My farts stink

[daizie]

my friend does the biggest fanny farts in the world :-S

[bigbadwolf]

Jesus Christ.

[panda boy]

I can't resist asking this, but how do you know?

[bigbadwolf]

They share a sleeping bag, that's how.

[daizie]

because she can just do them, she gets in all sorts of positions (clothed of course) its her party trick, very amusing .

[bigbadwolf]

Good God! Does she do a follow up trick to keep the punters keen or does she just pull a rabbit out of her snatch?

[panda boy]

Maybe she can fart the theme tune from friends?

[bigbadwolf]

Maybe not.

[daizie]

lol, no she doesnt do any of that but she FFarts along to songs, depending on how much she's had to drink :)

[daizie]

It is a most unusual skill . ( sounds a bit like a bouncy castle deflating ) :-S

[bigbadwolf]

I remember a particularly rainy camping holiday in Devon when I was younger. We'd finished our dinner and dad had polished off a few lagers and had fallen asleep.

Whilst he slumbered he was letting off a string of involuntary yet comical farts that me and my younger brothers attempted to decipher using Morse code.

We didn't get far.

[panda boy]

Well i don't think i've ever heard a bouncy castle deflating, but if it sounds like a FFart, then i'm never going near one ever again...

Does your friend know you're telling all about her 'talents'?

[daizie]

No she doesnt know, unless her ears are burning, but it does'nt matter becasue she lives in Surrey

[bigbadwolf]

I think that the 'friend' is well aware of what's being discussed on here panda boy.

[panda boy]

Hmmm

[bigbadwolf]

Yes, I do.

Although I admit to chiding a few forum members for their selfish dereliction of the English language I don't like the word pedant as it conjures up images of speccy academics pouring over the works of another fellow boffin whilst tutting their way through all the simple grammatical errors.

I'm very rarely combative as I'm usually quite a laid back kinda guy.....I have my moments though.....when Sean's around.

[panda boy]

Ok, that's fine, if not coming across as particularly laid back.

And getting a little off the whole farting topic here, but could you please let me know how i'm guilty, in any way, of the 'selfish dereliction of the English language'??!

Plus i can't be held responsible of what images get conjured up in your head when i write a simple word like 'pedant', underlined or not.

[bigbadwolf]

I don't remember singling out any one on particular to come and see me after class to go over their spelling panda boy but if it seemed like that then you're obviously a better reader than I am.

I don't for one minute blame you for the images that may or may not pop up in my head panda boy but I will please ask you not to bring up the word pedant again.

It's most offensive, especially to an academic man of letters such as myself.

[daizie]

Bbw which letters are these that you speak of ?

[bigbadwolf]

The letters that denote my credentials after my name.

In my case, bigbadwolf CEng.

Obviously.

[panda boy]

No, you didn't single any one out in particular, but you gave the impression that i was getting a bbw 'chiding', i was just wondering what got your back up, that's all?

And as offensive as the 'p' word is to you, feeling like i'm being accused of 'a selfish dereliction of the English language' as you put it, is offensive to me.

I'm glad you don't blame me for the images.

Anyway, this thread should return to it's true subject of farting...

[bigbadwolf]

I'm glad we're both back on the same page panda boy.

[panda boy]

Absolutely, we can sort out the spelling later bbw!

[bigbadwolf]

Quite.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

daizie Wrote:

my friend does the biggest fanny farts in the world :-S

Her name is not xxxx and she did not live in Reservoir Road, New Cross did she daizie?

You have brought back memories that I am trying to permanently erase from my memory bank, paticularly in this case as I was the, er, victim...much to the joint pleasure of xxxx and her friend Gemma:(

I never did return to their flat for some reason....:)