Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I found myself singing the Grand Old Duke of York out loud yesterday while I was on my own walking my dog around the park. Didn't even have any kids with me to make me look less of a nutter. I stopped as soon as I realised what I was doing, but I'd been merrily singing away for a good 20 meters or so without realising.

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I don't know if it counts but I used to knock one

> out whilst watching Zena warrior princess.


BBW, I assume you're admitting to a w@nk as opposed to poleaxing one of the audience.

Just checking.

Let's just go straight to the top of Saturday morning crumpet here - Zoe Ball.

The beginning, middle and end of Saturday morning hangover TV.

On with Jamie thingy, and had the best puppets with Sage and Onion.

Seriously, she was and is unbeatable.

Though Ant & Dec on ITV did come close.

Disgusting behavior I know. When I was in the army cadets on Lordship lane as a lad we caught our corporal 'tea potting' whilst watching a copy of 'Swallows and Amazons'. For those of you who don't know or aren't at the disadvantage of having a revolting sense of humour the act of tea potting is performed by shoving your thumb up your arsehole whilst manually coaxing out some population paste which to a consenting or clandestine viewer put the w@anker into an a sort of abstract position of a tea pot, if you know what I mean.

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Disgusting behavior I know. When I was in the army

> cadets on Lordship lane as a lad we caught our

> corporal 'tea potting' whilst watching a copy of

> 'Swallows and Amazons'. For those of you who don't

> know or aren't at the disadvantage of having a

> revolting sense of humour the act of tea potting

> is performed by shoving your thumb up your

> arsehole whilst manually coaxing out some

> population paste which to a consenting or

> clandestine viewer put the w@anker into an a sort

> of abstract position of a tea pot, if you know

> what I mean.


I'm not one for applying emoticons, but even if I was, w@nking corporal, with his thumb up his arse, seems highly specialised. And as for where Swallows And Amazons comes in, I'm not sure.

Now I thik of it, I assume it's one of those 'special' films involving tall ladies doing something special to someone they like very much

I'm also not one for quoting Richard Littlejohn, but you couldn't make it up. You really couldn't

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Seems a bit off.  If two countries have a majority of dumbos why do we get to offload ours? Instead of us taking in theirs 
    • So to enable people to experience 3 days of 'joy', our family has to endure two weeks of 7 days a week, 12 hours a day construction noise around 50m from our front window. That's HGVs driving up & down the road, constant reversing beeps from fork lifts & tractors, scaffolding poles crashing, pneumatic wrenches rattling, shouting etc etc. from 8am to 8pm. Every day. Even Sundays. Do you have all that near your house? Then there's the anti social behaviour during the festival, right outside our home - minicabs arriving, punters jumping out, chucking bottles and cans on the floor, having a quick p*ss against the wall, then off to the festival to have their 'joy'. Again & again, all afternoon & evening. For the whole bank holiday weekend. Guys having nitrous oxide parties in their cars, right outside our home at midnight, 1am.  Do you have all that near your house?  And then there's the strike afterwards, more construction noise for another week - 8am to 8pm, every day - then they disappear, leaving the park covered in fag butts, bottle tops, ring pulls, cable ties, cellophane filter tip tubes, disposable vapes, all usually trampled into the ground so that they are virtually impossible to remove. And then several months for the grass to almost recover enough for people to use again, except by then the summer is long gone.  Do you really think a "chill pill" is going to miraculously resolve all this? Please, have some empathy for people who are really impacted by this event. I've nothing against festivals, but they need to be located in a suitable space, and a small public park close to residential homes isn't it.
    • Does anyone have a paper shredder they no longer need? I gave mine away thinking I could use the soaking method, but then found it isn't suitable for large quantities of paper, for various reasons. The Library of Things is supposed to have one for hire, but it's been "coming soon" for weeks.
    • I was quite bemused as to why the leaves on my black bamboo were apparently dying and it  had weird things apparently growing on it. Then I came across this: https://inspectaslr.co.uk/black-bamboo-flowering-a-rare-worldwide-phenomenon-spotted-by-inspectas/ I was fond of my bamboo, which has grown in my garden for years, and the sparrows liked to perch and swing on it, too. Has anyone else locally had this happen? Presumably anybody with a black bamboo. Looking on the bright side,  I will be left with a lot of useful bean poles.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...