Unprepared at bus stop! (Lounged)

[BlueOne]

I regret the loss of all the lovely social courtesies and moan about it all the time, but would I want to go back to the fifties? Punishment for sexual freedom in the form of backstreet abortions or shotgum marriages, unequal pay for equal work, firmly entrenched class system with all the restricted social and educational opportunities this entailed, casual racism and sexism...mmmm. Sad as I am at the diminishment of mutual respect and consideration for fellow Londoners, I know I'd still prefer to be living now.

[Asset]

if you think we lack social niceties and common courtesy here you should visit the Balkans, makes us look positively charming by all accounts.

[BlueOne]

I hope this doesn't bring the parent fraternity down on my head, and I will state in my defense that I love kids. I am a devoted aunt and godmother, and for the majority of my career I have worked with children and teenagers. I am not a child hater..BUT please bear with me..

I think It's all down to training. You can't observe social conventions if you don't know what they are, and while I know there are plenty of conscientious parents who DO instill basic courtesy and manners in their children (my friends and siblings included), sadly there are a hell of a lot who don't.

When I was a kid my Mum would constantly coach me: "stand back out of those peoples way", "wait your turn", "say thank you", "don't push" "give that old man your seat, you are only paying half fare". I was by no means a mealy mouthed 'seen and not heard' kind of kid. I was encouraged to have my own opinions, be adventurous, accept people who were different to me etc etc, but I was also very aware of my place, as a child in the pecking order and well aware of what was acceptable. Obviously as a normal kid I didn't always observe it, but I knew what was socially acceptable behaviour. And I still do.

If I travel to another country, I always research the social conventions and what faux pas to avoid, but I think many parents today fail to make this clear to their own children in their own culture. It's no surprise that they grow up not observing the niceties that make life a bit easier for everyone.

We are now living with a couple of generations of people who have grown up thinking THEY are number one in the pecking order, deamnd respect without giving it, and who are focussed on their own needs and achievements, without an awareness that they form part of a larger community.

And just to finish, I know many lovely children, teenagers and adults who DO know how to conduct themselves, but without exception, this has been instilled in them by their parents. It doesn't necessarily come as a default feature.

[reetpetite]

You are totally ,totally right .

[BlueOne]

Thanks! I would love to see something built into the primary school curriculum that would cover this - although as an ex primary school teacher I know they do try on a day to day basis. I'm not talking fish knives and 'loo' vs toilet, just the everyday stuff that has been forgotten or never learned by a lot of people today.