The sick splatter on Melbourne Grove

[sophiesofa]

Does anyone else walk past the sick splatter to and from work everyday? Everytime I forget it's there then I see it and get annoyed at myself for forgetting. If it was you about 3 weeks ago who threw up on the pavement about half way up Melbourne Grove please go and wash it off. It must be stuborn stuff because the rain hasn't washed it away yet.

[sophiesofa]

Ooh i've been moved to General ED issues. Sorry I thought it was not serious enough so I put it in the lounge. Thanks for moving me.

[computedshorty]

?

[sophiesofa]

Yep, there are definitely far worse things. I will beware the snott goblins from now on!

[cloudnine]

Beware too of the famous South East London 'pavement oysters'.... nothing like stepping in the contents of someone's throat clearance.

[reggie]

sick splatter...sounds like a dutch football coach

Sly and Reggie

[Andystar]

i had a call at work from a guy wanting to know if we could DNA test faeces & snot. it turned out that someone in his workplace was smearing both body waste products all over the toilet walls- totally gross. It turned out it would cost ?????? to do it, so i suggested calling the offenders' bluff & putting a poster up saying they were going to do the testing & that the offender would have to pay for it if caught, apparently it stopped after that.

[SeanMacGabhann]

sophie, I know the spot you speak of but for me, the carnage on the corner of Melbourne Grove opposite the Thai Pavilion every single freakin morning is more bothersome

Some eejit puts out several bin bags every night, foxes rip them to shreds. Every night. And I have to walk over this crud. Every morning

[JetSetWilly]

would it not be easier to walk around it.

[sophiesofa]

Wow andystar what a good story, in every workplace there is a weird toilet issue of some sort! My desk used to be next to the toilet and one of my excolleagues was on the lighterlife liquid diet thing and he'd spend a minimum of 2 hours a day splattering the loo and sighing very loudly and giggling at whatever reading material he had chosen. He never took any of our hints, we'd hide the loo roll, turn the radio on loud when he went in, shut the door really loudly but nothing would change his habits until he was forced to resign for never doing any work. There was a toilet one floor up with no desks anywhere near it.

SeanMG I don't generally walk past where you mention but it sounds very annoying. At least you get a snapshot into the lives of the mystery bin-bag peoples lives!

The term pavement oysters is making me feel a bit ming.

[Andystar]

sophiesofa Wrote:

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> Wow andystar what a good story.

I've got an even better story...Gather 'round people.

YOU MUST BE OVER 18YO TO READ THIS

Last week, an adult film star came in to produce a sample of her *ahem* how do I put it, ejaculation. Apparently, she was coming in for testing to see if it was the mythical almost elusive female orgasm ejaculate or just plain old urine & she had to produce a sample at the lab. I bravely offered to go & help her out, I even brought goggles. There was a lawsuit regarding this as they were not allowed to feature ppl urinating in the film & the sleazy porn merchants were trying to (excuse the pun) get off on a technicality..

[SeanMacGabhann]

A prominent forumite has spoken extensively on her abilities in this area Andy

[sophiesofa]

Oh good grief. What were the results Andy?

[jaybee82]

See the title of this thread for that Sophie.

[SteveT]

Andystar you write like Ted Max with balls, I like your style.

[Andystar]

sophiesofa Wrote:

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> Oh good grief. What were the results Andy?

Damn, I keep on forgetting to look...BTW sample of the day for today was a bladder stone the size of a childs fist. i asked the guys "what's a rock doing here" to which they handed my a piece of paper with the clinical details...all i can say is OUCH!! It even cracked the container.

Thanks SteveT - i'm thinking of a name change to Andy Max...

[sophiesofa]

OUCH indeed I hope that was cut out rather than somehow weed out. I kept my 7 small kidney stones (my kidneys have since been mended) in a little pot thing for a while but the water went all manky so I reluctantly had to throw them away.

I still want to know the the results of the porno lady although i fear jaybee82's answer is correct!

[Andystar]

I'd give him a medal if it was peed out & some stitches, luckily it was quite smooth, those jagged crystaline ones look vicious. Damn I forgot to look again (went on a bender & had 2 hrs sleep) will put a note on my phone to remind me to look tomorrow.

btw, glad that your kidneys have mended, did they analyse the composition of your stones??

[HonaloochieB]

I much prefer the cute-workmate-kissing-blue-cocktail-with-alcoholic-cherries-drinking AndyStar I know from other threads.

This one sounds like a Viz scripted CSI character.

[sophiesofa]

Ow just thinking about peeing out that stone is making me go ouch. It was about 7/8 years ago now and I had to collect my wee for 2 days (I was at art foundation at the time and had to carry it around in my pack pack to my friends delight) for them to work out what kind they were. I think they said they were calcium ones, but I could well have made that up and for some unknown/forgotten reason I'm not meant to eat Beetroot or Spinach. Luckily I had mine cut out so no weeing agony but I had an X-ray of them and they were arranged in a little flower pattern with one slightly bigger one in the middle with the little rounds around it - quite odd really.

Get some sleep tonight because the forum needs to know the answer.

[Andystar]

Ok forum, be prepared for a huge surprise.. the ejaculate was NOT urine, I repeat, NOT urine...i've asked for more details, so i should have more info in the next few days..

[sophiesofa]

UUUUURRRgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[daizie]

waiting ..

[SeanMacGabhann]

Oh it's easy enough to look up on the internet

or if you search this forum from... ooh about 2 years ago, there was a long discussion

* digs around a bit *

It's news to some people and not to others

[daizie]

Bloody hilarious . Now that is a real conversation ! :))