Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I'd just like to pick the brains of some of the professionals who read this forum if I may.


A few ago it was repoted that campaigners in New Zealand were trying to get equal rights for primates to humans on the basis they shared over 99% of their DNA with us. Various experts were wheeled into british newsrooms to poo poo this idea. One of them did so with the argument that we share 50% of our DNA with broccoli. This set me to thinking, could it be possible that eventually broccoli may have the same rights as a witness in a New Zealand court as a woman does in a sharia court today.


So, do any of the barristers, who I know read this forum, have any experiance with broccoli, are women really as reliable? Persoally I've always found broccoli to be exemplary in its behaviour. I can't recall a single occasion when it's lied to me or let me down, even when past its best before date. I couldn't say the same thing about some of the women I've known.


Another expert used bananas as his example, again the 50% figure was used. So presumably the average man is worth two bananas. My question to the medical practioners is, if a chap is not quite the full two bananas is there treatment available on the NHS for this. Sorry, herbalists need not reply as I do not believe in pseudo-science.

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/7392-leagl-and-medical-advice-please/
Share on other sites

nashoi Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> So presumably the average

> man is worth two bananas. My question to the

> medical practioners is, if a chap is not quite the

> full two bananas is there treatment available on

> the NHS for this. Sorry, herbalists need not reply

> as I do not believe in pseudo-science.



2 bananas? Gross over-estimation, I think ;) Treatment on the NHS was discontinued a few years back, there was too much demand and the system couldn't cope.

My research has shown that many men claim that they are bananas but in fact are much more likely to be found to be runner beans.


I trust this will be useful to you.


P.S. If I eat a lot of broccoli, does this make me less human?



Halfway to cannibalism actually, but as a lover of the legume forgiven

As it happens, under British law primates do have rights that eschew those of more run of the mill mammals.


Principally regarding testing.


I'm concerned that Moos' testing may have involved a serious breach of these conditions in the name of 'research'. The Japanese, of course, 'research' whales.

Huguenot Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> As it happens, under British law primates do have

> rights that eschew those of more run of the mill

> mammals.

>

> Principally regarding testing.

>

> I'm concerned that Moos' testing may have involved

> a serious breach of these conditions in the name

> of 'research'. The Japanese, of course, 'research'

> whales.


I am surprised at you, sir. I would have thought it hardly necessary to assure you that all of my research was carried out upon unpaid volunteers in none of whose vocabulary was contained the word 'ook'.

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> EDF IQ Test

>

> Is Broccoli -

>

> A: a cross between a cauliflower and a barrister?

> B: a naturally occurring brassica?

> C: a producer of James Bond films?

>


A - Jesus was hung on a cross between two thieves, it's quite possible one was a barrister. I don't think cauliflower had been invented at the time.

B - I think you'll find the word is 'brassiere' and they featured heavily in the James Bond films. Apparently he could open one one=handed and flick it atop the shower rail in under ten seconds.

C - See B.

"Apparently he could open one one=handed and flick it atop the shower rail in under ten seconds."


James Bond, clearly a man worth the full 2 bananas and possibly a pear as well. I'm surprised Fleming never got around to pointing this out given all the other cobblers he came up with.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • So top of Lane. Local Sainsbury, middle Co Op and M and S and bottom Tesco Express…..now everyone should be happy except those that want a Waitrose as well…0h and  don’t forget M and S near ED Station….
    • Direct link to joint statement : https://thehaguegroup.org/meetings-bogota-en/?link_id=2&can_id=2d0a0048aad3d4915e3e761ac87ffe47&source=email-pi-briefing-no-26-the-bogota-breakthrough&email_referrer=email_2819587&email_subject=pi-briefing-no-26-the-bogot_-breakthrough&&   No. 26 | The Bogotá Breakthrough “The era of impunity is over.” That was the message from Bogotá, Colombia, where governments from across the Global South and beyond took the most ambitious coordinated action since Israel’s genocidal assault on Gaza began 21 months ago. Convened by The Hague Group and co-chaired by the governments of Colombia and South Africa, the Emergency Conference on Palestine brought together 30 states for two days of intensive deliberation — and emerged with a concrete, coordinated six-point plan to restrain Israel’s war machine and uphold international law. States took up the call from their host, Colombian President and Progressive International Council Member Gustavo Petro, who had urged them to be “protagonists together.” Twelve governments signed onto the measures immediately. The rest now have a deadline: 20 September 2025, on the eve of the United Nations General Assembly. The unprecedented six measures commit states to:     Prevent military and dual use exports to Israel.     Refuse Israeli weapons transfers at their ports.     Prevent vessels carrying weapons to Israel under their national flags.     Review all public contracts to prevent public institutions and funds from supporting Israel’s illegal occupation.     Pursue justice for international crimes.     Support universal jurisdiction to hold perpetrators accountable. “We came to Bogotá to make history — and we did,” said Colombian President Gustavo Petro. “Together, we have begun the work of ending the era of impunity. These measures show that we will no longer allow international law to be treated as optional, or Palestinian life as disposable.” The measures are not symbolic. They are grounded in binding obligations under international law — including the International Court of Justice’s July 2024 advisory opinion declaring Israel’s occupation unlawful, and September 2024’s UN General Assembly Resolution ES-10/24, which gave states a 12-month deadline to act. UN Special Rapporteur on the situation of human rights in the occupied Palestinian territory Francesca Albanese called them “a momentous step forward.” “The Hague Group was born to advance international law in an era of impunity,” said South Africa’s Foreign Minister, Ronald Lamola. “The measures adopted in Bogotá show that we are serious — and that coordinated state action is possible.” The response from Washington was swift — and revealing. In a threatening statement to journalists, a US State Department spokesperson accused The Hague Group of “seeking to isolate Israel” and warned that the US would “aggressively defend our interests, our military, and our allies, including Israel, from such coordinated legal and diplomatic” actions. But instead of deterring action, the threats have only clarified the stakes. In Bogotá, states did not flinch. They acted — and they invite the world to join them. The deadline for further states to take up the measures is now two months away. And with it, the pressure is mounting for governments across the world — from Brazil to Ireland, Chile to Spain — to match words with action. As Albanese said, “the clock is now ticking for states — from Europe to the Arab world and beyond — to join them.” This is not a moment to observe. It is a moment to act. Share the Joint Statement from Bogotá and popularise the six measures. Write to your elected representative and your government and demand they sign on before 20 September. History was made in Bogotá. Now, it’s up to all of us to ensure it becomes reality, that Palestinian life is not disposable and international law is not optional. The era of impunity is coming to an end. Palestine is not alone. In solidarity, The Progressive International Secretariat  
    • Most countries charge for entry to museums and galleries, often a different rate for locals (tax payers) and foreign nationals. The National Gallery could do this, also places like the Museums in South Kensington, the British Library and other tax-funded institutions. Many cities abroad add a tourist tax to hotel bills. It means tourists help pay for public services.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...