David Carnelli - Human Classical Statue

[Michael Palaeologus]

As Spring commences and Summer comes into view, the weather improves and the sun shines through the leaves creating dappled patterns on the lawns and hearts of East Dulwich.

Minds turn to al fresco parties and barbecues.

I have attended many of these events and have often felt that there is something lacking. A cultural void in what is otherwise a lovely afternoon of grilled bangers, cold Pinot in plastic cups and gently broiling human skin.

What is needed is one significant element that will transport your otherwise mundane suburban party to ancient Greece or Rome. Lift your guests from Croxted Road to the Coloseum, from Crystal Palace Road to the Parthenon:

Rent yourself -- DAVID CARNELLI, HUMAN CLASSICAL STATUE

Many people have commented on David Carnelli's similarity to the young Apollo and so building on this amazing likeness David has kindly decided to offer his services to the community as a live decorative fixture.

His services can be delivered in a number of ways:

1 - The static statue. David can stay still for up to 20 minutes at a time, moving between classical poses, gazing into the distance, silent yet commanding

2 - The reciting statue. David can recite from classical literature, in your actual Greek or Latin if required, entertaing your guests with the enormity of his declamation

3 - The nude statue. For those with specialist tastes. Please note that David is fully depilated; if you require the more natural look, 6 weeks notice is required

4 - The human fountain. Please supply ample quantities of Evian mineral water to keep him topped up.

5. - The athlete. David can perform like an ancient Greek Olympian. Its a quite a sight.

Many Forumites will vouch for David's flexibility and imagimation, if you have any particular requests please do not hesitate to contact:

Palaeologus Promotions

Stall 14

North Cross Road Agora

[HonaloochieB]

Top wheeze MP.

Could you sort me out number 3 but with the rugby song shouting option please?

I don't have a garden but there's a green patch outside my living room window and there's a bus stop right beside it.

I'd like to book him for one week day during the rush hour.

I'll leave it until the weather gets a bit warmer, I'd like him to be at his best, so to speak.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

How VERY appropriate!

David can now look down on the general populace from an even greater height.....B)

[Moos]

Michael - hilarious. Can the statue do breakdancing, I feel this would be a good transition from classical to modern.

TLS :-S

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Moos Wrote:

> TLS :-S

Don't worry, our Dave has a good sense of humour and won't mind a member of The EDF Riff-Raff having a friendly pop at him...::o

[Sarah J.]

Oh dear. "Pandora's Box", and "can of worms", are terms that come to mind! How hilarious! I like the breakdancing suggestion. What about "popping"? That seems to be the latest dance craze...

[Moos]

Heavens, Sarah, you are quite right. I am utterly busted as an old git and wholly out of date with what the young folk enjoy as their innocent pastimes.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I'd like two of number 5. please. I'm setting up a mud bath in my garden pronto.