East Dulwich Pseuds Corner

[????]

We chatted with house manager Cherif who had the air of someone who had done this for years, and loved every minute of it.

Cherif in kitchen: 'We've a right pair of patronising yuppie twats in the corner by the gents.'

[SeanMacGabhann]

To the "posts that made me laugh" thread immediatement - good work quids

[Muley]

Moos Wrote:

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> I was a liquorice allsort in an amateur production

> of the Nutcracker aged 5, and I recently went

> white-water rafting and didn't fall out. Does

> that count?

Doing the Hokey Cokey and splashing in a puddle in wellies would count Moos.

Disappointing that by the age of 5 you weren't a professional liquorice allsort, though. Did your school reports used to say something like 'shows promise but must apply herself more', hmm?

[Moos]

Um...

Yes.

[Jeremy]

I was actually "The Nutcracker" in our school production... yep that's right, the title role!

Although the human incarnation of the nutcracker only lasts for one scene. And I'm pretty sure I fucked that up.

[HonaloochieB]

HAL9000 Wrote:

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> macroban Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > I present for your delight....

> >

> > Unfortunately the author has to remain

> anonymous

> > and uncredited.

>

> But not entirely unrewarded, it seems: whoever he

> is:

>

> 1) he sounds like the victim of an AA Gill

> overdose, and

> 2) the table wasn't the only thing that got laid

> last night.

>

> Anyway, nice one. I've sealed a few conquests over

> dinner at the Locale, too - highly recommended. I

> find their Caribbean Sunset cocktail particularly

> effective.

AA Gill is a prince among men HAL,please do not mention him in the same breath as this nebish.

[HonaloochieB]

But did he try out his O'Level Italian on the staff?

Missed a trick there he did.

Perhaps next time.

[HAL9000]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> HAL9000 Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> > 1) he sounds like the victim of an AA Gill

> > overdose

> AA Gill is a prince among men HAL, please do not

> mention him in the same breath as this nebish.

I may be mistaken but I got the impression that the nebish was trying to emulate the master. AA Gill's writing style looks deceptively effortless. I can see how budding amateurs could be enticed into futile attempts at mimicry.

[Muley]

AA Gill is indeed a skilfull and entertaining writer and this reviewer is an arse, but personally I applaude the substitution of 'The Blonde' for 'Nina the kayaking ballerina'

Anyway, isn't AA Gill best mates with Clarkson...(spits in disgust)

[HonaloochieB]

Adrian tolerates Jeremy and is good influence on him.

[Jeremy]

Eh?

[Brendan]

You heard the man!

[HonaloochieB]

Adrian would gently remonstrate with you for that Eh! Jeremy.

Do please correct it, there's a good fellow.

[Muley]

I'll see your 'Eh?' and raise you a 'Meh!'

[HonaloochieB]

Muley Wrote:

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Anyway, isn't AA Gill best mates with

Clarkson...(spits in disgust)

I don't think they're bum chums, as we used to say in my schools. Both primary and secondary.

However, I reckon Adrian likes to take Jeremy on some of his restaurant outings in order to sort out decent mechanics for his Bentley, and to camply imply he had to let him know which fish fork he should eat his cheesecake with.

But mostly for the joy of seeing that Easter Island-sized face chomping down on posh scran.

I mean, who wouldn't?

[Muley]

Good point HB, the thought of Clarkson eating volauvents does conjures up images of a whale filtering plankton through its gaping maw