The Ashes 2009

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Brendan, do you have an uncle or even a great uncle going spare?

[Brendan]

I have an uncle who lives in Hampton. I can?t speak for his state of mind at this precise moment but he is known to go spare quite regularly.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I'm not fussy, he'll do. Will you effect an introduction please? A tanner for your troubles.

[bignumber5]

Twas sodding tense, but a defensive rearguard and some slow glove changes saved the day. Ricky Ponting may have mentioned those particular components with a different degree of emphasis...

Echos keef on the Freddy career summary, there's a touch of the Jonny Wilkinson's about it: golden boy leading up to and including a great competitive series, but past glories (once a long way past) can't block a slot forever.

[Brendan]

I must warn you though he?s a pugnacious Irishman with a domineering wife. He does support the England cricket team though. Still interested?

Cor I never thought pimping out family members could turn a profit. I wonder what I could get for a neurotic cousin a twee aunt and a highly explosive sister-in-law.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Well, the wife may be a wee problem. Perhaps she could face Flintoffee in the nets and we'd see her off?

[????]

"we'd"? Brendan's just done the introductions you have to do the dirty stuff yourself

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Would you consider a contract, Quids? Half a crown?

[Brendan]

Back to cricket here if I may. In another drawn match the England woman?s team retained the Ashes this year for the third year running.

They are also 50 over and 20-20 world champs.

Every now and again they televise their games and they are well worth watching.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Bally good show.

[Brendan]

Lawrence Booth in this week?s edition of The Spin has it pretty much spot on when it comes to the last match and the selection for the next, in my opinion: http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/jul/14/england-australia-the-spin

[Sherwick]

We've got big problems this time round. At least in 2005, when we lost the first test, the bowlers were firing.

Now, nothing whatsoever is firing.

[Brendan]

Well Onions and Harmison are almost definitely going to be playing at Lords. If Harmison is on form he is a match winner (to quote big G Boycott a million times over). Apparently Onions is on form as well. So if Anderson and Swan can sort themselves out the bowling attack may be considerably improved. Collingwood will do his job supporting well but I don?t hold much hope for Broad.

[Sherwick]

Lots of 'ifs' there..!

And we haven't even started talking about the rubbish batting yet! Collingwood's readguard action may have saved the first test, but we won the Ashes in 2005 through aggresive batting, often scoring 400+ in a day. Can't see a 400+ day happening too often this time (though if KP, Bopara, Freddie and Prior all click together, it may just happen....).

All in all, not looking good. Mind you, the Aussies are a pale shadow without McGrath and Warne. Batting-wise, they look a bit better unfortunately (meaning our bowling has to be better than 2005 to win the Ashes this time).

:( :( :(

[????]

The problem is, with Lee back especially, the Aussies bat all the way down...I think we'll be pushed to bowl them out twice

[Brendan]

Ah you see there Sherwick this obsessing about 2005 may just be the problem. They are playing against a completely different Australian team, especially a different type of bowling attack, to what they were in 2005. Now I?m all for people like Pietersen and Swan being allowed to play their natural games and tonk it to the boundary whenever they get the chance but in between them perhaps we need more guys like Collingwood who will nurdle out 100 runs over 4 long sessions and frustrate and exhaust their bowlers rather than necessarily intimidate them.

[Keef]

Flintoff retiring from test cricked after the Ashes.

[Fear 'n boozin]

god knows why he's announced that now - nobody ever does well once they've announced their retirement. Drop 'im I say.

[Keef]

It could gee the team on to give him a winning finale... He's the type who will want to go out with a bang.

[????]

he's the type who'll like to go out on the p1ss

[Fear 'n boozin]

I know, that's what you hope will happen, but lets face it, it won't (don't mean to be on a downer). Really think he should make way for somebody whose body can last a test match - he can then come back and help us do ok in the one day series!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Weather looks good for today and tomorrow. Have a great time MM.

[Brendan]

Indeed. Enjoy MM. Let?s hope we have a match, unmolested by the elements over the next 5 days.

As for the team this is who I would field. Because from the position of my swivel chair in Westminster I obviously have far more insight than the England selectors do on the ground.

If Flintoff is fit:

Strauss, Cook, Bell, Pietersen, Collingwood, Prior, Flintoff, Swann, Anderson, Onions, Harmison.

If he isn?t:

Strauss, Cook, Bopara, Pietersen, Bell, Collingwood, Prior, Swann, Anderson, Onions, Harmison.

[Brendan]

And this is who they are playing: Strauss, Cook, Bopara, Pietersen, Collingwood, Prior, Flintoff, Broad, Swann, Anderson, Onions

So Broad stays. I bet the Autralian batsmen are happy about that.

[Keef]

He is fit apparently.

I think Cook needs to do something half decent this match!