Leagl and Medical advice please

[nashoi]

I'd just like to pick the brains of some of the professionals who read this forum if I may.

A few ago it was repoted that campaigners in New Zealand were trying to get equal rights for primates to humans on the basis they shared over 99% of their DNA with us. Various experts were wheeled into british newsrooms to poo poo this idea. One of them did so with the argument that we share 50% of our DNA with broccoli. This set me to thinking, could it be possible that eventually broccoli may have the same rights as a witness in a New Zealand court as a woman does in a sharia court today.

So, do any of the barristers, who I know read this forum, have any experiance with broccoli, are women really as reliable? Persoally I've always found broccoli to be exemplary in its behaviour. I can't recall a single occasion when it's lied to me or let me down, even when past its best before date. I couldn't say the same thing about some of the women I've known.

Another expert used bananas as his example, again the 50% figure was used. So presumably the average man is worth two bananas. My question to the medical practioners is, if a chap is not quite the full two bananas is there treatment available on the NHS for this. Sorry, herbalists need not reply as I do not believe in pseudo-science.

[woofmarkthedog]

I love women, but couldn't eat a whole one.

[HAL9000]

A recent study in the states has established that one lawyer contains about as much humanity as twenty-eight chimpanzees. One particularly hirsute lawyer was heard to mutter; If this is Justice, I'm a banana!

HTH

[Kells]

nashoi Wrote:

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> So presumably the average

> man is worth two bananas. My question to the

> medical practioners is, if a chap is not quite the

> full two bananas is there treatment available on

> the NHS for this. Sorry, herbalists need not reply

> as I do not believe in pseudo-science.

2 bananas? Gross over-estimation, I think ;) Treatment on the NHS was discontinued a few years back, there was too much demand and the system couldn't cope.

[Moos]

My research has shown that many men claim that they are bananas but in fact are much more likely to be found to be runner beans.

I trust this will be useful to you.

P.S. If I eat a lot of broccoli, does this make me less human?

[nashoi]

My research has shown that many men claim that they are bananas but in fact are much more likely to be found to be runner beans.

I trust this will be useful to you.

P.S. If I eat a lot of broccoli, does this make me less human?

Halfway to cannibalism actually, but as a lover of the legume forgiven

[Huguenot]

As it happens, under British law primates do have rights that eschew those of more run of the mill mammals.

Principally regarding testing.

I'm concerned that Moos' testing may have involved a serious breach of these conditions in the name of 'research'. The Japanese, of course, 'research' whales.

[????]

whilst broccoli doesn't let you down agreed, it doesn't look very good on your arm...if you know what I'm saying.

[Huguenot]

Never had a cross word with broccoli. The lady wife's a different matter.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Maybe you need to trade it in for some tender-stem broccoli.

[Moos]

Huguenot Wrote:

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> As it happens, under British law primates do have

> rights that eschew those of more run of the mill

> mammals.

>

> Principally regarding testing.

>

> I'm concerned that Moos' testing may have involved

> a serious breach of these conditions in the name

> of 'research'. The Japanese, of course, 'research'

> whales.

I am surprised at you, sir. I would have thought it hardly necessary to assure you that all of my research was carried out upon unpaid volunteers in none of whose vocabulary was contained the word 'ook'.

[Brendan]

It is a legally proven truth that nobody will take you seriously if you are eating a banana. This is a lesser known precedent that the barristers reading this on their clients? time would do well to remember.

[HonaloochieB]

On the other hand thoughtfully nibbling on a small floret of brocolli gives you an air of gravitas and expertise in your chosen field.

Greg Wallace told me that.

[HAL9000]

EDF IQ Test

Is Broccoli -

A: a cross between a cauliflower and a barrister?

B: a naturally occurring brassica?

C: a producer of James Bond films?

 

[????]

D)a place over the hill

[Cassius]

I've heard Purple Sprouting can be a bit high-maintenance.

[LegalEagle-ish]

Cassius Wrote:

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> I've heard Purple Sprouting can be a bit

> high-maintenance.

Mine seems reluctant to sprout.

[HonaloochieB]

HAL9000 Wrote:

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> EDF IQ Test

>

> Is Broccoli -

>

> A: a cross between a cauliflower and a barrister?

> B: a naturally occurring brassica?

> C: a producer of James Bond films?

>

A - Jesus was hung on a cross between two thieves, it's quite possible one was a barrister. I don't think cauliflower had been invented at the time.

B - I think you'll find the word is 'brassiere' and they featured heavily in the James Bond films. Apparently he could open one one=handed and flick it atop the shower rail in under ten seconds.

C - See B.

[nashoi]

"Apparently he could open one one=handed and flick it atop the shower rail in under ten seconds."

James Bond, clearly a man worth the full 2 bananas and possibly a pear as well. I'm surprised Fleming never got around to pointing this out given all the other cobblers he came up with.