.

Then wish them well for the future.

Be a smiling assassin.

[Moos]

Are they looking for a flat in this area...?

[SteveT]

If they are looking for a flat they can move into a b&b until they find it;-)

[seamusmac]

Don't worry Moos all this drama is unfolding many many miles from ED in the PRC. But it helps a homesick family to get feedback from home. I would never encourage these folk to live in ED. There are somethings that are just too precious to promote to any tom,dick and ericsson.

[Huguenot]

PRC? Have you informed the local coppers?

All becomes clear, I'm now laughing hard!

[Moos]

Suggest you stash a 'Free Tibet' banner in Mrs' handbag when next she goes out - problem solved.

[Ladygooner]

House guests are like fish - they go off after 3 days.

[mockney piers]

How the hell do they get out of the fishtank?

[seamusmac]

nice one Moos but we don't speak of such things here

[giggirl]

Seamus, I read your post with growing horror because I've got the t shirt. Just to reiterate what has already been said; you need a time frame for this. I've been abused so many times in the past that I've finally learned my lesson and no longer offer free b&b (or even paid b&b). No more house guests for me - it just always ends in tears (mine).

[LuvPeckham]

mockney piers Wrote:

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> How the hell do they get out of the fishtank?

The Swedish people are a clever race, they can get out of a lot of things... World War 2 for example, Ikea without buying something they didn't want and by the looks of it in this case Gas, Electricity and other bills...

But don't worry, the Scandinavian Countries have the highest suicide rates, something to do with long winters nights ... therefore I would suggest turning off all the lights, shutting the blackout curtains at 3pm and waiting for the inevitable to happen...