Childcare dilemmas-experience please

[Gooders79]

We have an 18 mo and 3 yo who are currently established happily in a work based nursery. We are lucky that I can walk to/from nursery for drop offs etc which I do all of. currently we leave at 7:15 and get in just after 5 then straight in for dinner bath then bed. I work 4 days a week. I can't decide whether this is the best solution or whether a nanny with 1/2 days nursery for 3 yo would be a better option, any thoughts?

We live in constant fear of the kids being sick and one of us needing to take time off work.

I feel bad turfing the children out of the house so early in the morning for a long day and I'm knackered by the time I get home too so no one is really at their best.

Anyone done the switch from nursery to nanny?

Many thanks in advance

[Lula]

Hi Gooders79 ? I don't have experience of hiring a nanny (we have always gone with childminders and nursery/preschool) but your post chimes with how my OH and always feel too. We have a 2 yo and 4 yo and they are currently in school with wrap-around care provided by a childminder and my younger one is in a nursery. I hate the rushing around in the morning to get them out of the house on time then when I pick mine up, it's around 6pm, so we don't get in until 6.15, then it's dinner, bath (if I can be bothered) and stories/bedtime. They are never in bed before 8pm on the days I work and usually I am tired too from all the rushing around so can't wait to get them into bed and relax. What I have found works sometimes is to stop and play a little game with them, so a puzzle or make-believe - even for just 10 minutes and they really appreciate the attention. We have all been ill the last week too (has anyone else had horrible tummy bugs?) so juggling half days here and there to make up the time and working nights has really taken its toll.

I think all in all if you can afford a nanny, it would be easier as the kids can be in their home environment, and I imagine she can care for them at home if they are ill?

Anyway, good luck with your decision.

[snowboarder]

We have had a nanny for the last 2.5 yrs (since our children were the same age as yours) and the overall experience has been great - particularly in the last year as we've had a really reliable nanny. I sometimes leave for work and the children are still asleep - mostly they are in their pj's eating breakfast so the only one rushing is me, and when I get home at 6.30pm they have had tea and bath and are ready for bed, leaving time for a play, story etc. I love that they're at home and have their own things. I work 3.5 day per week and we now combine nanny/preschool, so only have the nanny 2.5 days a week with presch/school covering the rest.

The only nightmare is obviously when the nanny is ill - our old nanny had quite a bit of time off and then became pregnant - you obviously are the employer so have to deal with these things! But on balance nannys are less likely to be ill than the kids, I think, and I've left poorly children with the nanny before.

My current nanny is totally amazing and on her half day even does some ironing for me before school pick up. She's also in for deliveries etc and often puts a wash on/leaves me their left over bolognaise in the fridge for dinner! I'm now worrying about next september when my youngest starts school and we need to look for wrap around care....it's going to be a shock!

[ED Fun]

As much as I am an advocate of nurseries for socialising skills, I do strongly feel that any 1-2-1 and personal attention in a home environment is even better for the children. We did nanny / pre-school combination for a while and although I felt I was the one missing out the most, I did feel the kids were getting the love and attention they needed at home.

the good thing also is that pre-school comes with nice play dates too and the nannies are usually very good at meeting up with others and going to classes etc.

If you have the combination option - do it you wont regret it!

Just 1 piece of (un)wanted advice from experience: you can't have it all, something has to give... & good luck finding the right nanny.

[Fmm]

I can only echo Snowboarder's thoughts. I had to switch from nursery care to a nanny for my 2 and 4 year old a year ago due to moving house. I hadn't realised until I got a nanny how stressful the rushed mornings to be at nursery for 7.30am then pick up for 6pm was. Nowadays generally the kids are still asleep or in PJs when I leave at 7.30am. When I return from work at 6pm they have had nice downtime at home with their toys, a lovely tea and my (now-reception age) daughter has done her homework. If either are ill I do not have to take time off work (although don't forget that if the nanny works for another family on the days that they do not work for you, the nanny may not be able to work for you if your child has an infectious disease eg. chicken pox. I guess you could state in your contract with the nanny that your family takes precedence in this instance if you employ the nanny for the greater number of days per week...?).

The cost is comparable to a nursery for 2 kids (I work 3 days/ wk), even if I factor in 2-3 daytime activities or playgroups a week for the nanny to take my pre-schooler to. But if you are in an area where there are more nannies around for your nanny to meet with then you may not even need this expense.

Having no family nearby, for us as well it is amazing to have a trusted person to babysit and/or work a bit longer if I am caught late at work.

I haven't had to deal with my nanny being ill yet, but yes this would definitely be a problem from a logistical point of view.... but the "being an employer" thing I have found not a problem at all as there are so many resources available to help you particularly on the payroll side.

hope that helps.

[Saffron]

I work fulltime, and from the age of 2.5 yrs for my daughter I did a combination of nanny/nursery, until starting reception this year. The nursery was near my work, which was nice but the commute could be a little fraught. I liked the social structure at the nursery, and great inter-change of ideas with all the staff. My LO did ft nursery 3 days/week, then nanny 2 day. This gave her more one-on-one time, which I thought was very important at a young age. Plus, it gave me a little extra flexibility (could request the nanny to come early/stay late if needed). Combination care definitely worked for us. xx

[Smiler]

Relate to this. vote for a nanny/preschool if you can afford it!

[Smiler]

Also take care of YOU, 4 days a week paud work plus all drop-offs and pick-ups is a lot.

[shaunag]

We've gone from nursery ft for no1 to nanny for no1 and 2. Now that we have a reliable nanny it is much less stressful. But, we went through two nannies before we found our third and current nanny that we are happy with so has been a learning experience. But, went to work the other day and left my son with a horrible cold-one I would not have sent him in to nursery with and he was fine. He doesn't cry and the kids have a lovely day. Daughter goes to preschool so she gets her socialising in and son Has big sister around so lots of stimulation (he wouldn't see much of her at nursery as she would be in a different room-he adores her so I'm glad she is around at least for this year). Also no1 was constantly ill at nursery and I missed a lot off time in the office as a result. This time around I'm banking on less illness and less time off as they will be at home anyway if ill (obviously if they are very poorly I'd need to take time off but the nanny could enable me to get some work done from home). I may need to rethink once no1 starts in reception so that no2 isn't bored,I may have to do a day or two at nursery then so he can make some buddies, but there is time to decide on that... Overall I'm much less stressed as no rushing about and don't live in fear of bugs and the children are really happy and calm. As above can leave them in pjs/asleep and they are ready for bed on my return (although 3 weeks in they are mega excited to see me when I get home-son bursts into tears having been fine all day bless him-today he started crying when the nanny left so a sensitive little fella). It is way more expensive though as daughter over three and I only work 3 days so she would not have cost that much at nursery after state funding and Childcare vouchers. But I think it's worth the expense to keep my career going over these few years when they are so little. I guess my advice is do it if you can!

[Gooders79]

Thank you for the responses so helpful. I think it feels like a massive step even considering a change. if we can secure a nursery place for our 3 yo I think we will change to that with a nanny. Sounds like some people have had great experiences with this setup...