Old enough to be scared now... advice?

[Moos]

Moosling is now twoannabit, and has recently started waking in the night from time to time very upset and clearly scared. He needs to have the light on and to be held for a good few minutes before he stops trembling and starts to feel calm enough to be ready to go back to sleep. Poor little mite, it breaks my heart though I know it's completely normal.

On Monday night he woke three times, and I think I worked out what he was scared of (Scarface Claw, for any 'Hairy McLairy' fans out there!) so on Tuesday night before bed I firmly told I had taken Scarface Claw away and he wasn't going to dream about him that night. Seems to have worked, at least for now. But really he's too little to be able to tell me what frightens him, so it's difficult to address it directly.

Anyway, we've always kept his room very dark to discourage his tendency to early waking, but I wonder whether a nightlight might be useful.

Has anyone else gone through this, and what techniques did you use to reassure your child?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

When my daughter was a bit older (3/4) she went through phase of being scared of going to bed because the wolf was going to come and get her (bloody story books!). What worked a treat was that we wrote the wolf a letter telling him he wasn't allowed in her bedroom, and pinned it to the door.

In the meantime, a night light can't do any harm.

[Moos]

Thanks PGC.

I do find the stories of the way parents solve these problems really funny and sweet - I love your wolf tale, and am imagining a letter beginning:-

'Dear Mr. Wolf

Please be advised...'

Back in the day, my mum with a completely straight face gave me an invisible magic sword to fight off monsters, and it turned out to be very effective. It's rather like kissing-and-making-it-better - I can never quite believe it when I kiss a small bashed thumb to make it better, but it really seems to take the pain (or at least the fuss..) away.

[Keef]

I used to have a toy "Sword of Omens" (from Thundercats), and would sleep soundly, knowing that it was within reach of my bed, should any intruders need "dealing with".

http://www.toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/Thundercats/SwordOfOmens1a.jpg

The symbol used to light up and everything!

[womanofdulwich]

do you still keep it under the bed?

[Keef]

That would be telling... :-$

[quickbrownfox]

I think they call these 'night terrors' and they are very common at around this age (apparently the cause is developmental, so it's not only normal but a sign that some key enhancements to the brain are taking place). My nephew had them badly, and a combination of having a light on, and teaching him to use his mind to work through and deal with the fear seemed to work.

A woman (expert of some kind) on The Wright Stuff said that as children's minds are so adaptable you can say things to them like "imagine you are pushing Scarface out the bedroom and down the stairs and telling him to go home to his mummy" (ie essentially what you did, but encouraging them to participate in the exorcism!)

PS Scarface Claw is scary. I may have to sleep with the nightlight on myself tonight!

[Ted Max]

Mummy!

http://www.murphsplace.com/crowe/charlie/images/hairy9.jpg

[Moos]

During the day, Scarface Claw is cooooooooooooooool. At night.. ah well. It may be that Papi has overdone the drama in the reading...

Thank you, qbx.

*smiles at Ted*

[trinity]

Also the invincibility of mummy and daddy works well at this age. My little one was very worried about the monsters who wanted to nibble her toes in the night so every night I would tell the 'monsters', in a very stern voice, that they were not allowed in DD's room. This seemed to do the trick.

Also we have a real problem with fairytales. DD won't listen to any that include a witch, ogre, fox, wicked stepmother, wolf or anyone in the least bit unpleasant. I think that means we are left with the 'Elves and the Shoemaker' and I don't get the chance to practise my silly voices much.