How much to spend on a wedding gift???

[DaveR]

Por old *Bob*...always the bridesmaid

[*Bob*]

Given half the chance, Dave

[*Bob*]

Are there any other married couples out there who wish to parade the specialness of their special day in front of me?

Step forward. My arms are folded and my face is set to 'scowl'.

[Brendan]

annaj Wrote:

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> I love weddings

> and ours was a really important day for me.

Me too but those list things fly in the face of the spirit of gift giving.

I?ve been deeply offended by them before at friends? and family members? weddings.

That doesn?t mean that I bore the people any ill will. But the lists are testaments to materialism and border on, sometimes slipping completely into, greed.

When they contain pages and pages of things that you know the couple already have but the ones on the list are the better brand or slightly more expensive/impressive version than they already have, I?m offended. I?m there to celebrate love and family sentiment not to pander to their aspirations. Or when you go through one and there isn?t a single item on it less that ?100 when you know full well that there are elderly people attending the wedding who are spending their savings just to be there and will now feel obliged to spend further huge sums they can?t afford because they don?t want to offend and want to feel included especially since they only see their family once every few years, I?m offended then too.

By all means make a gift list. Give it to on of the mums and tell people to call and ask about it and choose something and let her tick off what they are going to get. But a department store?s website with everything ascribed a value through price and branded ready for your online payment is just crass.

That?s my opinion on the matter. Take umbrage with it if you will but it is nothing aimed personally at you.

[Brendan]

What the hell is a dualit?

[*Bob*]

It's like a Bugaboo, only it makes toast.

[SeanMacGabhann]

It's like a lit but there are 2 of them

[annaj]

Looking at the wider picture I'd say this...

Someone around here once said, in all walks of life there are cocks and non-cocks.... and I think *Bob*'s law applies pretty well here.

Wedding lists aren't the problem, cocks are. Having a prohibitively expensive list, having different lists for different classes of guests, expecting or demanding gifts are all examples of unacceptable rudness, but it's not the list that's rude it's the people. You can't generalise about weddings or gift lists because both are only as good or bad as the people who have them.

Oh, I know, that's not entirely true, good people can have bad weddings, but it's pretty much true and it's why I've taken offence. I don't like being lumped in with rude people in a lazy generalisation.

[Brendan]

I also don?t like the fact that a single retailer is given the monopoly over the wedding gifts. I?m pretty sure it violates some sort of EU directives on cartel behaviour or antitrust legislation.

But I?m going to stop this now because I think I?ve been making a big, shouty mountain out of a vaguely annoying molehill. I can?t help it. I?ve been having rage issues ever since I stepped in dog shit on Monday night.

[annaj]

By all means make a gift list. Give it to on of the mums and tell people to call and ask about it and choose something and let her tick off what they are going to get.

So, your mum holding the list is fine, but a shop holding it is crass, boring and offensive. I don't really see the difference, except that the mum option involves more work for your mum.

[DaveR]

"I also don?t like the fact that a single retailer is given the monopoly over the wedding gifts. I?m pretty sure it violates some sort of EU directives on cartel behaviour or antitrust legislation."

WARNING - PEDANTRY

A cartel, by definition, involves more than one business. On the other hand, there is 'abuse of dominance', prohibited by Chapter II Competion Act and Article 82 of the EC treaty.

But I suspect the retialer in question just has a huge range of wedding listy type stuff spanning an agreeable lower-upper middle class price bracket.

[????]

?7.50...anyone?

[Brendan]

Anyway Anna I?m sure none of your guest would have taken offence as they probably aren?t as idiosyncratic, cantankerous and tempestuous as me.

[????]

,,or as camp

[Brendan]

???? Wrote:

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> On weekends I like to wear pretty frilled

> dresses and have people call me Cynthia.

[????]

It's only what my personal shopper told me to do

[Mick Mac]

Brendan Wrote:

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> ???? Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > On weekends I like to wear pretty frilled

> > dresses and have people call me Cynthia.

I must have missed that post from ????s, Brendan

[Brendan]

Oh he's gone back and edited it now no doubt.

[????]

Brendan Wrote:

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> ???? Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > On weekends I like to wear pretty frilled

> > dresses and have people call me Cynthia.

Do people have to keep quoting this

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Don't worry Cyn, at least you don't carry hairspray in your manbag.

[Brendan]

Sorry wrong thread.

I just accidentally posted some cricket stuff here.

[Mick Mac]

Just for *Bob* - My assistant at work is getting married soon and this is from the "Gift List" section of her webpage....

"We appreciate the effort you will be all making to join us in the Czech Republic and the cost associated.

The most important thing for us is to have our friends and family with us on our special day.

We have therefore decided against having a wedding gift list."

[daizie]

id buy them a CD by git-head

[red devil]

On your marks...

[????]

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