Things you thought you owned but don't

[Ted Max]

I thought I owned the jauntiest saunter in all of South Peckham. But I saw a chap strolling down Danby Street yesterday with the true confidence of a man with nothing left to lose. "Chapeau, monsieur," whoever you were.

[HonaloochieB]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> The foxes were f@cking each others brains out last

> night and I thought I had some air pellets left in

> the tin but I remember they belong to the pidgeons

> now.

>

> I always think I've got a cork screw for wine but

> I haven't.

>

> Condoms. Now that really is a bitch.

OK, BBW let's start from the top and number your problems from top to bottom 1, 2 and let's say 3.

1. Leap out and shout and scream at the foxes. Inform them that you're a wolf and you outrank them. They will leave.

2. Let all of the women in your life know that you, BBW have no corkscrew. Inform them all of 1 above.

3. The combination of 1 and 2 will ensure that 3 never becomes a matter you neeed concern yourself with again.

You're welcome.

[LuvPeckham]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> LuvPeckham Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > I actually used a Biscuit cutter to hold the

> eggs

> > with in the end.

>

> THE MOST ENORMOUS DOUBLE TAKE SINCE...Oh, sorry

> can't think. Can I leave it at Laurel & Hardy at

> their double-takiest?

>

> But I've just realised LP that you DON'T have an

> egg cup, but you DO have 'biscuit cutters'.

> It beggars belief that your kitchen priorities are

> so skewed, indeed warped.

> I can only assume you came off the worst in a

> break up with a patissier.

> If that was the case, LP I apologise, Je suis

> desolee.

Ahh now, as cooking is a passion of mine, then it is not surprising that I have biscuit cutters, Pastry brushes, Meat basters, state of the art gadgets but no microwant or egg cups (sadly I also have a bread maker that isn't used as I prefer to make it by hand) I even have such weird and wonderful things as pork pie tins,a cognac bottle full of olive oil and balsamic, millions of ramakins, little white pots for chocolate puds to go into (sorry strawbs, I have all the toys you want except the wire things for radiators as I don't have radiators) and a cake stand too.

Good theory about the patissier, but sadly that means breaking up with myself which I am not about to do in a hurry. (besides which one of me gets the cake stand...)

I have now realised that there is somehthing I thought I owned but don't .... my marbles !!!

[Mikecg]

My wife, LOL!!!!

[SimonM]

>>Condoms. Now that really is a bitch.<<

Clingfilm is good in a crisis....:)

[PeckhamRose]

But is it any good in the woman?

[SeanMacGabhann]

tsk - if you were brought up proper catholics you would have learnt some control techniques and be done with this condom business

[ in a safe long term relationship obviously. I'm not saying go an play roulette....]

[HonaloochieB]

LuvPeckham Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > LuvPeckham Wrote:

> >

> --------------------------------------------------

>

> > -----

> > > I actually used a Biscuit cutter to hold the

> > eggs

> > > with in the end.

> >

> > THE MOST ENORMOUS DOUBLE TAKE SINCE...Oh, sorry

> > can't think. Can I leave it at Laurel & Hardy

> at

> > their double-takiest?

> >

> > But I've just realised LP that you DON'T have

> an

> > egg cup, but you DO have 'biscuit cutters'.

> > It beggars belief that your kitchen priorities

> are

> > so skewed, indeed warped.

> > I can only assume you came off the worst in a

> > break up with a patissier.

> > If that was the case, LP I apologise, Je suis

> > desolee.

>

> Ahh now, as cooking is a passion of mine, then it

> is not surprising that I have biscuit cutters,

> Pastry brushes, Meat basters, state of the art

> gadgets but no microwant or egg cups (sadly I also

> have a bread maker that isn't used as I prefer to

> make it by hand) I even have such weird and

> wonderful things as pork pie tins,a cognac bottle

> full of olive oil and balsamic, millions of

> ramakins, little white pots for chocolate puds to

> go into (sorry strawbs, I have all the toys you

> want except the wire things for radiators as I

> don't have radiators) and a cake stand too.

>

> Good theory about the patissier, but sadly that

> means breaking up with myself which I am not about

> to do in a hurry. (besides which one of me gets

> the cake stand...)

>

>

> I have now realised that there is somehthing I

> thought I owned but don't .... my marbles !!!

Ah, it now all makes sense LP, in fact I've just checked and there's not single Tree Top sguash bottle cap to be found in my cupboard.

Boy, is my face red(der).

[Moos]

A roasting tin.

Do I still count as a grown-up?

[Brendan]

Possibly. I think you can get away with not having a roasting tin as long as you have one of those serving spoons with the holes in them. Not to roast your dinner in you understand but they are utensils that only grown ups have.

[Moos]

*clanking, rummaging sounds from kitchen*

Nope. But I have two whisks, will they do? However, one of them is a comedy one with an egg-shaped handle, which I fear may not add to my score here.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

S'alright Moos, you can offset it with a comedy apron - always the sign of a serious chef.

[SteveT]

What ever happened to that duck?

[Moos]

The duck is alive and well, and lurking in the bathtub in the midst of a welter of jolly-coloured floaty plastic things, where it presumably bores all the other jolly-coloured floaty plastic things to death with the story of its adventure at PGC Mansions.